Let’s see what happens when I blog with a fever of 101. Magic, I’m sure.

Sorry the blog has been so scarce this week; on top of internet connection issues (sort-of resolved), I’ve caught Captain Trips (unresolved). I don’t understand how I can possibly feel so cold when my body’s burning and I’m submerged in a hot bath. On the plus side, when you get chills in a hot bath, the water beads up on your skin and it is keen.

So I’m afraid today’s update will be second-hand, but no less entertaining. It’s by Wardox, a fellow writer I’ve encountered in my travels as a mushishi.Five Reasons Why LittleBigPlanet Is Creepy.

Between Sackboy’s willingness to die for his creator and the zombie-party atmosphere of LittleBigPlanet, The list doesn’t discuss what dark secrets are possibly coiled behind Sackboy’s zipper. That’s something I’ve wondered myself.

But the list brings up another, slightly scarier point: the sunny world of LittleBigPlanet will let strangers dive deep into our psyche. People thought you were enough of a dick when you made that David Koresh Mii. With the detailed world of LittleBigPlanet, what will you unwittingly reveal about yourself?

2. [Sackpeople] live inside our imagination and dreams

An innocent enough proposition until you have a think about what your imagination often presents you with. All those private thoughts you have. The more I dwell about this, the less I realised I want a little brown bag running around, over and under my most intimate ideas.

Time to set some ground rules with Sackboyo and designate a “private time” for your thoughts.

(Sackboy copyright Sony. Image source: Negative Gamer.)

Post from: EveryJoe

5 Reasons Why LittleBigPlanet is Creepy

Oh, foreigners. When we’re not laughing at you, we’re laughing with you. You validate our corn-fed, consumerist existence.

Post from: EveryJoe

Foreign Game Ad Lifts My Blackened Heart

Now isn’t this just pretty. It’s a rubber band gun based on Metal Gear Solid’s Silver Wolf.

It can fire ten rounds. The power is admirable. There’s a safety, but who the hell wants a safety?

Laser-targeting. Flashlight.

I want to steal this and go back in time to grade three. I know a few boys who will feel my time-travelling sting.

Post from: EveryJoe

Metal Gear Rubber Band Gun Will Kill You With Awesome

How does your significant other feel about you dressing up as Sackboy in the sack? Terrified? Good!

An English web designer by the name of Adam (hey, that’s my brother’s name) has published a full guide for anyone adventurous enough to dress up as Sackboy from the upcoming LittleBigPlanet.

Now, be sure to give your Sackboy costume a great big smile. Adam kindly reminds us that a warm smile is part of Sackboy’s personality:

“Sackboys are extremely cute little characters and a big part of that is their wide, expressive mouths.”

Of course, God loves creativity, so here’s what I suggest.

If you don’t happen to like any of your neighbourhood children, consider leaving the knife in Sackboy’s half-formed mouth before you don your new mask. The knife should puncture you, possibly in the cheek, and your own blood running down your neck will surely delight the little scamps on Halloween.

Bonus points if your eyeball is punctured and blood mingles with ocular fluids.

Think of the fun you’ll have!

Post from: EveryJoe

Frighten Your Dog: Make Your Own Sackboy Costume

Needless to say, that’s probably not the case. The shelfmonkeys at Best Buy probably weren’t paying attention and a casualty of hope happened.

Look on the bright side: Hannah Montana is coming out for the Playstation 2 in August, too. Who needs Shinra and Sephiroth and epic battles when you can sing the day away, or whatever it is that Montana does?

(Image copyright Nintendo)

Post from: EveryJoe

Hey Look, it’s Final Fantasy VII!…Psyche.

E3’s done, the circus animals have been packed up, the fairgrounds are abandoned and nobody knew that an irritable game reviewer from Australia had played the most important role of all. Nobody was with him when he died.

Actually, Yahtzee’s alive and well and as curmudgeonly as ever. This week, he goes over E3’s offerings.

