5. WipEout HD

Racing games are great when you only have a short amount of time to play. You can squeeze in a race or two in no time, especially in a game as fast as WipEout HD. The only problem is that one race can quickly lead to five, which then leads to you forgetting to pick up the kids from school. Woops!

4. Mega Man 9

Old-school gaming is great, because the game mechanics are easy to grasp, but hard to master. And though Mega Man 9 is a brand new title, it brings that same old school mentality–not to mention delightfully pixelated 8-bit graphics. The best part about playing MM9 with limited time is that you can get a lot out of only a few minutes of play. In 10 minutes time you can die upwards of 14 times.

3. flOw

If you aren’t in the mood to get frustrated dying a few dozen times, you may want to try a more relaxing experience. Enter flOw. This aquatic life simulator combines soothing tones and subdued visuals for what amounts to a truly unique experience. It’s not so great for long sessions, but in short bursts can be perfect for a gamer plowing through all of  AAA holiday releases.

2. PixelJunk Eden

 A step up from flOw challenge wise, Eden is still a very chilled out experience, only with a little more game behind it. You collect pollen in order to open up new areas, which are accessed by swinging and jumping off of plants. The game also features a beautiful abstract aesthetic that is perfect from getting away from the photorealistic look of most modern games.

1. Everyday Shooter

There’s nothing like a twin-stick shooter to freshen you up before moving onto the next big, time-consuming game. Unfortunately, most of them can be frustratingly hard. What’s great about Everyday Shooter is that it is very accessible, so that you don’t have to spend lots of time memorizing enemy patterns or learning how to use multiple weapons. It’s just a straight up shooter, that happens to sport some of the most unique graphics on the PS3, not to mention one kick-ass soundtrack.

Don’t forget to check out last weeks Top 5 Reasons to Keep Your PS2.

Post from: EveryJoe

The Top 5 PSN Palette Cleansers

Oh come back, I love you anyway. I just thought you might like to see GameTrailers’ video review for Mega Man 9. Just in case you’re, y’know, undecided. I’ve said it before, but I like GameTrailers’ review narrative.

Get ready for the shortest “Story” category summation you’ve seen in a long time.

Post from: EveryJoe

GameTrailers’ Mega Man 9 Review

Okay, so technically this game isn’t available on PSN yet, but I turned traitor and purchased the WiiWare version.

Oh, you know you did the very same.

Mega Man 9 roll call! Which robots have you whomped so far?

My husband and I are working together on this project, and he’s basically been the chief executioner. I’ll be willing to say as much under oath when robots are our masters and humanity is tried for war crimes, one by one. I welcome our metallic overlords.

Among the dead are Galaxy Man, Splash Woman and Jewel Man. Have I inadvertently given away which weapons work on which robot masters? Probably not.

Tornado Man’s stage is giving us the most grief, but otherwise we’ve glimpsed the three-coloured mugs of every other ‘bot in the game, even if we couldn’t ice them.

Well, what can I say about Mega Man 9 that hasn’t been said more coherently (and probably without a hangover) by other sites? Particularly Jeremy Parish’s’s’s? Regardless, I’ll try.

1) I was actually expecting the game to look more primitive. Mega Man 9 isn’t on par graphically with Mega Man 4 or Mega Man 5, but the robot master stages look pretty distinct from one another and I kind of like the background going on in Galaxy Man’s stage.

2) Just like Ritz crackers taught Harrison Ford to live again in Regarding Henry, Mega Man 9 is teaching me how to swear again. I was seriously in danger of going clean. Whew. Thanks, Mega Man. Go fuck a robo-ram.

3) My first Mega Man game was Mega Man 3. I remember fumbling awkwardly through the stages, playing them over and over in hopes that I had the right weapon for the Boss this time…and getting a little better each time I tried. Playing Mega Man 9 brings me back to that time. It makes me feel like I’m 11 again. I haven’t felt this way since…well, I was 11.

4) Every Mega Man game needs its Metal Blade. Thanks, Laser Trident.

