Kofi Kingston def. Paul Birchill
Mickie James def. Katie Lea Birchill

Segment One
New GM Mike Adamle is getting some major heat! A lot more than I ever imagined…then he compares himself to Ronald Reagan and equates the Gipper’s work with Bonzo the chimp to announcing with Tazz. OK, he really compared Bonzo to calling Jeff Hardy Jeff Harvey. I like the Tazz comparison better.

It seems the inept one might be turning the crowd after announcing three title matches on tonight’s show. OK, this isn’t is bad. The first is Batista and John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr. I guess that’s interesting.

Before he can announce another match JBL and Y2J join him in suits claiming they deserve title matches. Yap, yap, yap, yap. Debate, debate, debate, debate.

C’mon Adamle, take some control! This is getting out of hand. He gives a lame compromise: JBL and Y2J vs. CM Punk in a handicap match. If they win they get Punk at SummerSlam, lose then no title match at the Slam. The Adamle era is off to a blah start.

Segment Two
Kofi Kingston is facing Paul Birchill in a defense of the Intercontinental Title, the first of tonight’s championship bouts. Kofi’s impressive athleticism is on display from the get go with some great defensive leaps. Katie Lea Birchill goes ringside to taunt Kofi and Kingston aims a boot to her face which misses.

Kingston gains control of the match with a great series of power moves before he finishes Birchill off with his familiar series of closing moves which culminates with a Trouble in Paradise. Kofi has really stepped his game up and has grown into a good champion.

Segment Three
It’s now Katie Lea’s turn to lose a title match as Mickie James rushes into the ring to destroy the deliciously trashy Briton. James looks good with a Neckbreaker and finally earns the pin after hitting a nice Mickie-DT.

After the match Beth Phoenix blindsides the women’s champ indicating a thankful end to the James-Birchill feud and a restart to the rivalry between the WWE’s best two female grapplers. Good news.

Segment Four
Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix’s love affair is heating up with some TV-PG butt touching and in a post-match segment they discuss SummerSlam with Adamle and beg for title matches. Mike obliges them both: a tag team winner-take-all match between James and Kingston and Phoenix and Marella. Not great, but not bad.

Post from: EveryJoe

8/4/08 RAW Part One: Mike Adamle = Ronald Reagan?

Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes def. Cryme Tyme
This match lasts 12 seconds. I am not kidding. It takes Vince McMahon longer to dial the next Million Dollar winner’s number. She can’t stop telling Vince how wonderful is, how much she loves him, and how she thinks he’s the most handsome person in the world.

Image details: China Celebrates Valentine’s Day served by picapp.com

Paul Birchill and Katie Lea def. Mr. Kennedy and Mickie James
I enjoy all four of these wrestlers but am distracted and disturbed by the crawl reminding us to buy Ted DiBiase’s book, the WWE Kids magazine, WWE Diva ringtones, The Rock’s DVD (I do want that) and to register for next week’s Million Dollar Madness. This lottery farce is continuing next week! Maybe this week’s ratings will be down again and that will end it.

I like Katie Lea as a wrestler despite her tall awkwardness and her second pin in as many weeks of the WWE Women’s champ must mean something. She’s a convincingly vile heel, her myspace tag is dawgkilla, and I think her rivalry with James might have more legs than her “brother’s” saga with Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy has bigger and better things in his future.

Triple H def. Chris Jericho by DQ
Before tonight’s Main Event Frank from New Jersey wins $300K and tells Vince that he loves him. He had to have been prepped.

The match has started and Jericho has a quizzical probing look on his face. He’s trying to solve the puzzle that is Triple H. We suggest hair conditioner. Triple H viciously tosses Y2J into the ring post and Jericho grabs his shoulder. “Is he OK?” we wonder as the newly born match goes to commercial.

He must be. We return to see him put some damage to HHH via a kick to the head, an elbow to the face, and a slam into the steel chair. Jericho’s rage is getting the best of him as he recklessly walks into a HHH clothesline and knee to the face. Has the match turned?

