Michelle McCool def. Maryse
Brian Kendrick def. Shannon Moore
Edge and Vickie Guerrero ostensibly apologize

Segment Six
Michelle McCool is making her first defense of her Divas Title against French Canadian beauty Maryse. Maryse’s outfits get progressively provocative each week. I am not complaining.

When JR announces her name it sounds like “Maurice” and I think of an very old and very bald male Harrisburg restaurateur who is now probably deceased. Major turnoff. Then Mick Foley calls her a nasty, naughty girl and all bad images are forgotten. Before we get any more illicit zoomed images of Maryse skimpy black vinyl outfit she is caught by a debilitating Brazilian heel hook and taps out.

McCool’s first title defense is successful.

Segment Seven
Vickie is back in her wheelchair. More importantly, she has a new hairdo. OK, it’s not that important, her new straightened hair is not going to make her good looking. Not even Michael Jackson-level surgery could do that. Vickie has heard rumors about the previously mentioned Edge/Alicia Fox conversation and asks Bam Neely and Chavo Guerrero what has been said. Thankfully the two man up and admit nothing. Word, bro(s).

Edge now says he want to apologize to Vickie. We will see.

Brian Kendrick in his new Leonardo DiCaprio-inspired persona (no, really) makes his way to the ring and Mrs. Jabandgrapple audibly gasps, “What (in the world) is that? Isn’t that the jacket from the Bad video?”

Yes. That’s a second Michael Jackson reference in less than 20 minutes. But she is right. Kendrick’s jacket is the most ridiculous thing known to man. One lapel is faux-tiger skin, the other fake jewel studs. The jacket’s back is ripped with three razor gashes as if it were in a battle with Wolverine.

Kendrick pins jobber Shannon Moore with ease. I’ll be the first to say that Kendrick’s relationship with his bodyguard Ezekiel is a little bit weird to me. Just saying.

After the match Vickie, Chavo and Bam discuss Edge’s apology. Vickie doesn’t seem to be that understanding. It is so on.

Segment Eight
Edge saunters down to the ring with his cocky Canadian confidence. He wants his wedding cake and he wants to eat the wedding planner too. Is he really going to apologize. As Vickie is being wheeled to the ring by Chavo a few scattered Philadelphians yell “You suck!”

Mrs. Jabandgrapple wonders, “If she’s such a cripple then why is she wearing stiletto heels?” And you thought the cake comment went too far.

Edge looks his wife in the eye and goes down on his knee to apologize. He tells her that what he’s done is horrible and understands if she can’t forgive him. He says the video didn’t show how many times he tried to say no. Mr. Jabandgrapple hears you dog. He’s been in that situation too much to even mention. Oh, regret. Oh, regret.

Edge echoes Badfinger when he says “I can’t live if living is without you” but Vickie isn’t sympathetic. She’s no Harry Nilsson. Instead she counters with, “Well guess what Mr. Edge. I reinstated the Undertaker. Sorry.”

The crowd erupts. Standing ovation. Spontaneous combustion. Live births. Loving chants. UN-der-TAK-er clap clap clap-clap-clap, UN-der-TAK-er clap clap clap-clap-clap, UN-der-TAK-re clap clap clap-clap-clap.

Edge makes some lame honeymoon proposal. Vickie says “Too bad, so sad. I have a SummerSlam opponent already set for Taker. And it’s you Edge. In a Hell in a Cell Match.” Vickie cackles, Edge cowers, we congratulate. That is a match we want to see.

Post from: EveryJoe

7/25 WWE SmackDown Part Three: The Undertaker Is Back!

Finlay and Hornswaggle def. The Miz and Morrison
Triple H def. Chavo Guerrero
Natalya and Maryse def. Michelle McCool and Cherry

Image details: Flavio Briatore And Elisabetta Gregoraci Wedding Ceremony served by picapp.com

Segment Six:
Will Finlay and Hornswaggle ever stop fighting The Miz and Morrison? Aren’t all four now in ECW? Mick and JR discuss Hornswaggle drinking a Guinness and I’m thinking about ending this live blog early and heading down to my local Irish Bar establishment.

Finlay lands a terrific Celtic Cross on Morrison but The Miz breaks it up. While the ref is tsk-tsking Morrison and telling him to leave the ring Finlay hits The Miz with the shillelagh knocking him out cold. Hornswaggle tags in and flops off the top rope and onto the Real World rebel pinning him one-two-three. Does this mean we’re going to have to see these four fight yet again? We’re afraid so.

***

Hold up. A local commercial for the July 29 ECW/SmackDown event in Hershey, PA says the Main Event is Triple H vs. Edge for the WWE Championship. We…are…so…there.

***
Segment Seven:
Bam Neely stares down HHH and looks like a much more impressive opponent than Chavo. In due time. In due time. Notably, Charles Robinson is back in the ring reffing the match. Apparently his Great Khali-induced head trauma wasn’t so bad after all.

Chavo is doing his best but this match is a heavyweight versus a cruiserweight. HHH hits a Spine Buster, punches Bam Neely, and follows with a Pedigree. Chavo is done. Vickie is some kind of kin. The crowd seems to love The Game. What are we missing? Speaking of cruiserweights, it’s now 9:00 p.m. and we’re about to begin the difficult dance of flipping between boxing and pro wrestling. A personal favorite, Tomasz Adamek, is fighting tonight and we have double duty.

Image details: WWE Smackdown – Sydney served by picapp.com

Segment Eight:
Michelle McCool is so pretty, Cherry not so much. Neither are a match for third generation wrestler Natalya who makes Cherry tapout with a neat sharpshooter and after the match destroys Michelle with a quick snap suplex. During the match Natalya’s partner Maryse just sort of stood around. Let it be known Maryse standing around is fine with me. Jeez Louise she’s something else.