A lot of what was shown at E3 is worth making fun of, so it’s no surprise that this is one of Yahtzee’s finest videos.

Maybe I’ve hit the lithium too hard, but I don’t believe we’re living in a necessarily uncreative time. Yeah, the NES had game concepts like chefs armed with velociraptors and stickbugs, but we had a lot of crap as well. What’s more, the amount of 8-bit garbage on American shelves couldn’t hold a candle to what Japan endured.

I believe that all life is a cycle and it won’t be long before someone comes up with something brilliant. Wait for it, my sons (and daughters).

Post from: EveryJoe

Yahtzee Comments on E3’s “Trailer Park”

The game industry remains competitive. It’s not a Church picnic footrace where everyone can be told “Hooray, you’re a winner!” just for participating. Nevertheless, things don’t feel as fierce as they used to be; Sony and Microsoft aren’t exactly one-trick companies and Nintendo prints money. There’s no jaded Atari owners to win back. The game industry is stable. We are in an era where developers and companies can confidently compliment each other’s product.

But Kaz Harai is still wearing his battle gear and hiding in a foxhole. Will someone please bring the poor guy up to speed?

In an interview with Swedish daily Aftonbladet, Harai said he’d rather take a bullet than port an exclusive Xbox 360 title to the Playstation 3. Does he really hate life that much?

Aftonbladet: If you had to choose ONE exclusive Xbox 360 title and launch it for the PS3 instead, which game would it be?
Hirai: I don’t think I have to choose any…..
Aftonbladet: You have to pick one.
Hirai: Again, I don’t think I have to pick one because we have such a fantastic lineup of games.
Aftonbladet: But if someone is holding a gun to your head and you have to choose one. Which game would it be?
Hirai: Okay.. then they have to shoot me, because I really don’t think we need any.

Wow, I don’t think I even saw things get this extreme during the heydey of the SNES/Genesis wars.

Tip for Sony: a muzzle is never a bad investment.

(Image from Superstock.com)

Post from: EveryJoe

Kaz Hirai Would Rather Get Shot Than Have 360 Exclusives

Looking at that Age of Mythology banner on the photo of the LA Convention Center reminded me of the days of my Internet youth. I was a big fan of RatherGood and b3ta, which pretty much affirms I am indeed brain-damaged.

Anyway, when Norse warriors die, they go from Age of Mythology to halal donair emporiums. Rock your children to sleep knowing that this is true and that all is good in the world because of it.

Oh, NSFW if your boss isn’t into awesome Brit swears.

Post from: EveryJoe

“Alright our Odin.”

It’s nearly forty degress celcius with the humidex and our apartment has no air conditioning. And yet, our cat (Cammy) is sleeping on the nice warm external hard drive.

I just…I just don’t understand.

Looks like E3 has melted and dribbled away like the White Witch’s winter before Aslan’s roar. Was it good for you? It was certainly…an event.

Let’s begin a long and numbers-choked summary of what went on at the press conferences.

Oh, it’s Saturday. Let’s just look at funny movies.

David “Solid Snake” Hayter says “Crab battle!?” on Evil Avatar Radio:

Never seen the original Crab Battle? You oughta.

For the Guitar Hero III lovers out there (not me, as I’ve recently discovered), here’s Through the Fire and Flames on MarioPaint composer.

La la la Evil One, fiddle-de-dee Shores of Hell.

(Image from Superstock.com)

Post from: EveryJoe

“Lookit All This Cool Shit” Saturday

Ah, the life of an assassin. The achingly lonely hours with just you and your jars of pee fermenting in sun-baked close quarters. The whistle of the wind as you peer down from your watchtower and dole out judgement with the aim of God. And the constant arguments with your parents over your career choice. So what if they wanted you to be a doctor? I mean, one job calls for you to help people and the other demands you kill them. They’re sort of on the same level in a philosophical sense: light means nothing without darkness, you know.

Post from: EveryJoe

“I’m not a crazed gunman, Dad, I’m an Assassin.”