Jericho can’t complete the Walls of Jericho (see left) and is hit with a Double-Edged Spine Buster and then a Pedig…no! Y2J counters but misses with a high risk Lionsault. HHH goes for the Pedigree again but Jericho counters again. The fight is getting good outside of the ring when Lance Cade, of all people, runs into the ring, assaults HHH, and the match is stopped.

John Cena shows up and all four start brawling. This is a disappointing turn of events. In the midst of it all Jericho puts HHH out with a Codebreaker showing what could have happened in the match had Cade stayed out of it all.

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE RAW 6/16 I Love You Vince McMahon

RESULTS
Mr. Kennedy def. Paul Birchill
Mickie James def. Beth Phoenix in a non-title match.
John Cena def. John “Bradshaw: Layfield
Chris Jericho smashes Shawn Michaels’ face into a TV in a Highlight Reel segment
Umaga and Snitsky def. Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes in a non-title match
Cryme Tyme def. Santino Marella and Carlito
Jeff Hardy def. Triple H by count out in a non-title match

COMMENTARY
Was tonight really “all about the money” or were there some good wrestling matches? Before RAW started we had hoped that Vince McMahon would pull out all the stops for this episode. We thought that we’d get near pay-per-view caliber matches and great between-match drama since the stated intention of this Million Dollar Mania show was to bring in new RAW viewers. Were we right?

Once Vince announced the password, WWE Universe, and that he was giving out $200,000 RAW got right into a moderately interesting feud: Mr. Kennedy vs. Paul Birchill. The action was good and the Katie Lea-slapping-Kennedy was cool but I couldn’t get into it as much as we wanted. We were still distracted by whether or not Vince would call.

The next match was more or the same. It was a terrific WWE Divas match between the champ Mickie James and Beth Phoenix, the best women’s wrestler by far. After James pinned Phoenix Melina came out and feverishly attacked the Glamazon. It should have been fun but we were still thinking about the money.

The money-centric theme didn’t change. Either before or after every segment or match Vince gave away money. This consisted of the chairman slowly dialing the phone numbers like your aging grandparent often hitting the wrong buttons and having to start again. There were busy signals and the first callee actually Rickrolled Vince!

As the show went on there seemed to be more and more time dedicated to the giveaways. One especially long segment received a rain of boos and boooo-ring chants from the audience. The chairman’s son-in-law Triple H even derisively called him Monty Hall. Both the excited Oakland crowd and Triple H seemed a little perturbed that RAW had sunk to be all about the money. It should be all about the wrestling, right?

If Jerry “The King” Lawler’s declaration that 1.5 million people signed up for the Million Dollar contest then so far the giveaway must be seen as a failure. Even with the ratings decline RAW still draws more than 1.5 million weekly. The entry number reveals no demonstrative gain; maybe the shows ratings will be up. Up enough to excuse the raw desperation, the pathetic pandering, and the descent of RAW into game show territory? Not in our book.

This should have been a great night of RAW. The matches were great and the performers put in terrific efforts. The wrestling show shouldn’t have had to take a backseat to a glorified lottery.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

Magnificent Matches or McMahon’s Million Dollar Mania?

Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoyed last night’s RAW. However, this month’s community blog post here at b5 media is “The Worst” so I’ll be scouring each match and segment on RAW to determine what was “The Worst”. I’ll also balance it with “The Best”.

Segment winners in italics. At the end of the article we’ll crown our definitive Worst and Best of the June 2 WWE Monday Night RAW.

SEGMENT #1
Triple H, John Cena, Jeff Hardy and Vince McMahon discuss who will face HHH at the Night of Champions.

The Worst Nominees: HHH’s theme music (always bad); HHH making fun of Randy Orton’s broken collarbone; Vince McMahon’s kooky and confusing memory loss gimmick.
The Best Nominees: John Cena’s great stage presence (bringing up Nostradamus, Dr. Emmett Brown, Miss Cleo, and John Edward); Jeff Hardy’s inclusion in the title shot contenders; The Jeff Hardy replica armbands that so many audience members are wearing.

