This Post Will Update after every match…

WWE Moday Might Raw Live from Cincinatti, Ohio

Raw starts out with Michael Cole and Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler on commentary. There is a large ladder in the middle of the ring with the belt hanging above it. Chris Jericho makes his entrance and climbs to the top of the ladder in his suit and tie with Microphone in hand. Chant of HBK start up before Jericho begins talking.

He talks about HBK and his how he claims to have revolutionized the ladder match. He calls the fans sheep blindly believing what HBK said. He says just because HBK says something it doesn’t mean it’s real and whenever he says something it the truth and brags about how many more ladder matches he’s been in. He then boasts about how at "No Mercy" the last thing everyone will see is this (Reaching up and removing the Heavyweight championship belt). He then talks about how HBK disfigured him, scarring his back forever but still walked out as champion at the last cage match. He continues to talk his normal B.S. and then Randy Orton’s music starts to play and out comes Orton. Orton comes to the ring while Lawler and Cole talk about the "Age Of Orton" resuming.

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800 may not really sound like a large number in many senses, but for a show that comes on once a week that adds up to well over 15 years. Over 15 years of WWE Raw. It’s been quite a ride too. The ups and downs, Wrestlers coming and going. The real drama behind the scene (and not so behind the scenes). Accidental deaths inside, but mostly outside the ring. The steroid scandals, and even murders. It’s all been a crazy ride and I’m sure if you’re in the business it’s a whole different kind of crazy. But that’s life in general and not always a smooth ride. One thing that is for sure, there will be many more episodes of WWE Raw to come. Although ratings have been slipping lately, "Vinnie Mac" will find a way to turn it around one way or another. That’s what good businessmen do. Love him or hate him, the fact is that Vince McMahon has been doing this long enough to know how to keep the gears turning.

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ECW Results and Highlights

Hornswaggle def. Armando Estrada
Evan Bourne def. Matt Stryker
Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox ended when Shelton Benjamin enters ring
CM Punk def. Morrison

I don’t know why ECW gets a bad rap. This week’s show once again trumped Monday Night RAW in terms of excitement and good wrestling. Heck, it fit the same number of matches into one hour than last night’s show fit into two. FYI, I’m not counting RAW’s 12 second tag team bout as a match. It’s interesting what you can do when you’re not spending the entire show dialing a phone and giving away money.

The Hornswaggle vs. Armando Estrada match featured hilarious Looney Toons-like sequences with Estrada playing the perplexed Sylvester/Coyote/Elmer Fudd to Hornswaggle’s Tweety Bird/Roadrunner/Bugs Bunny. Hornswaggle dropped marbles, he shot super soakers, he broke cigars, and was always just out of reach from his frustrated pursuer.

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Tonight’s password has been revealed on www.wwe.com:

WATCH RAW AND WIN

Technically, that’s more than one word but I won’t mind if Vince’s calls me!

Advance word is that this is the last week of McMahon’s farcical Monday Night RAW Million Dollar Giveaway.

So this could be all out our last chance to WATCH RAW AND WIN.

The password is: WWE Universe.

But you can’t use it unless you have you signed up to win Vince McMahon’s Millions? How do you do that? Just click over to the WWE website, roll your cursor over the ENTER NOW button, and give all your valuable information to the good people from Stamford, Connecticut. Be sure to enter said valuables in the next hour so you can be eligible for this week’s prizes.

Then it’s waiting time. During tonight’s show Mr. Jabandgrapple will be clutching at his Samsung phone, staring at its LCD screen, and hoping its ringtone (only the best song of the 1990’s; any guesses?) starts playing. On the other line will be Vince offering me a fraction of his vast hard-earned wealth. When he calls I will be prepared to recant the secret million dollar password WWE Universe.

What’s the word again? It’s WWE Universe. So if you’re out with your honey and can’t watch the broadcast, just dial up that blackberry, and if you check this url you’ll be ready for your million dollar call because the password is WWE Universe.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Live Blogging Memorial Day Monday Night Raw

Here we go. The epic, historic, amazing Vince McMahon announcement. The entire WWE lineup has emerged from the locker room to hear what the Chairman has to say. How will the announcement “affect ever RAW viewer?”

Vince starts by telling us that there’s going to be another WWE Draft in four weeks. That’s been expected. No big deal there. Where’s the epic-ness, the monumental-ness, the historic-ness?

