– Stories Ripped Off From Today’s Headlines —
.
–
World’s First Recipient Of New Jaw And Tongue Smiles
…Then Licks Eyebrows Just To Mess With Everyone

Now, about that frog in my throat….
.
——————————————————————–
Scientists Confirm Reports Of Swine Flu In Turkeys
Country Braces For November Outbreak of Turducken Flu

Oh, my Lord! …the swine flu got the turkey!
.
——————————————————————–
Ms. Venezuela Wins Miss Universe For Second Year In A Row
Strongman Chavez Declares Hot Venezuelan Women A National Resource, Nationalizes All Sexy Latinas for Good of the Country

.
——————————————————————–
AFL-CIO Leader Named To Be Head Of NY Fed
Central Bank To Hire Four Hundred Bankers Who’ll Stand Around And Do Nothing; Fed …read more

– In A Surprise Move, Politician Will Claim to be Father of One Of Michael Jackson’s Kids –
As a grand jury in North Carolina meets to determine if there is enough evidence to bring charges against former presidential candidate John Edwards for using campaign funds to illegally buy silence about his affair, sources in North Carolina today said John Edwards is finally prepared to admit to being the father of a child out of wedlock.
Contrary to rumors, Edwards will not be admitting to fathering the child of Rielle Hunter, the woman he had an affair with in 2008, …read more

– Headlines Ripped Off From Today’s Stories –
Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s Happy Meal
Company Apologizes, Said It Should Have Advertised Offering As ‘Reeaally Happy Meal’

And you thought the Burger King was creepy…
—————————————————————–
Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s Happy Meal
Complains Meal Came With Wrapper, But No Toy
—————————————————————–
Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s Happy Meal
Ronald McDonald To Comment Right After He Finishes Cigarette

“As a matter of fact, I do have some fries to go with that shake…”
—————————————————————–
Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s Happy Meal
Gung-Ho Employee Proclaims “I Was Lovin’ It!”
—————————————————————–
Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s …read more