WWE Moday Might Raw Live from Cincinatti, Ohio

Raw starts out with Michael Cole and Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler on commentary. There is a large ladder in the middle of the ring with the belt hanging above it. Chris Jericho makes his entrance and climbs to the top of the ladder in his suit and tie with Microphone in hand. Chant of HBK start up before Jericho begins talking.

He talks about HBK and his how he claims to have revolutionized the ladder match. He calls the fans sheep blindly believing what HBK said. He says just because HBK says something it doesn’t mean it’s real and whenever he says something it the truth and brags about how many more ladder matches he’s been in. He then boasts about how at "No Mercy" the last thing everyone will see is this (Reaching up and removing the Heavyweight championship belt). He then talks about how HBK disfigured him, scarring his back forever but still walked out as champion at the last cage match. He continues to talk his normal B.S. and then Randy Orton’s music starts to play and out comes Orton. Orton comes to the ring while Lawler and Cole talk about the "Age Of Orton" resuming.

Orton talks about how if it wasn’t for him kicking CM Punk in the head that Jericho would not be champion and that whoever wins at WWE No Mercy will be living on borrowed time. Jericho says he talks a big game that he can’t back it up and he’s a big dreamer, threatening to punch him in the mouth, Talking about how when he hit HBK’s girlfriend it was an accident but with him it won’t be. Orton says he’s talked to Adamle and how he needs protection and that no one is allowed to hit him and how he not allowed to hit anyone else. Orton says that when your a commodity in the WWE you tend to get what you want.

Jericho says he wants to get away from Orton and walks away Orton says when Jericho is long and gone in this industry that he will still be around. Orton tells him to take his ladder with him and throws it out of the ring. To that CM Punk’s music starts to play (Killswitch Engage. I love it) CM Makes his way to the ring and their face-to-face in the ring. CM Punk starts slapping Orton. Orton does not defend himself and General Manager Mike Adamle comes out and tells him to stop it, telling him he "directly defies his edicts" {Edict: a proclamation having the force of law} and he’s suspended. This just get’s crazier. Shane McMahon’s music starts playing and Shane comes out dancing like a fool. Adamle looks a bit surprised.

Shane tells Mike that he knows he’s doing a lot of on the job training and that he’s making a lot of ‘on-the-fly’ decisions but he’s over ruling the suspension of CM Punk and says that in the business that’s called a "receipt". Orton doesn’t like this and get’s in Shane’s face and tell him that Mikes the General Manager and that he doesn’t make the decision, but the edicts that Mike Adamle made will go in to effect…right now. Shane asks Orton to leave the ring and tells CM punk that since his adrenaline is pumping that they will start off raw with a match between CM Punk and Codey Rhodes. Shane then announces the main event. Y2J will team up with JBL against Batista and HBK. He starts dancing like a fool again and leaves the ring.

*The rest from here on out will be Match results.

CM Punk Vs. Codey Rhodes: Cm Punk Wins by pin fall. Afterwards Ted Dibiase Jr. and (Some dud I’m not familiar with yet) comes out and jumps Punk. Kofi Kingston comes out and bails out Punk.

–I haven’t followed wrestling nearly enough in the past year because I’m just noticing…Kelly Kelly…is damn cute cute!–

Santino Vs. Santino: Santino tells Batista that if he’s watching that he should take note that he’s going to beat him up like he’s going to "Beat up Fonzie here. The happy Days are over." Santino complains about his face during the match but wins over Deuce by shoulder pin-fall. Santino has become more of a Borat these days.

Evan Bourne Vs. Kane: Kane puts in a great effort but Kane wins in the usualy way. Choke-Slam, 3 count. Kane goes to pick up Bourne again, but Rey Mysterio comes out and start attempting to beat on Kane. Mysterio attempts a spring board off the middle rope but Kane counters with a foot to his chest mid-air and then choke-slams Mysterio and leaves him in the ring and exits.

