Anyway, a couple of sites have posted this video and I just couldn’t help myself. The “money shot” starts 30 seconds into the video.

Enjoy!

Post from: EveryJoe

Halo 3 Suicide: Rube Goldberg Edition

I was not disappointed.

Drake’s Fortune is like playing a character in a movie instead of a character in a game.

The graphics are beautifully rendered; I don’t feel that any of the screenshots do the game graphics justice.

Also, the voice acting is great; all of the characters are believable…definitely a breath of fresh air.

All in all, the environment is utterly engaging. Well, except for the part where I head shot a toucan and it got pissed and flew off.

I would love to give you a full review, but I can’t.

I’m currently stuck on the Plane Wreck chapter.

I have the damn game set on Easy, yet I still can’t seem to get past this one maddening section.

I will readily admit that the “shoot ‘em up” type of game isn’t my cup of tea.

I had planned on asking Tucker to beat this bastard section, but, apparently he’s stuck at the same spot.

Because of that little fact, I don’t feel like as much of a looser.

But, truth be told, after battling with this game in thirty different ways, I’m pissed at it and holding a grudge.

So, wish me luck that I’m able to kick this section’s ass and proceed.

If I continue to suck, the game’s getting traded.

Post from: EveryJoe

Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

I absolutely LOVE Oblivion. It’s replay value is through the roof and I have to say that I have a special soft spot in my heart for the Mage’s Guild.

I’m the “leader” of all of the guilds, I’ve closed all of the Oblivion Gates. I’ve done it all. Well, I haven’t done it all since I can still wander around and find a cave or settlement that I didn’t know was there.

Back to Shivering Isles.

I finally got my hands on this handy dandy expansion and I LOVE it.

Shivering Isles was one of those rare games that I bought without reading a single review. I had already drank the Oblivion Kool-Aid; I didn’t need any convincing.

The first thing that struck me was the Matrix esque choice between dementia or mania.

I really don’t think it’s fair to force me to make such an important decision so early on, but, if I hadn’t, I would have much less to write about. [I chose mania by-the-way]

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not finished with the expansion. However, I’ve gotten far enough into it to say that there is a distinct “this is hard as hell” learning curve.

The “monsters” just seem a bit more bad ass. Not to mention [but I will] they’re scarier looking.

I have to tell you that I am a huge wuss when it comes to the “scary” parts. The Oblivion Gates almost made me wet myself and thank the gods for my superior conjuring ability. Not only does it provide me with some company [go ahead and roll your eyes] but, very few things can stand up against Xivilai.

I’m off to play more as soon as I publish this. I expect hours upon hours of missing time…Oblivion games seem to do that to me.

Updates to follow.

Post from: EveryJoe

The Elder Scrolls IV: Shivering Isles

The Wii is kicking much console ass and is now the top console in the world! That’s right…the world.

360 is holding strong and Sony as a whole is doing good with PS2 and PSP sales…PS3 not so much.

I keep keeping my fingers crossed for the PS3. I think that it’s a superior system to the 360 but the game selection for the PS3 sucks.

Based solely on numbers, I’m starting to worry that my blind devotion to my PS3 is akin to the blind devotion that some parents have for their looser adult kids who live in their basement.

“Sure Tom’s 40 and doesn’t have a job, but he’s still exploring his options. He really is amazing.”

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve said, “Sure the PS3 costs an arm and a leg. Sure the game selection sucks. BUT, it’s an awesome system. Really, it is!”

But, like every good delusional parent, I haven’t given up on Steve just yet; Assassin’s Creed will hopefully boost sales as will some new first quarter games.

Anyway, onto other things since “Round-Up” implies more than one subject.

Game Informer has their December cover on their website. [I heart Game Informer]

The issue has an Assassin’s Creed review which I’ll be interested to read and their 2007 Buyers Guide which is always good.

Obviously the main feature of the issue is the upcoming Ghostbuster’s game. As a long time fan of the movies, this game excites me in dorky ways that I can’t explain.

And speaking of Assassin’s Creed… [That's what I was writing about, right?]

Am I the only one who isn’t able to have two games going at once? Wait. That kind of makes no sense.

What I mean is am I the only one who can’t have a saved game and then be playing another game? Whatever. You know what I mean.

My style of playing and Tucker’s [the husband] are totally different and of course we want to be able to play our own games. Not gonna happen apparently. I had a game going and then we had friends come over to take a look. The friends wanted to play and the saved over my game. [Thanks guys.]

So yesterday I go to start over and decided to leave their game just in case they want to come back over and play some more. The game wouldn’t let me.

Just a tad bit annoying.

I’m definitely curious to know if anyone else has had this issue.

And one more bitch before I go back to slaving over my Assassin’s Creed game:

I mentioned Crysis here.

After the spanking that my desktop took when I tried to play the Time Shift demo, I knew that there was no way that I would be playing Crysis. And then I read this and it made me want to play the game…like a whole lot.

Sad times, right?

My pathetic PC can’t keep up. Well, don’t laugh before you read this. I have a sneaking suspicion that your PC can’t keep up with Crysis either. [Imagine me sticking my tongue out at you.]

Crap PC or not, I’m off to kill stuff [assassin style].

Post from: EveryJoe

Friday Round-Up

Man, oh man.

My weekend is officially screwed.

I have avoided all of the Guitar Hero games like the plague.

I have serious games to play; I don’t have time for frivolous games like Guitar Hero. [cough]

Unfortunately, all of my efforts were for naught. The husband has officially undermined my authority and has brought the damn game home.

Bastard.

The cute little guitar is sitting in the corner right now…mocking me.

Apparently Husband [bastard!] has a “Guitar Hero” party in the works.

What fun!

Five or six twenty-something drunk guys in my living room acting like forty-something drunk rock gods.

Are you feeling sorry for me yet? Even a little bit?

Actually, I’m completely full of shit. [Have you noticed that yet?]

I didn’t want anything to do with the game because I have a sneaking suspicion that I am going to become an addict.

I’ve had visions of the future and they scare the crap out of me.

A month from now, I see myself with bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and my hands permanently fused into the “guitar position”.

I’m so screwed.

Post from: EveryJoe

Somebody Stop Me

What happened to the days of Bejeweled and time-suck Tetris?

Oh…that’s right…next gen consoles.

Anyway, in honor of those foregone years when times were a bit more simple, I have compiled a far from exhaustive list of highly addictive Flash games.

Because seriously, who doesn’t like to waste an hour [or five] on completely useless games?

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

#1 http://www.shaunthesheep.com/games/woolyjumper/

#2 http://www.ncra.tifr.res.in/~samiris/games/reflex.html

#3 http://fsk.deviantart.com/art/Line-Rider-beta-40255643

#4 http://tinyurl.com/yo6llg

#5 http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bugs.htm

#6 http://homokaasu.org/gasgames/game.gas?21

#7 http://www.onemorelevel.com/games.php?game=603

[#5 kind of scares me]

Post from: EveryJoe

Tiny List of Flash Time Wasters

Post from: EveryJoe

Spam Looks Good

Have an Ironic Gaming New Year!

Update: The video is working now. ^0^

Post from: EveryJoe

FireWorks, HangOvers & 2007