– Obama Tells Cheney To Stop Talking Like Somebody’s Grandmother –
Former Vice President Dick Cheney suggested President Obama “do what it takes to win” in Afghanistan. Which is some pretty strange advice, given the fact the U.S. hasn’t “done what it takes to win” any conflict in the last 50 years.
Cheney also chastised the Administration and said, “The White House must stop dithering while America’s armed forces are in danger.”
In a brief reply, the White House suggested Cheney “stop talking like somebody’s grandmother” and “tend to his own knitting.”
In a wide ranging interview, the former Vice-President also said he …read more

– Blog Action Day 2009 Mobilizes Bloggers In Biggest Waste Of Online Time Since Computer Solitaire –
Has there ever been a more ridiculous time sink than the amount of money, press coverage and trampling of individual choice associated with worrying about global warming?
If someone can point it out to me, I’d love to hear about it.
Take a step back and try to imagine any other reason why reasonably sane people would sit by and consider any one of the following scenarios as a normal, everyday occurrence:
– Allowing the government to make your purchase of big screen TVs illegal
– Having some …read more

– Blogger’s Wife Captures Coveted Prize For Groundbreaking Work Proving ‘The More You Spend the More You Save’ –
For the second time in less than a week, the world was shocked at the Nobel Prize Committee’s selection of a winner of one of its annual awards.
Last week’s surprise was Barack Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize for pretty much just being a likable dude as he beat out Matt Damon, Tom Brady and former American Idol contestant David Archuleta.
This week, Dr. Mrs. Jabo (wife of famed humor blogger, Mark Jabo) won the Nobel Prize in Economics for her groundbreaking …read more

– Space Agency Puts On Show of Strength To Warn Congress Not To Cut Funding –
NASA has finally settled on the target for the missile it plans to launch into the surface of the moon this Friday. The agency has announced it will send its “lunar impacting probe” into the crater Cabeus A near the moon’s south pole.
The purpose of the LCROSS bombing mission is to determine whether there is sub-surface ice on the moon and also to scare the crap out of any members of Congress who might be considering cutting funding of the space agency.
Discovering sub-surface ice is …read more

– Mercedes Sosa, ‘The Voice of the Voiceless Ones,’ Passes At Age 74 –
The Washington Post described Mercedes Sosa as “an electrifying voice of conscience throughout Latin America for songs that championed social justice in the face of government repression…”
That characterization comes as close as any to encapsulating the magic and influence Sosa embodied in her life. She was a performer of immense power, passion and sensitivity.
May she rest in peace.
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La Negra, The Voice of Latin America
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An English translation of one of Ms. Sosa’s most famous songs, Gracias A La Vida (Thank You To Life):
Thanks to life, …read more

– U.S. City Was First City Eliminated From Contention As Europeans Diss Obama, Support Polanski –
The International Olympic Committee didn’t even make the pretense of giving Chicago serious consideration for the Olympics as the city was eliminated in the first round even before Tokyo and it’s bat-shit crazy governor who thinks the world’s going to come to an end after the 2016 Olympics.
The worst part about the committee eliminating Chicago is now we’ll have to hear a bunch of Republicans and talk-radio dudes spin this as some kind of failure on the part of President Obama or a reason to …read more

– Tokyo Governor Warns 2016 Olympics Could Be Last Due to Global Warming –
The governor of Tokyo, the largest city in the world, had this to say on the eve of the vote where his city was considered one of the finalists to host the 2016 Olympic Games:
“It could be that the 2016 Games are the last Olympics in the history of mankind .. Global warming is getting worse .. We have to come up with measures without which Olympic Games could not last long.”
Tokyo was officially eliminated as a potential Olympic site due to the fact their governor is …read more

– TNT Is Catchy Acronym For Traits Suicide Bombers Have In Common –
Newsweek has finally unlocked the puzzle of what makes suicide bombers tick — other than that homemade timer strapped to their chest.
According to a recent article Newsweek says all terrorists share the same three common traits: testosterone, a narrative fantasy and a desire to make theater.
Which means we should immediately arrest Nathan Lane.
Somebody at Newsweek must have had their Thesaurus out all night, too. Because, at the end of the day, shoe-horning the three traits into phrases which could then be used to form an acronym which …read more

– Little Kids Taught To Sing Praises to Obama Stunned By Prez’ Plan For Longer School Hours –
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Barack Hussein Obama.
Equal work means equal pay.
He wants a longer school day…
Hey! Wait! What the hell?! We didn’t sign on for that…
Call it an introduction to politics. Less than a week after singing the praises of their leader, the kids of Bernice Young Elementary School expressed outrage at the Administration for advocating a longer school day.
“The way it was explained to me,” one youngster said, “You’re supposed to get special favors when you come out and support the …read more

– Cross-Dressing Mayor Inspires New Lyrics For ’70s Disco Hit –
East Cleveland Mayor Eric Brewer is not only photogenic, he’s also the inspiration for a re-working of the classic Rod Stewart hit, Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?

Let’s call it Do Ya Think You Can Elect Me?
Eric sits alone, waiting for the vote count,
He’s so nervous, wond’ring how the pictures got out,
His lip gloss is dry, his outfit’s so revealing
It’s hard to imagine what the hell he was thinking.
If you want my body and you think I’m sexy
Come on, sugar, vote for me.
If you want your mayor to be so very …read more