Beth Phoenix Vs. Kelly Kelly: Santino referred to Beth Phoenix earlier as "The woman who orders me to go buy the contraceptives" Kelly Kelly wins when she attempts to bounce off the ropes and Santino tries to trip her. She turns around and Beth Phoenix trieds to hit her from behind. Kelly Kelly ducks and Phoenix almost hits Santino. Kelly reaches under from behind and pins Phoenix for the win.

Cryme Tyme Vs. The Miz and John Morrison: Miz and Morrison steal the match when John Morrison kicks Shad Gaspard in the back of the head from outside the ropes and The Miz pins Shad Gaspard for the win.

Lance Cade and Jericho are back stage with Mike Adamle. Jericho tells Adamle that Shane McMahon is testing him as a General Manager and doesn’t want a a General Manager that’s going to heed to his every word. Jericho is obviously trying to manipulate Adamle.

Charlie Hass did a "Tribute" to Mr. Perfect, which was more of a disrespectful mockery at Dave and Buster’s.

HBK & Batista Vs. JBL & Y2J: (Lilian Garcia announces that Lance Cade will be added as a 2 on 3 handicap match.) Many unsuccessful pin-fall attempts were made during the match by both teams, but at the end Jericho was in the ring and Cade was the legal man. HBK was trying to go for some "Sweet Chin Music" on Jericho, but Cade hits HBK with a sit-down powerbomb and pins him for the win.

End of WWE Raw’s 800th Episode

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Monday Night Raw Live Coverage Coverage 9/22

I have only found 1 sure match announced for tonight’s 800th episode of Raw, but it’s sure to be an exciting night. ECW’s John Morrison and The Miz will be taking on Cryme Tyme. I be covering Raw live…sorta. I can’t do a play by play because I can’t type that fast, but I will do a match by match result as they go along and we’ll see what else comes about my first Monday Night Raw coverage.

Image Source: http://www.rbccenter.com/resources/images/spotlight/Raw_logo_branding.jpg

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Raw Celebrates 800 Episodes

Hornswaggle def. Armando Estrada
Evan Bourne def. Matt Stryker
Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox ended when Shelton Benjamin enters ring
CM Punk def. Morrison

I don’t know why ECW gets a bad rap. This week’s show once again trumped Monday Night RAW in terms of excitement and good wrestling. Heck, it fit the same number of matches into one hour than last night’s show fit into two. FYI, I’m not counting RAW’s 12 second tag team bout as a match. It’s interesting what you can do when you’re not spending the entire show dialing a phone and giving away money.

The Hornswaggle vs. Armando Estrada match featured hilarious Looney Toons-like sequences with Estrada playing the perplexed Sylvester/Coyote/Elmer Fudd to Hornswaggle’s Tweety Bird/Roadrunner/Bugs Bunny. Hornswaggle dropped marbles, he shot super soakers, he broke cigars, and was always just out of reach from his frustrated pursuer.

Evan Bourne is lots of fun to watch with his Back flips and high flying action. Mike Knox rudely entered the ring after Bourne easily defeated Matt Stryker and put a beat down on the much smaller man. We hope Knox’s actions don’t prove a metaphor for Bourne and his life in the WWE.

The slightly larger and just as acrobatic Kofi Kingston handled Knox well and was about to pin him before Shelton Benjamin entered the ring and scrapped with his hated rival. We’d love to see both Shelton and Kingston drafted up and out of ECW on Monday. They would inject some life into RAW or SmackDown.

The night’s coup de grace was the ten-minute-plus highly technical match between CM Punk and John Morrison. These two have had a long ECW history and they clearly know each other well but this match didn’t have the feel of a tired retread (like Cena and JBL). It was terrific to watch a professionally executed extended match that wasn’t broken up by commercials and wasn’t stopped early by ring interference.

The night ended with the three ECW behemoths Kane, Big Show, and Mark Henry yelling at each other and talking tough. I had almost forgotten that Kane could talk. Even their stupid pose-prominent confrontation couldn’t spoil another great ECW episode.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW June 17: Looney Tunes and Good Wrestling

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Tonight’s password has been revealed on www.wwe.com:

WATCH RAW AND WIN

Technically, that’s more than one word but I won’t mind if Vince’s calls me!