5) Trial and error, trial and error, trial and error. You make a mistake and die, it’s your own fault you naughty monkey. Learn the patterns.

6) All that said, I did not expect us to have three robot masters cleared already. I’m coming to rescue you, Dr Light! Guard your cornhole ’til then.

Post from: EveryJoe

A Beautiful Day in the Mega Neighbourhood

Mega Man 9 nears release! Playstation 3 owners, get equipped with September 25th.

“Oh thank God, maybe she’ll finally shut up once this is all done.”

That’s what you think, ignorant background voice!

First, IGN has a review of Mega Man 9 up. I’m going to go ahead and say it’s the first one of its kind. I’m also going to say that it’s going to cause a big stinky stink because it brands the graphics with a 3/10. Never mind that Inafune and his team set out to do something very specific here and that they fully accomplished it, according to the reviewer. Just take your perfectly logical 3/10 and get out.

More Mega under the mega jump. Might be a little spoilerish.

For a nominal fee, you can download and play as Mega Man’s badass brother, Proto Man. He seems to be a good option for wussies like me who will miss their charge shots and slides; he’ll have all that and more. Also, his shield will block small shots as usual and it will function as a sled! Wheee!

(Image copyright Capcom)

Post from: EveryJoe

Your Mega Round-Up Before the Big Day

Hey, lookit what I wrote.

It’s a summary of the Mega Man series and why Mega Man 9 will hopefully be a fresh new start for the Bloo Bomber. It’s…pretty ironic when you think about it.

This article sent me back to some of my old fandom haunts to perform necessary Drama Control. People sure take stuff seriously. Talk about a good way to die early.

I made a small comment about how Mega Man was “too busy playing Power Ranger dress-up” to trash killer robots in Mega Man ZX, which was instantly taken to mean I hate Mega Man ZX. I don’t. I enjoy it. But anyone who doesn’t think that people are partially excited for Mega Man 9 because it’s so blissfully uncomplicated is out of their tree. People love nostalgia. More than ever, they want to be taken back to their childhoods. Model X and Model Z doesn’t take anyone back to their childhoods, unless they had an alphabet block fetish.

I love the Mega Man series. I always have and I always will. I will be screaming about Mega Man’s latest victory against Wily when I’m senile and on my death bed. But that doesn’t mean he’s immune to criticism. Lord, no.

Mega Man knows he’s not perfect. He wouldn’t want you to die early of stress, defending him from toothless old women like myself. Please, think of Mega Man.

Post from: EveryJoe

In Summation: The Mega Man Series

1) Did Zero really “kill” the [Light] family between the events of the Classic Mega Man and X series?

KI: No, Zero did not kill them. According to the way I created him, Zero is not such a person–it is not in his profile.

And the dreams of a thousand Mega Man fanfic writers spiraled to earth, charred, like the failed flight of Icarus.

Keiji Inafune, Mega Man’s creator (who is as cheek-pinchingly adorable as the little blue Astro Boy offshoot he designed) has a small Mega Man-related interview up at Capcom Unity, Capcom’s fan forums.

Gasp at his inspirations! Marvel as he’s asked about Mega Man Legends 3 for the fiftieth time!

Did you miss out on your opportunity to pitch “Tits Man” to Nintendo Power Magazine’s Robot Master contest? You might get another crack at your dream (just don’t propose “Crack Man.” That shit’s my idea).

9) If there are more MM games, is there any chance you will revive the Robot Master community contest where people submit their own Robot Master designs?

KI: If Mega Man 9 becomes a big success and we were to make Mega Man 10, I think our activities with and connectedness to the fans through the internet mean we could certainly bring back this contest.

Ooh! Ooooh! Hey, who stole my pencil crayons?

(Image copyright Capcom)

Post from: EveryJoe

Interview With a Robot Master: Keiji Inafune

That’s my husband narrating, so be especially nice to him. Or I’ll poke yeh in the eye, like.

