Reply to:youdothework@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-17, 10:39AM EDT
I am looking for someone who can interview a celebrity and then write a story based on the interview. I will then use the story to accompany photographs of this celebrity for a magazine article.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: negotiable

I know a million of you will write back to me to tell me nothing is amiss with this ad. To me it’s kind of odd. Dude has picture of a celebrity. Dude wants the celebrity interviewed to accompany said pictures. If Dude can get the pictures, why can’t he interview the celebrity. This can mean several things:

• Dude is shy.
• Dude has no clue how to contact a publicist and request and interview.
• Dude was assigned said article, with photographs, and is looking for someone else to do the writing work.

I don’t know why but this feels odd to me. Anyone else want to try?

Post from: EveryJoe

…And you can’t interview the celebrity….why?

I need help

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Reply to: gigs-593699051@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-02, 8:55PM PST
I lost my boyfriend. I called him and he didnt answer me. I know the only way to get him back is to write him an email to touch his heart because he is a soft hearted man. But I lack the skill myself. If you think you can help me to write an
email that can connect his emotion and make him response. Then lets talk.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

I’m sure he’ll appreciate the honest and effort you put into your love note. That you took the time to have someone else craft an email is sure to touch him in places he’s never been touched before. After all, it takes a special person to hit “send.”

Post from: EveryJoe

YOUR Words to Win MY Boyfriend Back

So this is what it’s come to:

Digg, Stumbleupon, Delicious, Reddit, Propeller -Powerusers wanted

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Reply to: ass@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-12, 1:12PM EST
We are looking to promote some articles online through these social news/bookmarking sites. Looking to create a possible long-term, mutually beneficial relationship. If you have a poweruser (or a user of significant weight) on any social bookmarking site, we’d love to hear from you.

• Location: Boston
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: Negotiable by power of user, frequency of promotion

Remember back in the day when all it took to hit big on Digg or another social media site was to write a good article or blog post? Those days are gone, my friend. Now social media networks abound. Digg Powerusers are accepting big money to ensure an article hits, even if it sucks.

How much do you suppose a front page Digg goes for these days?

The Craigslist Curmudgeon is broke and doesn’t believe in paying for glory. My low traffic speaks for itself.  The writers with the big bucks are the ones who make the front page of Digg with articles entitled “101 Cheerleaders Who Drive American Cars” “Top 10 Cat Breeds You Never Heard Of” or “10 Reasons You Need an Ant Farm in Your Kitchen.”

Every day I receive requests to “Digg this…” or “Stumble that…” and not too many of them come with a “Hey, how are you doing? What are you up to nowadays?” People I never even heard of are sending me “shouts” in hopes their articles will make it big and throw them a wave of traffic.

A well-written article used to speak for itself. Sadly, they’re not the ones getting the glory nowadays. Maybe I should write an article called “32 Ways to Write Blog Posts that Won’t Make it On Digg.” Bet it hits the front page.

Post from: EveryJoe

Wanted: Someone to Game Digg Because My Articles Suck

When I was younger I was always in awe of characters in spy movies or thrillers who had the proper “credentials.” You know what I mean, folks who couldn’t get through a certain door or checkpoint without the proper paperwork. “Here are my credentials.” they’d say with importance. I was never exactly sure what credentials were, but I knew they were important.

Now I can get me some for myself:

write a review about an indepedent film you enjoyed…

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Reply to: ass@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-09, 11:13PM EST
hello…..
Concreto Magazine is an independent publication focused on politics, art, music, film and fashion. For our first issue, we’re inviting writers and enthusiasts to pitch feature articles or reviews on any topic. Please send us a brief summary and title for your proposed piece. If it fits with our vision – producing a vivid panorama of modern culture – we will be in contact.
All articles are published with by-lines and contributors will be paid in issues initially.
hope to hear from you…

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: credentials

I wonder how I’ll receive my credentials. Surely something so importance isn’t paypaled to my email box or even snail mailed to my home. At the very least I’d expect express delivery. Something of this magnitude will probably arrive via armored car. I hope they call before delivery so I’ll be home.

I can’t wait to try and get in somewhere the little people aren’t generally allowed and saying “here are my credentials.” My friends will be green with envy.

Image via Google Images

Post from: EveryJoe

My Friends are Going to Be So Jealous

Translation please?

Not Quite Funny Ha Ha

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Reply to: ass@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-28, 4:09PM EST
My dear friends, specifically the literate ones, or in this case strangers, are you looking for a writing partner in the ever popular genre of metaphysical comedy? You know, where a guy thinks about slipping on a banana peel only he doesn’t exist and the banana wasn’t ripe to begin with. To the three of you who are thinking maybe? Please respond maybe with a writing sample, please no implied samples though, my grammer is always terrible when reading.

• Location: Astoria
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

Translation please? Seriously. Anyone? Do you think he’s looking for literate partners to make up for the fact he has no clue what the eff he’s talking about?