SEGMENT #2
Mr. Kennedy def. Umaga
The Worst Nominees: Paul Birchill cowardly ducking Mr. Kennedy; Katie Lea Birchill’s velvet costume; Birchill’s predictable post-match sneak attack.
The Best Nominees: Kennedy calling William Regal a “little British pansy”; The “I Wish Katie Lea Was My Sister” sign; Lawler’s “Katie Lea must be a fast learner” comment.

SEGMENT #3
Vince McMahon announces his $1,000,000 plans
The Worst Nominees: Vince’s bad acting and disingenuous amazement at the look of $1M; Vince’s increasingly growly voice; The incorrect belief that people need free money to watch the WWE.
The Best Nominees: Vince’s saying that the contest winner had to be an American citizen and that that might be difficult here in Bakersfield, Calif.; Vince correctly calling the WWE a cross-section of America; Vince’s call to bring back past wrestling fans; The class warfare angle “those who insult wrestling don’t get it and look down on you”.

SEGMENT #4
Santino Marella and Carilto def. Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes
The Worst Nominees: Non-title matches; Roddy Piper misuse as time keeper; Roddy Piper’s shirtlessness;
The Best Nominees: King to JR: “The last time you opened up your wallet Ric Flair was voted best newcomer.”; Santino insulting Jimmy Kimmel using gimmicks of other late-night hosts; Change: Cody Rhodes possibly breaking up with Holly and joining other next generation wrestler Ted DiBiase, Jr.

SEGMENT #5
Chris Jericho def. JBL
The Worst Nominees: JBL’s boring wrestling style; Jericho’s weird need to show mercy to his competitors angle; More fake JBL blood.
The Best Nominees: Jericho’s promise to defend the InterContinental Title as much as possible; Y2J’s acrobatics; The crowd’s bloodlust and desire to see more pain inflicted on JBL.

SEGMENT #6
Beth Phoenix and Katie Lea Birchill def. Melina and Mickie James
The Worst Nominees: This match’s abrupt end (I was really getting into it); Katie Lea’s gawkiness; The Mr. Kennedy-Birchill feud overshadowing the good women’s match and Melina-Phoenix feud.
The Best Nominees: Melina’s epic yearning desire to attack Beth Phoenix and her subsquent feverish hair-pulling; Mickie James’ perky acrobatic and excitable style;The beatdown Phoenix puts on Melina.

SEGMENT #7 and #8
Lance Cade def. Trevor Murdoch
John Cena and Mickie James talk in the training room while HHH watches TV in the locker room
The Worst Nominees: Cryme Tyme extraneously eying up the $1M; The WWE’s crashed internet server due to overwhelming $1M applicants; Trevor Murdoch’s singing; The crass Mickie James’ panties joke; HHH’s crotch shot
The Best Nominees: The breakup of a successful tag team and the resulting feud; Their apparent disdain for each other (just wish I could get more excited about this one); The commercial for the forthcoming The Rock 3-DVD set; John Cena and Mickie James do look cute together.

SEGMENT #9
John Cena def. Jeff Hardy for the right to face HHH at the Night of Champions PPV.
The Worst Nominees: A dude from the audience actually made it past the security and into the ring and seriously killed the momentum of what could have been a great match; We love Cena but we wanted new blood going for the title; The mid-match commercial shortened an already shortened match.
The Best Nominees: A dude from the audience actually made it past the security and into the ring and the crowd cheered him wildly; Hardy and Cena showed great professionalism when they visibly laugh at the guy and are forced to delay their match until he’s removed from the arena; JR and Lawler do a great job joking about the ring interloper: The King evokes an image of JR streaking and they reckon the $1M promise has driven the crowd crazy.

The WORST of RAW: Has to be the crass Mickie James panties joke from Segment #8. In Segment #3 Vince talked about how he wanted to bring back people who grew up watching wrestling and for some reason stopped. For me that reason was the unnecessary inclusion of sexual gags and a loss of the 1980’s innocence. If I had been tuning in anew for the $1M that joke might have turned me off for good.