Post from: EveryJoe

A Totally Non-Biased Mega Man 8 Retrospective

Capcom’s launching a marketing blitz for Mega Man 9. Aside from terrible T-shirts, aspiring Blue Bombers can expect to equip themselves with E-Tank energy drinks. If Red Bull gives you wings, E-Tanks give you Leaf Shield.

You can see why I never got into marketing.

From Siliconera:

This month in Japan you can buy a Rockman E-Tank Sports Drink for 137 yen ($1.25). The can even looks like an energy drink so it’s easily identifiable in the vast soft drink space at convenience stores.

Let’s not fool ourselves: this is going to taste horrible. The only energy drink I’d belt down for the taste is Sobe Adrenaline Rush, which has a pleasant fruity flavour. Everything else in the Liquid Death aisle tastes like windshield fluid and acid. I expect an E-Tank would taste like gasoline, plasma and/or WD-40. Yum!

(Glorious E-Tank Lego work courtesy of Lwelyk’s Legos.)

Post from: EveryJoe

Power Up With Mega Man E-Tank Energy Drinks

My Playstation 2’s been getting a lot of exercise lately, thanks mostly to the late acquisition of Mega Man X Collection and Mega Man Anniversary Collection. I consider the latter to be vital training in these last days leading up to the release of Mega Man 9.

Oh God, what happened to my lightning-sharp reflexes? What’s become of those summers I wasted away in front of the idiot box? Was it all in vain? If I can’t beat Mega Man 2 in normal mode, it only means Mega Man 9 is going to cook me for breakfast.

As for presentation, why hasn’t the entire staff of Atomic Planet been lined up and shot like dogs bit by sick weasels? Mega Man Anniversary Collection is put together pretty shoddily. A game mascot who survived twenty years and is headlining one of the most anticipated games of the holiday season deserves a bit better.

Okay, we don’t have to kill the staff of Atomic Planet for the Mega Man Anniversary Collection, but they deserve a stern talking-to. The menu interface is bland, for starters: someone couldn’t think of a better idea for game selection than Mega Man walking slowly from grey door to grey door?

Mega Man one through six contains a “Navi” mode that actually adapts Rockman Complete Works, six games released individually released in Japan. Navi mode contains some remixed music and the option to get hints from Mega Man’s pals to get past sticky situations. This is admittedly a cool feature, but the translations are terrible; Roll uses funny words normally heard out of stroke patients, or, I imagine, robots on the verge of breaking down.

One bit of nonsense that Atomic Planet can’t be blamed for is the choice of navigators for each game. Protoman navigates Mega Man 3, for instance, but we’re not supposed to know until the end of the game that he’s Racer X Mega Man’s brother. “Hey Mega Man, this is the part where you fight against me!…Oh wait, you’re not supposed to know it’s me. Sorry. Anyway, tell dad to stop fueling me with cod liver oil or I’m not coming home.”

Even better, Kalinka navigates you through Mega Man 4:

“Toad Man’s rain will damage you if you’re not careful. Wait, you’re only on Toad Man? Can you hurry, please? This cell Wily has me in is pretty cold and a rat bit me.”

Mega Man Anniversary Collection is pretty glitchy, besides. My husband was playing Mega Man 2 and Item 2 suddenly dumped him more than once above a bed of nails.

And you cannot adjust the controls. What the fuck. This is more of a tragedy on the Gamecube version, where the jump button is the fire button and the fire button is for the jumping. Atomic Planet couldn’t axe those student-quality animations at the opening of the game and let us fiddle with our controllers?

If you want all your Mega Man in one easy package you could do worse. It all could have been done a lot better, though. Let us ask for Mega Man’s forgiveness and promise to do better in the future.

(Image copyright Capcom)

Post from: EveryJoe

Way Late to the Robot Party: Mega Man Anniversary Collection

Really though, this is the shirt that will draw in the ladies. It’s an intentionally bad tribute to the original Mega Man box art (avert your eyes if you’re sensitive to images of demons). Since the horror is intentional, the black magic works backwards and attracts positive company instead of repelling it.

It’s science. And Ultrasound Graphics Synthesis!

Post from: EveryJoe

Own A Really Bad T-Shirt