I’m going to pose the question that’s on everyone’s mind: Where is Edge? Is he checking out the Finnish Art Nouveau buildings in Helskinki? Visiting the faux-”Tropical Beach” in Helsingborg? Touring the Baltic wonders of Hel, Poland? Or just spending some island time in the Hellenic Republic?

He could be doing any of these things. Because he hasn’t returned to the WWE since The Undertaker evidently sent him hell during the hell in the cell match at SummerSlam. Straight through the ring, fire and everything. And if hell is under the ring, does that mean Hornswaggle is one of Satan’s minions? I digress.

An exclusive jabandgrapple investigation revealed that the last time Edge checked into his myspace page was April 24, 2008 and he hasn’t posted a blog entry there since seeing the Foo Fighters. Could my favorite Rated-R Superstar really be gone?

Actually it’s been reported on the wrestling gossip newsletters that Edge has a slew of nagging injuries and just wanted some time off. A TLC match and a Hell In A Cell Match will do that to you. In the meantime, we wish Edge well. SmackDown hasn’t been the same without your flowing mane. Vickie Guerrero hasn’t been as despicable, the show hasn’t been as lively, the Edgeheads not as sycophantic, and poor Chavo just seems lost. Even your biggest supporter, Mick Foley, had to leave and join TNA. (Bad choice, sock man. Bad choice.) Come back Edge, we all miss you so much!

WWE SmackDown Live Blog, Part Two

Finlay and Hornswaggle def. The Miz and Morrison
Triple H def. Chavo Guerrero
Natalya and Maryse def. Michelle McCool and Cherry

Image details: Flavio Briatore And Elisabetta Gregoraci Wedding Ceremony served by picapp.com

Segment Six:
Will Finlay and Hornswaggle ever stop fighting The Miz and Morrison? Aren’t all four now in ECW? Mick and JR discuss Hornswaggle drinking a Guinness and I’m thinking about ending this live blog early and heading down to my local Irish Bar establishment.

Finlay lands a terrific Celtic Cross on Morrison but The Miz breaks it up. While the ref is tsk-tsking Morrison and telling him to leave the ring Finlay hits The Miz with the shillelagh knocking him out cold. Hornswaggle tags in and flops off the top rope and onto the Real World rebel pinning him one-two-three. Does this mean we’re going to have to see these four fight yet again? We’re afraid so.

***

Hold up. A local commercial for the July 29 ECW/SmackDown event in Hershey, PA says the Main Event is Triple H vs. Edge for the WWE Championship. We…are…so…there.

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ECW Results and Highlights

Finlay def. The Miz
Braden Walker def. Armando Estrada
Evan Bourne def. Nunzio
Tommy Dreamer def. Mark Henry by DQ (?)

Last week I asked ECW to give me a reason to love it. It didn’t. So really, I shouldn’t be watching. But I am because the good people at the Innovative Beverage Group sent jabandgrapple.com some of their new “anti-energy” drink: Drank. The beverage promises to “calm and relax you” with ingredients that include Melatonin, Rose Hips, and Valerian Root. My ECW hate has been so virulent as of late that I need some relaxation. I need, as the drink boasts, to “slow my roll”.

Finlay and The Miz are squaring off as I pour my first into a neat glass tumbler; I’m drinking the gently carbonated Drank on ice. Before the match I’m quietly confident that these two will step it up in their singles match. I’m not as confident about the Drank. The first sip isn’t nearly as sweet as I expect and is reminiscent of a pleasant grape soda. I fear that it is going to go down real smooth. Too smooth.

Finlay takes care of The Miz with some help from Hornswaggle and the Drank is already calming me down. I might even enjoy the Mark Henry-Tommy Dreamer main event! The first commercial break contains an advert for 5-hour energy drink talking about the evils of energy drinks. I’m one step ahead of them though. I’m not interested in energizing, I’m interested in relaxing. And Drank already has me on my way.

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ECW Results and Highlights

Matt Hardy, Finlay, and Hornswaggle def. The Miz, Morrison, and Chavo Guerrero
Atlas Ortiz def. Armando Estrada
Mark Henry vs. Colin Delaney

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As we all know, ECW got the serious short end of the WWE Draft stick. Here’s a summary:

Wrestlers (of note) Lost: CM Punk (now WWE Heavyweight Champ); Kane; Kofi Kingston (now Intercontinental Champ); Shelton Benjamin.

Wrestlers Gained: Matt Hardy; Mark Henry; Finlay; Hornswaggle; Super Crazy.

What that means is that I’ve lost four of the seven reasons I watched ECW. The other three being The Miz, Morrison, and Evan Bourne. I’ve gained 1 1/2 reasons to tune in on Tuesday nights (Finlay and Hornswaggle). That leaves me with 4 1/2 reasons to watch which I’m pretty sure is less than seven.

In short, I’m giving this week a shot. ECW has to earn its way onto my Tuesday night schedule.

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WWE Night of Champions Pay-Per-View Results

I’m posting the WWE Night of Champions Pay-Per-View Results right here live. If I’m up to it I’ll live blog clever comments any funny stuff. If nothing funny or clever appears then I outsourced the Night of Champions results posts to Mrs. Jabandgrapple.

Match #8
Triple H def. John Cena to retain the WWE Championship

John Cena has to win this one. SmackDown can’t have both titles. Nevertheless, Mrs. Jabandgrapple’s intuition leans toward Triple H bringing both titles to Friday night. I have to agree.

Michael Cole says “If you’re not excited about this one then go home.” Well, I’m not excited about this one and I’m already at home. So what should I do?

