I was kind of in and out of last night’s ECW show. It seemed very boring and I was busy in a Skype meeting during the show too so that took some attention away from it. Anyway, here is last nights recap of wins and losses.
Jack Swagger wins over Lenny Lane via Tilt-A-Whirl Powerbomb.
Mike Knox beats Tommy Dreamer after Tommy charges Knox but misses and hits the ring post (You’d think they’d pad them by now, right?) and Knox finished the mathc with his reverse spinner STO.
The Miz, John Henry and John Morrison defeat Matt Hardy, Riocky Ortiz and Evan …read more

ECW Results and Commentary
Matt Hardy watches while Mark Henry bends wrought iron
Randy Ortiz def. Chavo Guerrero by DQ
The Miz and Morrison def. Finlay and Hornswaggle
After the match Mike Knox beats up on Finlay
Matt Henry def. Colin Delaney

What’s different about seeing matches in person and watching them on TV? Let see if we can find twenty ways.
1. The announcers have their own elaborate entrances! Well, except for Todd Grisham because he is new. We wonder what Mike Adamle’s theme music was. It’s not like Northwestern University has a marching band, a theme song, or a good sports program like JR’s …read more

ECW Results followed by Pleasant Narrative
served by picapp.com
New (XXXL) ECW Title belt given to Mark Henry and his sidekick Tony Atlas while Colin Delaney explains his Great American Bash actions
Tommy Dreamer def Colin Delaney
Evan Bourne def. James Curtis
Newcomer Ricky Ortiz brings up marketing ideas
Matt Hardy pins to one of the following three to def. Finlay, The Miz, and Morrison in a Fatal Four-Way
Pleasant Narrative:
The standard WWE intro montage of past professional triumphs comes on and I’ve returned for another night of grappling. In the upper left corner reads a TV-PG rating for violence. TV-PG for the Land of the Extreme!?!?!? …read more

Click F5 for updates
Match Number Eight
Triple H vs. Edge
for the WWE Championship
Triple H Wins
A WWE phone poll says 55% have more sympathy for Edge while 45% side with Vickie. We can’t believe that many people are with Vickie. Really surprising. Another Eve Torres moment…
…
…
Where were we? Edge comes out with nearly as much greasy wet hair as his opponent. The greasy hair gap has been closed. Edge to Edge. The bell rings and Edge rushes at him with the intensity of a woman scorned. Triple H easily eschews his impetuousness and starts the assumed beat down.
The entire front row has …read more

Great American Bash Predictions
***

Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer
for the ECW Championship
I have more of a chance joining the WWE writing staff than Dreamer has of winning the ECW championship. Henry should take him down with his typical ennui-inducing ring power act. expect a lot of sweat and lots of confident cackling from Henry and Tony Atlas.
Mr. JandG pick: Mark Henry
Mrs. Jand G pick: Mark Henry, unfortunately
Odds: Henry -9,900; Dreamer +9,900
Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
for the SmackDown Divas Championship
The most shocking news I read this week: Michelle McCool is dating The Undertaker. Are you kidding me? Some undead guys have all …read more

ECW Results and Highlight Narrative
Mark Henry and Tony Atlas bend frying pans
Mike Knox def. Shannon Moore
Evan Bourne def. Chavo Guerrero
The Hardy Boyz def. Miz and Morrison
Image details: On A Bender served by picapp.com
Who is excited about tonight’s Hardy Boyz versus The Miz and Morrison? Both Mr. and Mrs. JabandGrapple.com. Mr. JandG is excited to see the high flying death defying world’s greatest super tag team of all time in their maybe last match EVVVVEEERRRRR. Mrs. JandG says “whooo hoooo. this is a match for the ladies. 3 1/2 hot guys fighting. Why can’t they do this every week?”
I’d like …read more

ECW Results and Highlights
Matt Hardy, Finlay, and Hornswaggle def. The Miz, Morrison, and Chavo Guerrero
Atlas Ortiz def. Armando Estrada
Mark Henry vs. Colin Delaney
Image details: Coachella Valley Music And Arts Festival 2008 – Day 2 served by picapp.com
As we all know, ECW got the serious short end of the WWE Draft stick. Here’s a summary:
Wrestlers (of note) Lost: CM Punk (now WWE Heavyweight Champ); Kane; Kofi Kingston (now Intercontinental Champ); Shelton Benjamin.
Wrestlers Gained: Matt Hardy; Mark Henry; Finlay; Hornswaggle; Super Crazy.
What that means is that I’ve lost four of the seven reasons I watched ECW. The other three being The Miz, …read more

I live blogged this thing. So read in reverse, natch.
***
I think that’s finally it. Fingers crossed. It is. Phew.
RAW get Kofi Kingston
Rey Mysterio gets a high flyer to fight. I’m ecstatic about this swap. Turns out someone has been watching Kofi’s impressive ECW performances these last few weeks.
RAW get Layla
This supplemental draft is longer than the NFL draft. Had I known I would have split this into two posts.
Image details: Performance-Enhancing Supplements Make For Big Business served by picapp.com
SmackDown get Carlito
Please let this mean that Santino Marella is shifting brands as well. It doesn’t.
ECW get Finlay
The writing should have been …read more

WWE Draft 2008
Tonight’s bouts will match-up two brands against each other. The winner gets the draft pick. More importantly, the Guy at Ringside Dressed like Hulk Hogan that was at every Michigan show a few months ago is back in the front row tonight in San Antonio!
Oh, and the Million Dollar Madness password tonight is Night of Champions.

Match/Draft Pick #1
Triple H (RAW) vs. Mark Henry (SmackDown)
Henry gets the most of Triple H for most of this match but there’s no way the WWE Champion is going to lose this one. And he doesn’t. He hits the “World’s Strongest Man” …read more

Vickie Guerrero Must Be Stopped Part Two
Segments and Matches covered in Part Two:
Edge talking with Chavo Guerrero
Michelle McCool def. Layla El
A wedding planning Vickie Guerrero summons ref Charles Robinson to her evil lair
Vladimir Kozlov def. Jamie Noble
Kane def. MVP
How many ways did Vickie Guerrero take advantage of her situation on tonight’s SmackDown. How many horrible things did she do over the span of two hours. Let us count the ways and rate the level of badness from Bad to Really Really Really Really Bad.
Click here for Bad Things #1 through #6.
Click Here for Bad Thing #12 through #16.
Click Here for …read more