The BEST of RAW: We’ll say the breakup of Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes that was hinted at in Segment #4. We want a change from the stagnant matchups more than anyone and a stable/alliance of second (and third) generation wrestlers like Rhodes and DiBiase, Jr. would be great.

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Monday Night RAW June 2: The Worst

Last night’s WWE Judgment Day PPV turned out a lot like this year’s NBA Playoffs thus far: no upsets, modest levels of excitement, good performances by workmanlike professionals, but ultimately a lackluster show. No titles changed, no blood, and no can’t-miss moments. Although the Y2J - Shawn Michaels match came close.

In fact, if you had looked at the WWE’s own pre-Judgment Day Power 25 rankings you would have known the winner in all four planned singles matches. All the top seeds won.

#1 Triple H defeated #4 Randy Orton
#2 The Undertaker defeated #7 Edge
#3 Shawn Michaels defeated #9 Chris Jericho and
#13 John Cena defeated unranked JBL

In the other singles match Jeff Hardy hadn’t yet been ranked in the Power 25 post suspension. If he had been ranked he definitely would have charted higher than the long-sleeved unitarded stiff MVP. Hardy’s win was no surprise.

Neither were the results from the other two matches where the reigning belt holders – Miz and Morrison and Mickie James – both retained their titles.

So was the $39.95 PPV price tag for Sunday’s event worth it? Considering the WWE storyline, belt holders, and plot are at pretty much the same place they were on Friday I would say no.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Judgment Day 2008 Final Judgment

Match Seven:
Randy Orton vs. Triple H
Cage coming down! Both men climb to the top of the cage and pose. The match starts. Stomp stomp choke hold choke hold headlock headlock punch punch.

Result: Triple H pins Orton and keeps the title.

Match Six:
MVP vs. Jeff Hardy
Surprise match. Big Show vs. Mark Henry evidently isn’t happening.

Result: Jeff Hardy pins MVP.

Match Five:
The Undertaker vs. Edge
Lots of outside the ring action here. Can he legally choke slam Edge if it’s not in technically done “in the ring”? Probably not. Turnbuckle exposed. Can George “The Animal” Steele be far away? Oh no he didn’t! Oh yes he did. Choke slam completed.

Result: The Undertaker defeats Edge but Vicki Guerrero has something to say. She says The Undertaker isn’t a legal champ despite the fact that he has the belt. You can’t win on a count out. This drama has legs.

Match Four:
Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Melina
Good choice following up that tremendous match with the Divas.

Result: Mickie James pins Melina and keeps the belt.

Match Three:
Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels
Michaels knee appears to be fine. Lots of submission attempts and back and forth action. Great work done here. Fun all around.

Result: Shawn Michaels pins Y2J after quickly countering a Walls of Jericho.

Match Two:
John Morrison and The Miz vs. CM Punk and Kane

Result: Morrison pins CM Punk while Kane choke slams The Miz outside the ring. Morrison and Miz keep the WWE Tag Team Title Belt. Good match. Good action.

Match One:
John Cena vs. JBL

Result: Cena pins JBL after a painfully boring 15 minute bout. Let’s hope this PPV event improves.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Judgment Day 2008 Results

Regal comes out and turns the lights off again to a chorus of “Regal sucks” chants. He promises to do the entire show in “internal” darkness, which might not be eternal but makes sense somehow. Mr. Kennedy shows up with a silly amount of facial stubble. Regal reminds everyone that “I will not be disrespected!” and orders Kennedy to fight entire ECW in the main event. We hope he bloodies Kennedy’s lip again. He doesn’t, instead choosing to tell us again that “I will not be disrespected.”

Triple H appears presumably to do some disrespecting. But no, he’s still angry for being disrespected. Very angry. He thinks Regal has “declared war on him” by pulling the plug last week. Regal, of course, informs Triple H that he’s joining Mr. Kennedy in the fight-the-whole ECW match. Sounds a little gimmicky and anticlimactic to us.