Advance word is that this is the last week of McMahon’s farcical Monday Night RAW Million Dollar Giveaway.

So this could be all out our last chance to WATCH RAW AND WIN.

Post from: EveryJoe

McMahon’s Week Two Million Dollar Monday Night Raw Password Revealed

The password is: WWE Universe.

But you can’t use it unless you have you signed up to win Vince McMahon’s Millions? How do you do that? Just click over to the WWE website, roll your cursor over the ENTER NOW button, and give all your valuable information to the good people from Stamford, Connecticut. Be sure to enter said valuables in the next hour so you can be eligible for this week’s prizes.

Then it’s waiting time. During tonight’s show Mr. Jabandgrapple will be clutching at his Samsung phone, staring at its LCD screen, and hoping its ringtone (only the best song of the 1990’s; any guesses?) starts playing. On the other line will be Vince offering me a fraction of his vast hard-earned wealth. When he calls I will be prepared to recant the secret million dollar password WWE Universe.

What’s the word again? It’s WWE Universe. So if you’re out with your honey and can’t watch the broadcast, just dial up that blackberry, and if you check this url you’ll be ready for your million dollar call because the password is WWE Universe.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

McMahon’s Million Dollar Monday Night Raw Password Revealed

Here we go. The epic, historic, amazing Vince McMahon announcement. The entire WWE lineup has emerged from the locker room to hear what the Chairman has to say. How will the announcement “affect ever RAW viewer?”

Vince starts by telling us that there’s going to be another WWE Draft in four weeks. That’s been expected. No big deal there. Where’s the epic-ness, the monumental-ness, the historic-ness?

“It’s all about the money,” Vince begins “I’m going to give away cash money every week.” Oh yeah. Here it comes. We’re so excited. How much? How much? How much? How much?

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“Each and every week on RAW I’m going to give away $1 Million.”

Then the show ends. That’s it. Huh? That announcement, while appealing, didn’t quite live up to the hype.

I guess a cool million could be cool but what are the details. Is it $1M in the sense of the $20M Floyd Mayweather, Jr. got for Wrestlemania XXIV? Is it $1M in the sense of Ted DiBiase’s millions or M.V.P.’s millions or JBL’s millions? Scratch that, JBL does actually have millions.

We’re guessing that right now the WWE website is being flooded with visitors and explanations so to spare their bandwidth we promise to do our own research at www.jabandgrapple.com and keep you informed on this this site how to make your wrestling viewing worth a lot.

Segment Grade: D The whole pay-you-to-watch gimmick is not nearly as epic as we wanted it to be. That said, if I happen to be the one who wins the million this grade turns into an A++++.

Post from: EveryJoe

Memorial Day Monday Night Raw: The Epic Announcement

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Live Blogging Monday Night Raw

The Setup
PWInsider.com has reported that there will be a special announcement tonight on WWE’s Monday Night RAW from none other than the chairman Vince McMahon himself. And here it is!

Vince says he’s giving back to the fans and it’s a BIG IDEA! He’s going to show us appreciation and give us something that’s never happened in the history of television. What could it be?

Vince fades and Triple H appears. Ohmigosh, Jim Ross just said exactly what I said in the above paragraph (starting at appreciation) verbatim. Before Triple H can say a word Randy Orton’s new music comes on and he comes to the ring. They’re facing off on a dual dais talking interview questions about this weekend’s One Night Stand PPV.

Guess what. Orton repeats again how he’s underrated and how he’s not taken seriously.

The trash talking has begun. Triple H has his own thoughts about Orton’s underrated-ness:

“You’re just a scared little boy in a man’s world. And you think if you come out here every week and say how great you are…that if you just say it enough times then the bad men will go away.”

Orton is mad now. He’s talking trash now between the “You Suck” chants.

“If someone is a threat to you, you either make them your friend or you have them eliminated (from the WWE).”

Triple H says he doesn’t care. “I’m never going away.”

Sadly, wrestling fans everywhere have already steeled themselves to this inevitability.