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ECW Results and Highlights

Hornswaggle def. Armando Estrada
Evan Bourne def. Matt Stryker
Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox ended when Shelton Benjamin enters ring
CM Punk def. Morrison

I don’t know why ECW gets a bad rap. This week’s show once again trumped Monday Night RAW in terms of excitement and good wrestling. Heck, it fit the same number of matches into one hour than last night’s show fit into two. FYI, I’m not counting RAW’s 12 second tag team bout as a match. It’s interesting what you can do when you’re not spending the entire show dialing a phone and giving away money.

The Hornswaggle vs. Armando Estrada match featured hilarious Looney Toons-like sequences with Estrada playing the perplexed Sylvester/Coyote/Elmer Fudd to Hornswaggle’s Tweety Bird/Roadrunner/Bugs Bunny. Hornswaggle dropped marbles, he shot super soakers, he broke cigars, and was always just out of reach from his frustrated pursuer.

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ECW Results and Highlights

RESULTS
Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne def. Mike Knox and Shelton Benjamin
Veronica def. Kelly Kelly
Finlay def. Armando Estrada
Colin Delaney def. Armando Estrada
Hornswaggle def. Armando Estrada
The Miz and Morrison def. Kane and CM Punk

Vince McMahon’s announcement of the June 23 WWE Draft has taken a bit of anticipation from tonight’s ECW matches. The bookend tag team matches were fun but their feuds will surely not be maintained when a few of these stars will be drafted into other WWE brands.

For example, it’s hard for me to put any attention to the Kofi Kingston - Shelton Benjamin rivalry because both deserve and appear to be moving upward and out of the ECW. Still, they’re very good in the ring together and I thought the toss flip Benjamin landed on his feet was impressive. Wish they had had more time to face off against each other.

Kofi seems suited to fill SmackDown’s high-flying void - at least until Rey Mysterio reappears - and his goofy Jamaican stereotype angle would fit on the Friday night show. That being said I thought the opening ECW tag team match was terrific.

I really like the in-ring aerials of Evan Bourne (who last week was Matt Sydal). If he’s given a chance he could pump a lot of excitement and action into the ECW and might even get himself a tag team title belt. Below is a youtube video of their match. If you didn’t see it, judge for yourself.

Regarding the other matches, I don’t ever mind seeing WWE Diva Kelly Kelly but I’ve already tired of the Armando Estrada saga which has descended into pure comic relief. Pinned by Hornswaggle! C’mon.

The main event tag team title match was watchable but Kane’s pre-match showdown with Big Show sapped the match’s momentum and relegated it to a sideshow to the future Night of Champions event.

WWE SmackDown Results 6/7/08

HOUR ONE RESULTS
Finlay def. Chuck Palumbo
The Great Khali def. Deuce and Domino

INTRO
La Familia begins the night drinking champagne in the center of the ring celebrating Edge’s World Heavyweight Championship and banishment of The Undertaker. This extended segment is highlight by a fake light’s out Undertaker intro, an extended continental kiss between Edge and Vickie Guerrero, and Vickie’s shocking return to her wheelchair. The crowd is especially hostile to Vickie. They reign profuse boos on her when she announces that she plans to marry Edge on July 11’s SmackDown. Batista interrupts their fun and is now scheduled to face La Familia in tonight’s main event.

MATCH #1
The Finlay - Chuck Palumbo feud continues with a no-DQ “Belfast Brawl” contest. Finlay wins after popping Palumbo with Chuck’s motorcycle chain. Palumbo is predictably distracted by Hornswaggle, this time by a vicious uppercut to the privates. I like the rough and tumble brawls these two are involved in but Finlay’s now won all three matches and I’m guessing their run is over. That’s a shame. Judging from the camera work Finlay’s next feud will involve M.V.P.

INTERLUDE
Big Show comes out showing off his gruesome eye injury. Mark Henry appears and his far too sweaty to look at. He’s challenging Big Show to a fight and their forced dialogue is painfully slow. These two won’t be joining the debate club anytime soon. This is a natural feud. Who else can these behemoths face? But it doesn’t get me that excited.

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Friday Night SmackDown, May 30, 2008

Match Two
Finley def. Chuck Palumbo by DQ

It’s a rematch of last week’s fun match where Hornswaggle sneakily sprayed Palumbo with the mysterious Green Irish Mist. Paulmbo was “burned physically and emotionally” last week. After Hornswaggle takes his customary refuge under the ring Palumbo rides in on his Harley sporting a Slash-style hat. That’s Slash to your right, not Palumbo, although their weights seem to be nearing each other.

Mick Foley makes a Slash-related hat joke. We already had our comment written and the picture downloaded. Great minds think alike. Me and the guy with the sock puppet.

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WWE SmackDown Results 5/24/08

Deuce, Domino and Maryse def. Jesse, Festus and Cherry
Finlay def. Chuck Palumbo
Batista def. M.V.P.
Vladimir Kozlov def. Nunzio
Matt Hardy and Kofi Kingston def. Shelton Benjamin and Elijah Burke
The Undertaker def. Chavo Guerrero

Friday night’s SmackDown concluded what has been an entertaining week of wrestling matches.

The hard-fought epic M.V.P.-Batista battle which saw terrific give-and-take, lots of powerful moves, and a successful building of an interesting feud.

My favorite bout of the night was surprisingly the Finlay-Chuck Palumbo match. The two sparred for a good ten minutes providing good action and compelling drama. All of this was emphasized by the fact that Hornswaggle spent most of the match under the canvas. But when the little guy emerged the fun began. The first time he disrupted a sure Palumbo pin by splattering the journeyman with a Super Soaker.

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