Natalya is a good wrestler and we’d love to see her fight Beth Phoenix. If she doesn’t win the SmackDown women’s title at The Great American Bash then justice hasn’t been served.

Post from: EveryJoe

7/11 WWE SmackDown Part Two: Still No Wedding News

Segments and Matches covered in Part Two:
Edge talking with Chavo Guerrero
Michelle McCool def. Layla El
A wedding planning Vickie Guerrero summons ref Charles Robinson to her evil lair
Vladimir Kozlov def. Jamie Noble
Kane def. MVP

How many ways did Vickie Guerrero take advantage of her situation on tonight’s SmackDown. How many horrible things did she do over the span of two hours. Let us count the ways and rate the level of badness from Bad to Really Really Really Really Bad.
Click here for Bad Things #1 through #6.
Click Here for Bad Thing #12 through #16.
Click Here for Bad Thing #17 through #20

Bad Thing #7) She hasn’t done anything yet. BUT, Edge tells Chavo that Vickie is “going to take care of Charles Robinson (the ref who tossed Chavo from ringside during the Bam Neely-Matt Hardy match).” La Familia really likes to complain about refs, don’t they? Sort of like John McEnroe. (See photo)
jabandgrapple.com comment: What could this mean? Whatever it is it is going to be dastardly.
Level of Badness: Really Really Bad with the promise of being Really really really really bad.

Bad Thing #8) Vickie does some wedding planning between matches and WITHOUT Edge.
jabandgrapple.com comment: This is some really bad timing. Wedding planning must take center stage in your life and cannot be interrupted by work necessities. Also, the fact that she’s not including Edge in her nuptial thoughts indicates that the two are in for a rocky marital future. You must do these things together.
Level of Badness: Really Really Bad.

Bad Thing #9) Vickie summons referee Charles Robinson, tells him that his officiating is “biased” and that he continuously tried to “help the Undertaker”. She notes that even though he’s a single father that he must “experience what it’s like to be a WWE superstar for objectivity’s sake.” He must compete tonight in the ring.
jabandgrapple.com comment: This is definitely a cruel and bad thing. Charles is a hard working man raising kids on his own. He shouldn’t have to face a pro athlete in the ring. Nevertheless he could be facing Colin Delaney and that wouldn’t be so bad at all.
Level of Badness: Really Really Really Bad.

Bad Thing #10) Vickie books Vladimir Kozlov to fight yet another below par wrestler. This time it’s tiny Jamie Noble.
jabandgrapple.com comment: We like Kozlov’s head butt finishing move but he needs to wrestler someone good soon.
Level of Badness: Really Really Bad.

Bad Thing #11) She makes MVP fight Kane.
jabandgrapple.com comment: In Part One we liked this matchup because an MVP-Kane feud would be MVP to ECW in the WWE Draft. Alas, MVP didn’t do so well in this bout and cowardly got counted out for spending too much time outside the ring. After the match Mark Henry put a beatdown on Kane.
Level of Badness: Bad. This match was bad but it wasn’t Vickie’s fault.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

Vickie Guerrero Must Be Stopped Part Two

Friday Night SmackDown, May 30, 2008

Match 5
M.V.P. def. Jamie Noble
and
Match 6
Vladimir Kozlov def. Shannon Moore
It’s hard for me to get excited over either of these two matches. There was zero chance of M.V.P. losing to a man half his size. If he had then his stock would have officially dropped to zero. His boastful shtick, combined with his overwrought sensitivity and constant complaining just isn’t doing it for me. Maybe it’s time for a rebranding.

As far as Kozlov it’s about time he fought someone with a chance of beating him. Every week we get his repetitive and boring bullying act. His tosses and strength may be impressive but we want him to be tested. Maybe Kozlov and M.V.P. should fight. Sadly, odds are they’ll both get jobbers next week too.

Segment Grades: D-

If you really must watch here are the videos:

M.V.P. vs. Noble

Kozlov vs. Moore

Match 7
Michelle McCool def. Maryse
Maryse and Michelle are two beautiful blonde women but they’re not the most athletic or acrobatic of the WWE divas. Michelle takes Maryse out with a Brazilian heel hook submission hold while the jilted Cherry looks on gleefully.

Segment Grade: D

Again, if you must:

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

SmackDown 5/30 Part Five: Are These Fights Really Happening?

In the other title change at the event Matt Hardy defeated MVP with a clean twist of fate to pick up the United States Title.

Kane pinned foe Chavo Guerrero with a chokeslam to retain the ECW championship and Undertaker submitted Edge via gogoplata to keep the heavyweight title.

What repercussions will the title changes have? What fallout will we see from the PPV? Only time will tell though we will have a good indication of what is to come following tonight’s edition of Monday night Raw.

RESULTS

• Triple H def. Randy Orton, John Cena and JBL in a Fatal Four Way Elimination Match (new WWE Champion)
• World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker def. Edge
• Matt Hardy def. United States Champion MVP (new champion)
• Big Show def. The Great Khali
• ECW Champion Kane def. Chavo Guerrero
• Shawn Michaels def. Batista
• 12-Diva Tag Team Match: Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Layla, Victoria and Natalya def. Mickie James, Maria, Ashley, Michelle McCool, Cherry and Kelly Kelly

Post from: EveryJoe

Backlash: Triple H Earns WWE Championship; Matt Hardy Crowned US Champ

Post from: EveryJoe

SmackDown Results (April 11, 2008)