Orton counters, “I’m going to beat you, Hunter, until you can’t get up. Until I’m the last…man…standing,” and then tries to walk away.

Triple H retorts with “I’m going to beat you ’til you’re an inch away from your life.”

This is all a little overwrought and melodramatic. We’re officially going to quit live blogging until some kind of announcement is actually made.

Setup Rating: C- We’ve already lost some of our One Night Stand excitement.

Post from: EveryJoe

Special Announcement Memorial Day Monday Night RAW

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Monday Night Raw Match Five:

Randy Orton and JBL vs.
Triple H and John Cena

The winner of this tag team match determines who faces whom at the next pay-per-view. We’re far too confused at this point. All we know is that The Jab And Grapple Wife loooooooooooooooves John Cena, thinks Randy Orton is cute, despises JBL, and thinks Triple H and his intro is “[wimpy] as hell”. We want the best for Cena and Orton; hopefully JR will remind us who we should be rooting for.

The announcers don’t except to say this match has “graaaaave implications.” Please remind us what they are. Please.

OK. If Orton and and JBL win then they will face the same opponents as Judgment Day. Trust us, no one wants to see those matches again. Everyone in the world is rooting for Cena and Triple and I’d say the chances of them winning are about one million per cent.

JBL hits Cena with a sneaky illegal boot to the head and Orton pins the Prototype for about twenty seconds. The world breathes a sigh of relief because Triple H has distracted the ref.

Heavens no. Orton boots Cena and JBL pins him. We’re having Judgment Day rematches. Unless there’s some drastic switches between then and now I’ve officially decided not to buy.

Match Rating: F

Post from: EveryJoe

May 19 Monday Night Raw Match Five: The Main Event

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Monday Night Raw Match Three:

Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Y2J is back in the ring after headlining the best match of Judgment Day 2008. He’s facing Batista a/k/a the best WWE wrestler not to participate in last night’s PPV. He’s tanned, he rested, and he’s ready. The winner will face Shawn Michaels in a stretcher match at the next Pay Per View that we will be tempted to buy but probably won’t. The match has a promising start but Y2J is feigning a knee injury (IRONY ALERT!) and we go to commercial.

We’re back and reminded that there’s no one wilier than Jericho. He ducks a headlong sprint attack from the Animal and Batista harmlessly falls to the outside of the ring. It’s now Batista’s turn to pretend that his leg hurts. Y2J does the requisite “work his supposedly hurt leg and extend the match’s time”.

Y2J is in another doozy of a match. He hits a single-leg Boston crab hoping to torture Batista into submission but the Animal is slowly inching his way to the rope. Full disclosure I’ve always thought that touch the rope = quit the hold thing was wrong.

Jericho hits his own ingenious rope-induced Batista Bomb counter move but is hit with an unfortunate clothesline. The match could go on all night as far as we’re concerned. But it doesn’t. The Animal catches Y2J mid-air in an overly homoerotic position before Batista bombing Jericho into misery and ensuring the three count.

The Heartbreak Kid emerges to stare down his past and future opponents. These three are the best RAW is offering right now.

Match Rating: A

Post from: EveryJoe

May 19 Monday Night Raw Match Three: Y2J vs. Batista

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Monday Night Raw Match Two:

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Diva Melina has already stolen the show. How so. Let us count the ways:
1) She’s done an astounding split in front of JR and Jerry Lawler and then joins them in the announcing booth.
2) Quote: “I will not do Playboy, I’m not that type of girl.”
3) Quote: “I made it through a three way at Judgment Day and I’m still here.”
4) Quote: “Beth Phoenix blows up my phone every time she needs a partner.”
5) Quote: “She knows I’m great at what I do.”

Beth Phoenix puts the lovely Maria into a submission hold but Melina is having none of it. She sprints from her announcing perch to attack Beth. It doesn’t work out. The Glamazon picks her up and slams her proving whose the queen of the Diva world.

Match Rating: B

Post from: EveryJoe

May 19 Monday Night Raw Match Two: We Love Melina