The Prelims:
The WWE women’s championship is on the line in a lumberjack match, giving the lovely divas another chance to appear en masse. The ersatz spotted owl exterminators do a healthy amount of outside-the-ring scrapping and camera posing. We love it! When the action focus inside the ring on the Beth Phoenix – Mickie James match we are bored. Mickie James wins with a successful inside cradle.

Paul Burchill and his “sister” Katie Lea are set to face some anonymous Canadian. Regal returns Mike Adamle to the announcer’s booth and Jim Ross is grumpily forced to the sidelines. Luckily the match is over quickly and we don’t have to listen to Adamle for much longer. Did you know Adamle played in the NFL for six years? Hard to believe.

The Build-Up:
Shawn Michaels is forced to team with his half-hearted rival Chris Jericho against WWE Tag Team Champions The Miz and John Morrison. If Regal were to turn the lights off during this match the collective glitter on the four competitors’ pants would sufficiently illuminate the Air Canada Centre. Michaels chooses not to tag during the entire match because of bum knee but it’s his well-timed sweet chin music that send Morrison to the canvas for good. Michaels drags his knee back to the locker room. It’s a wonder he can even walk.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton. Wrestler vs. rassler, exciting vs. boring, jumper vs. stomper, ECW vs. WWE, pale skin vs. baby-oiled tan body, career riser vs. nepotist. It’s a welcome budding rivalry but not that exciting a match. Regal agrees, enters and turns the lights off. Match over.

Highlight of the broadcast so far: a terrific Carlito’s Cantina with Rowdy Roddy Piper and Santino Marella. They trade insults the best being Roddy telling Santino to “get a designated driver.” The segment ends with Cryme Tyme and Cody Rhodes doing a pro-Piper hip hop chant while Roddy does a joyous Irish jig. Hilarious stuff.

Before JBL beats D.H. Smith to a pulp he shows us the inside of his limo, flashes his crotch for a painful 20 seconds or so, calls Canada a toilet bowl, and steps over the line with some repulsive Hart Foundation insults. We didn’t think it was possible but we hate him even more.

The Main Event:
Thirteen (or is it fourteen) ECW competitors proves too much as Chavo Guerrero pins Mr. Kennedy after a Kane chokeslam. Then the fun starts. Triple H starts attacking everyone, the ECW teammates attack each other and then Triple H. A steel chair is brought in, somehow Triple H gets it and starts going wild and then, and then my DVR cuts off because we’ve reached the alotted 9:00 – 11:05 broadcast. ARRRGGGGGHHHH. The show really does go on this time; it’s not a repeat of last week.

Luckily I also watched live and at the DVR-cutoff moment William Regal (presumably) cuts the lights. Again. It’s pitch black in the Air Canada Centre. Chaos, madness, mystery. The lights return and it’s just Triple H and RANDY ORTON! in the ring. Jim Ross asks “Where did Orton come from?” We wonder “where did the entire ECW go?” Orton swiftly RKO’s Triple H and stands over his prone adversary with unconvincing menace. Ross calls him “evil”. Great, great ending.

Post from: EveryJoe

Monday Night Raw: “Before We Turn Off the Lights” Edition

In the other title change at the event Matt Hardy defeated MVP with a clean twist of fate to pick up the United States Title.

Kane pinned foe Chavo Guerrero with a chokeslam to retain the ECW championship and Undertaker submitted Edge via gogoplata to keep the heavyweight title.

What repercussions will the title changes have? What fallout will we see from the PPV? Only time will tell though we will have a good indication of what is to come following tonight’s edition of Monday night Raw.

RESULTS

• Triple H def. Randy Orton, John Cena and JBL in a Fatal Four Way Elimination Match (new WWE Champion)
• World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker def. Edge
• Matt Hardy def. United States Champion MVP (new champion)
• Big Show def. The Great Khali
• ECW Champion Kane def. Chavo Guerrero
• Shawn Michaels def. Batista
• 12-Diva Tag Team Match: Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Layla, Victoria and Natalya def. Mickie James, Maria, Ashley, Michelle McCool, Cherry and Kelly Kelly

Post from: EveryJoe

Backlash: Triple H Earns WWE Championship; Matt Hardy Crowned US Champ