HOUR ONE RESULTS
Cousin Sal def. Santino Marella
Natalya wins the 7-woman Golden Dreams Match
Vladimir Kozlov def. Jimmy Wang Yang
Batista, Nunzio, Funaki, and Colin Delaney def. Edge, Zack Ryder, Chavo Guerrero, and Curt Hawkins

MATCH #3
Cousin Sal enters the ring dressed in a kilt accompanied by Roddy Piper and Jimmy Kimmel. When Cousin Sal reveals his “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” singlet Mick Foley says this match could set SmackDown back a decade. We hate cross promotion. That said, if anyone wants me to promote anything on www.jabandgrapple.com I will shill ceaselessly.

It’s really a shame that Marella has become what Jim Cornette labeled him as: a comedy JOB. I like Santino’s act and this Cousin Sal match was an unfunny disgrace.

What is funny is the next between match segment where The Miz and Morrison are picking on Hornswaggle. Finlay gallantly intervenes while the wee leprechaun shoots the Tag Team champs with a super soaker. After the water-spraying fun we learn that Chavo Guerrero will be Edge’s best man.

MATCH #4
This bout, dubbed the Golden Dreams Match, pitts seven WWE divas in a race to grab the golden star which is perched about seven feet above a corner ring post. The winner will earn a spot in a the match for the new SmackDown Divas championship. This match is pure catfight fun but sadly lasts for a shorter span than the Divas’ entrance times. Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart’s daughter Natalya grabs the star on looks to be on the fast route to women’s wrestling stardom.

MATCH #5
Continuing the night’s two-minutes-or-less match theme Vladimir Kozlov brutalizes the much smaller Jimmy Wang Yang. Please put him against somebody good. Please!

MATCH #6
Tonight’s main event is the entire La Familia versus Batista and Vickie Guerrero’s choice of partners. Those unfortunate three turn out to be the very petite triad of Nunzio, Funaki, and Colin Delaney. Together those three might weigh as much as Batista’s partner at last week’s SmackDown: Big Show. Will Batista make a tag in this match? It’s doubtful. If Batista loses this match then he won’t get a title opportunity against Edge.

But Batista does tag and we’re provided with the night’s first bit of excitement when the Animal tosses Delaney into Chavo Guerrero. Delaney is now getting bullied by La Familia. I think he might even be crying. Could Cousin Sal defeat Colin Delaney? Probably. Now it’s Funaki’s turn for a beatdown. La Familia obliges. This match is cruel. Not just to the tiny wrestlers but also to the viewer.

The camera keeps panning over to Batista and I keep wondering how his skin is so taut and are his squiggly veins actually ringworms? Funaki makes the tag and Batista is going wild. We get about 25 seconds of terrific action and hard fighting from Batista and the tiny three as they fend off the Edgeheads long enough for the Animal to Batista Bomb Zack Ryder, earn the pin, and a probable title shot.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE SmackDown 6/7 Hour Two: Batista and the Three Dwarfs

• Tommy Dreamer & Kelly Kelly def. Mike Knox & Layla
• Jimmy Wang Yang def. John Morrison
• Kofi Kingston def. Shelton Benjamin
• Mark Henry def. Nunzio

Poor match booking from top to bottom this week on ECW. I’m struggling to find anything in the entire hour worthy passing along. The “Familia” as they’re now being called with Edge, Vickie Guerrero, Chavo, and others, attacked Kane in what I guess you could call the main event, even though it wasn’t a match. Giving the group a name is semi-useful. It was getting pretty confusing as it kept growing and the simple title goes a long way in helping keep its members straight.

I am glad Kane is getting a push, though giving him the ECW title so quick was quirky in the least. It’s showing with the same old, same old every week and nothing is going to pump the fans up for the title match at Backlash. I think given time it could develop into something, either with the “Familia” and Chavo or another opponent, but giving Kane the title in the fashion he did, an absolute squash at Wrestlemania, and then expecting fans to buy into a legit match just seems odd. I’d love to be surprised but my expectations for Sunday’s match are really, really low.

Post from: EveryJoe

Kane, “Familia” Brawl on ECW

Post from: EveryJoe

SmackDown Results (April 11, 2008)

Post from: EveryJoe

SmackDown Results (April 4, 2008)

Post from: EveryJoe

Wrestlemania 24 Match Lineup

Here is a complete list of wrestlers participating in the tri-branded match:

Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Deuce, Domino, Tommy Dreamer, Jim Duggan, Festus, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Kane, Brian Kendrick, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Shannon Moore, Trevor Murdoch, Jamie Noble, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, Snitsky, Matt Striker, Val Venis and Jimmy Wang Yang.

Post from: EveryJoe

Pre-Wrestlemania 24 Man Battle Royal