“It’s all about the money,” Vince begins “I’m going to give away cash money every week.” Oh yeah. Here it comes. We’re so excited. How much? How much? How much? How much?

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Live Blogging Monday Night Raw

The Setup
PWInsider.com has reported that there will be a special announcement tonight on WWE’s Monday Night RAW from none other than the chairman Vince McMahon himself. And here it is!

Vince says he’s giving back to the fans and it’s a BIG IDEA! He’s going to show us appreciation and give us something that’s never happened in the history of television. What could it be?

Vince fades and Triple H appears. Ohmigosh, Jim Ross just said exactly what I said in the above paragraph (starting at appreciation) verbatim. Before Triple H can say a word Randy Orton’s new music comes on and he comes to the ring. They’re facing off on a dual dais talking interview questions about this weekend’s One Night Stand PPV.

Guess what. Orton repeats again how he’s underrated and how he’s not taken seriously.

The trash talking has begun. Triple H has his own thoughts about Orton’s underrated-ness:

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Monday Night Raw Match Five:

Randy Orton and JBL vs.
Triple H and John Cena

The winner of this tag team match determines who faces whom at the next pay-per-view. We’re far too confused at this point. All we know is that The Jab And Grapple Wife loooooooooooooooves John Cena, thinks Randy Orton is cute, despises JBL, and thinks Triple H and his intro is “[wimpy] as hell”. We want the best for Cena and Orton; hopefully JR will remind us who we should be rooting for.

The announcers don’t except to say this match has “graaaaave implications.” Please remind us what they are. Please.

OK. If Orton and and JBL win then they will face the same opponents as Judgment Day. Trust us, no one wants to see those matches again. Everyone in the world is rooting for Cena and Triple and I’d say the chances of them winning are about one million per cent.

JBL hits Cena with a sneaky illegal boot to the head and Orton pins the Prototype for about twenty seconds. The world breathes a sigh of relief because Triple H has distracted the ref.

Heavens no. Orton boots Cena and JBL pins him. We’re having Judgment Day rematches. Unless there’s some drastic switches between then and now I’ve officially decided not to buy.

Match Rating: F

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Monday Night Raw Match Three:

Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Y2J is back in the ring after headlining the best match of Judgment Day 2008. He’s facing Batista a/k/a the best WWE wrestler not to participate in last night’s PPV. He’s tanned, he rested, and he’s ready. The winner will face Shawn Michaels in a stretcher match at the next Pay Per View that we will be tempted to buy but probably won’t. The match has a promising start but Y2J is feigning a knee injury (IRONY ALERT!) and we go to commercial.

We’re back and reminded that there’s no one wilier than Jericho. He ducks a headlong sprint attack from the Animal and Batista harmlessly falls to the outside of the ring. It’s now Batista’s turn to pretend that his leg hurts. Y2J does the requisite “work his supposedly hurt leg and extend the match’s time”.

Y2J is in another doozy of a match. He hits a single-leg Boston crab hoping to torture Batista into submission but the Animal is slowly inching his way to the rope. Full disclosure I’ve always thought that touch the rope = quit the hold thing was wrong.

Jericho hits his own ingenious rope-induced Batista Bomb counter move but is hit with an unfortunate clothesline. The match could go on all night as far as we’re concerned. But it doesn’t. The Animal catches Y2J mid-air in an overly homoerotic position before Batista bombing Jericho into misery and ensuring the three count.

The Heartbreak Kid emerges to stare down his past and future opponents. These three are the best RAW is offering right now.

Match Rating: A

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Monday Night Raw Match Two:

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Diva Melina has already stolen the show. How so. Let us count the ways:
1) She’s done an astounding split in front of JR and Jerry Lawler and then joins them in the announcing booth.
2) Quote: “I will not do Playboy, I’m not that type of girl.”
3) Quote: “I made it through a three way at Judgment Day and I’m still here.”
4) Quote: “Beth Phoenix blows up my phone every time she needs a partner.”
5) Quote: “She knows I’m great at what I do.”

Beth Phoenix puts the lovely Maria into a submission hold but Melina is having none of it. She sprints from her announcing perch to attack Beth. It doesn’t work out. The Glamazon picks her up and slams her proving whose the queen of the Diva world.

Match Rating: B