Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes def. Cryme Tyme
This match lasts 12 seconds. I am not kidding. It takes Vince McMahon longer to dial the next Million Dollar winner’s number. She can’t stop telling Vince how wonderful is, how much she loves him, and how she thinks he’s the most handsome person in the world.

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Paul Birchill and Katie Lea def. Mr. Kennedy and Mickie James
I enjoy all four of these wrestlers but am distracted and disturbed by the crawl reminding us to buy Ted DiBiase’s book, the WWE Kids magazine, WWE Diva ringtones, The Rock’s DVD (I do want that) and to register for next week’s Million Dollar Madness. This lottery farce is continuing next week! Maybe this week’s ratings will be down again and that will end it.

I like Katie Lea as a wrestler despite her tall awkwardness and her second pin in as many weeks of the WWE Women’s champ must mean something. She’s a convincingly vile heel, her myspace tag is dawgkilla, and I think her rivalry with James might have more legs than her “brother’s” saga with Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy has bigger and better things in his future.

Triple H def. Chris Jericho by DQ
Before tonight’s Main Event Frank from New Jersey wins $300K and tells Vince that he loves him. He had to have been prepped.

The match has started and Jericho has a quizzical probing look on his face. He’s trying to solve the puzzle that is Triple H. We suggest hair conditioner. Triple H viciously tosses Y2J into the ring post and Jericho grabs his shoulder. “Is he OK?” we wonder as the newly born match goes to commercial.

He must be. We return to see him put some damage to HHH via a kick to the head, an elbow to the face, and a slam into the steel chair. Jericho’s rage is getting the best of him as he recklessly walks into a HHH clothesline and knee to the face. Has the match turned?

Jericho can’t complete the Walls of Jericho (see left) and is hit with a Double-Edged Spine Buster and then a Pedig…no! Y2J counters but misses with a high risk Lionsault. HHH goes for the Pedigree again but Jericho counters again. The fight is getting good outside of the ring when Lance Cade, of all people, runs into the ring, assaults HHH, and the match is stopped.

John Cena shows up and all four start brawling. This is a disappointing turn of events. In the midst of it all Jericho puts HHH out with a Codebreaker showing what could have happened in the match had Cade stayed out of it all.

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE RAW 6/16 I Love You Vince McMahon

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Match Four
Mr. Kennedy def. Carlito

Kennedy’s predictable defeat Carlito comes quickly with a well-executed Mic Check. Then the fun starts. Paul Burchill and his lovely “sister” Katie Lea sneak attack Kennedy and beat him senseless for ejecting their countryman William Regal from the WWE. The Denver crowd erupts into a spontaneous U.S.A. U.S.A. chant.

Segment Grade: D

Match Five
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Tonight’s main event is a rematch of Judgment Day’s best bout. These two professionals are two of the WWE’s best and their match is bound to be terrific. They quickly get to work with some acrobatic counters. Spit flies as Y2J hits HBK with a well placed elbow. But Jericho isn’t able to capitalize as he misses out on a high risk leap and lands splat outside the ring in front of the announcing booth. Maybe he’ll take the mic and give us the announcement. No such luck. More commercials.

When we return Michaels hits a good backslide and nearly pins Y2J but Jericho quickly counters by climbing the ladder and hitting a neat kick to the head. He’s in control now but is unable to land the bulldog on Michaels. and is languishing on the ropes. There’s just too much good action: flips off the ropes, submission hold attempts, more jumps off the ropes, and cradles. Michaels then goes for the sweet chin music but is countered with a Walls of Jericho. Great great match! HBK is able to get to the rope and stop the pain but Jericho is still in control.

The match moves outside of the ring where Y2J hits another Walls of Jericho. The 10-second count comes and their both DQ’d. Y2J goes for another Walls but the ref breaks it up. Y2J then seems to snap. He picks up a folding chair and is going after the ref. But wait. Something clicks and he looks at HBK with pity, understanding, and empathy. He soundlessly apologizes, looks to be near tears, and walks out of the ring.

Segment Grade: A-. Only because it could have gone longer and Y2J’s emotional breakdown wasn’t explained. We eagerly await that one.

Post from: EveryJoe

Memorial Day Monday Night Raw: Main Event First, Then The Announcement