Submitted by Laurie Russo

Post from: EveryJoe

Not Quite Funny at All

seeking submissions for tiny zines

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Reply to: tinybylines@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-24, 4:43PM PST
I am looking for submissions for a series of tiny zines I am making in the upcoming months. How tiny you ask? About 2” by 1.5”
They need to be this small because I’m putting them in individual bubbles for a vending machine.
Submissions can be about anything- personal experiences, contemplations, poems, fictional stories, tiny things, really big things, anything you want. And the length of the piece isn’t that important, they will be bound differently depending on the length and content of your submission.
This is an unpaid position, however, full credit will be given to you including your name, and whatever else you’d like to add- email address, website, bio, etc. Unless you’d like to remain anonymous then that’s fine too.
Please email the submission in a Word document.
Thanks!

• Location: se portland
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

So in essence this guy is making up magazines so tiny they’re going to fit in those vending machine bubbles, the kind holding bouncy balls and mini plastic jewelry. The "Tiny Zines" won’t follow any particular format, basically any crap you want to send him in exchange for a byline.

WTF???

Who is going to want to waste their quarters on that? If I’m buying from a vending machine it better be something good. I’m certainly not purchasing random too small to read printed matter. I can see why he’s only paying his writers with an unreadable byline. His idea is so ass he’s not going to make any money from it.

Post from: EveryJoe

What Good is a Byline if It’s Too Small to Read?

Even this guy.

ghost writer (Midtown)

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Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-01-26, 6:29PM EST
im looking for a talented to ghost writer to help me put 10 years of hard living working for club med down on paper. i know there is a best selling book in my lifes story im just not a good enough writer to do it myself!!!if youre interested contact me at lameclubmedguy41@hotmail.com(theres even a story in the email address!!!)hope to hear soon thanks sammy.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

Ah yes. Club Med. What a tough life. The sun. The ocean. Fruity drinks with umbrellas. Sounds like a book to me.

Yawn.

Post from: EveryJoe

Everyone Has a Story

Keerist…

Do You Really Want To Contribute To Something? (oakland lake merritt / grand)

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Reply to: ass@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-07, 10:40AM PST
Evolution Of Media has several openings available for internship for Music Genre Specialist (writers). Selected specialist will have their work read by millions of music lovers, receive lots of free music, and free passes to selected industry functions. Below you will find a brief description of responsibilities.
Music Genre Specialist:
MGS are responsible for reviewing music before deadlines set by Evolutionofmedia.com. MGS will also A&R new music and interview artist.
MGS are responsible for submitting work that is properly edited and presented in a professional manner.
MGS is responsible for submitting all contacts information, questions and concerns to Corporate Office.
If you think this may be something you might be interested in please respond with 3 things.
1. A Cover Letter stating why Evolution of Media should select you as a Genre Specialist.
2. 3 paragraph music review.
3. Contact Information – Phone and Email

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

Let’s go over that compensation bit again, shall we. "No Pay." Now. Let’s go over what’s expected for your salary of "no pay."

You must state why you are right for the job: Umm. I’ll write for free? It can’t be because of my degrees and music background because everyone knows folks credentials are paid for their work.

You must audition – Wait a minute. For someone who doesn’t pay, you sure are choosy.

PLUS - The candidate needs to meet deadlines, interview artists, review new music, edit and present in a professional manner (wait…don’t professionals get paid?) and some crap about a corporate office.

So let’s go over that compensation again. Oh yeah. No pay.

Post from: EveryJoe

A Music Genre Specialist By Any Other Name…

1. Lamery With the Olsen Twins – Who knew the Olsen Twins would be too cheap to pay their writers? Even more surprising, who knew this post would receive more traffic than any other?
2. I Don’t Need My Apartment Cleaned That Bad – Why you’re all interested in a man who does housekeeping in the nude is beyond me. The Curmudgeon has a don’t ask don’t tell policy.
3. Will Work for Lash Extensions – Need some eyelashes or a Brazilian bikini wax? Trade it for your writing. Here’s a woman so confident about her business she feels it’s worthy of a Wikipedia write up.
4. Yes We’re Hiring But Not You – An angry woman wonders why no one will hire her. Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
5. Dirty Laundry – Gary plays a joke on frequenters of Craigslist.
6. Will Write for Donuts – Well…you won’t starve.
7. Is This an Ad or an Instant Message? idk. wht do u thnk?
8. That’s A Lot of Verys – They’re cheap but they have access to grants.
9. Paging Tom – This is the guy whose ass you need to kick.
10. Would You Work for This Guy? – He doesn’t want to sound like an ass…but he is one.

Post from: EveryJoe

The Craislist Curmudgeon’s Top 10 Posts of 2007

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Confusery

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This one’s rather odd. Is someone looking for ideas or is someone looking for bloggers?

BLOGGERS WITH SOLUTIONS




Reply to: solutionsinlamery@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-21, 12:05PM EST

Got some good, practical ideas on how to improve the world one town at a time? Send us some ideas for a blog site that’s self-sustaining and focused on solutions.

What would it take for you to contribute blog ideas to a solutions-based site that potentially could raise money for you and your local or global causes?

Please send emails with any ideas or questions.

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Is this person looking to start a blog network but doesn’t know how and is therefore asking others to send their ideas? And what does he mean by self-sustaining? Does he mean he wants it to earn money but doesn’t actually want to work at it?

I get that he wants to find solutions for all that plagues the earth, but that’s all I get.

Post from: EveryJoe

Confusery

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