EveryJoe » Moronory

How Can You Not Have What it Takes?

Deborah Ng — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:31:54 +0000

They’re not setting the bar very high, are they?

Looking for content writers, see ad for specific subject matter…

Reply to: Lamery@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-29, 6:10PM CST
The areas of subject matter we are currently looking for are as follows
* Advertising and Branding
* Communications
* Database Marketing
* Direct Marketing
* Events Organization
* International Marketing
* Internet Marketing
* Industrial marketing
* Market Research
* Public Relations
* Search Engine Marketing
* Strategic Management
* MLM
* Direct Mail
And if you noticed that there is a centralized theme of marketing, I’m glad, you might just be sharp enough for this gig. We have no particular requirements in regard to education or background(although it would be nice for you to know something marketing), just that you can write articles people want to read. If you think that you’ve got what it takes, e-mail us now for an application,

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: You recieve a % of the ad revenue generaned by your article

But then how could they have high standards when they’re paying the equivalent of nothing? Look at these topics? Marketing, Communications, Public Relations, yet education and background aren’t exactly necessary. They’re a plus but, eh, no big deal. I can’t wait to learn all about marketing from people who don’t know anything about marketing. Should be a riveting read.

Post from: EveryJoe

How Can You Not Have What it Takes?

I Smell a Lawsuit

Deborah Ng — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:39:39 +0000

Oh dear Lord. What have we done.

Write about medicine and improve lives

Reply to: suemyass@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-18, 1:23PM EST
Online medical community needs contributors to write about topics in medicine and health. Apply to be a contributor here: http://medpedia.com/Special:Landing?chapelhill

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: no pay

Though the terms of Medpedia clearly state it’s not offering medical advice, the ad for contributors suggests that writers will “improve lives.” Now, as a writer I know what to expect from Wikipedia. Many non-writers feel it’s the end all/be all of web truthfulness. The same will go for those not offering medical advice medical advice website.

A wiki offering medical advice that’s not medical advice is worrisome. Only people who write web content know how off the mark most of it is. Someone looking for assistance or diagnosis takes anything printed as Gospel. Some people are so desperate to heal thyselves and stay away from the true experts , they would rather take the word of an unskilled non paid web content writer than visit their doctors.

I’m so looking forward to reading what volunteer medical writers are going to write – and how they’re going to improve lives without actually offering advice.

Post from: EveryJoe

I Smell a Lawsuit

Truth in Advertising

Deborah Ng — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 00:37:34 +0000

Now here’s a guy who does, indeed, need help.

WRITER NEEDED TO RE-WITING MY NEW BOOK

Reply to: ALLCAPSALERT@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-26, 6:51PM EST
HI
I AM FINISHING WRITING A BOOK ABOUT CANCER AND HIV/AIDS ALL CAUSES AND NATRUAL CURES WILL BE ON THE MARKET SOON ITS READY TO GO I AM LOOKING FOR A PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE WRITER WITH A DEGREE IN ENGLISH LITERATURE TO RE-WRITE MY BOOK AND CORRECTION
MAKING IT READY TO GO TO PRINT
LIKE TO START RIGHT AWAY
MUST LIVE IN BROOKLYN-OR MANHATTAN
THANKS
DAVID

Location: BROOKLYN-MANHATTAN

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: no pay

Sometimes an ad comes along and nothing else needs to be said. Judging by the above I’d agree this writer is lacking professional experience. I’m not sure an English Lit. major is what’s needed to write a book about cancer or HIV, but hey, he’s the one not paying the writer. He can’t be too choosy. Besides, I’d say anyone is better than the current author, if you know what I mean.

Post from: EveryJoe

Truth in Advertising

Does That Budget Include Big Letters?

Deborah Ng — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:31:53 +0000

Behold a bit of pet peevery:

Writer Gig (Midtown)

Reply to: nobigletters@ass.com
Date: 2008-01-18, 2:24PM EST
we have a great story and we would like it to be told. tc muzique was founded in the twin cities in 1988. it has featured bands of every genre and is now celebrating twenty years. we are in a sense the true waynes world success story. over the next months we will be going out on the road taping bands from nyc to cali and many stops in between. thats the future it looks bright. as for our past we would like to hire a writer to tell our story and are currently considering applicants. we have a budget and are planning on making a decision over the next few weeks. (http://withheld) where you can find a our basic web page and see one of our shows. if your interested please email me for consideration. thx and have a great day.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: TBD

Here’s an ad typical of Craigslist. Notice the lack of capital letters? Notice the "thx" instead of thanks? Isn’t there anyone who doesn’t talk like she’s texting her BFF during math class? See, here’s the way I look at it. Whether you’re looking for a job or wanting to hire, an ad is like an audition. Would you be sloppy during an audition? One thinks not. If I were to send Mr. Future’s So Bright up there a resume lacking upper casery would I get the gig? Yet here he is, setting the example. Why would I want to work for someone who can’t even take two minutes to proofread?

Ass.

Image via Say Hey.

Post from: EveryJoe

Does That Budget Include Big Letters?

Fortunately Babysitters Don’t Need to Punctuate

Deborah Ng — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:29:25 +0000

Sigh.

babysitter looking for a job

Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-01-16, 1:52PM EST
im a babysitter looking for a job i am very good with childeren and im great for the job, i have four years of experionse and i also have two kids of my own one is fourteen and the other is ten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Call Linda At: 1(555-LAME)

Location: astoria

it’s ok to contact this poster if you are a potential employer or other principal

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Why would I think twice about hiring this person to baby sit for me? It’s like this:

Someone looking for a job should take the time out to craft a well-written ad. The spelling and punctuation are ass. Even if Linda here knows how to spell, punctuate and correctly use upper and lower case letters, how well do I think she’d look after my kids if she can’t be bothered to proofread her ad?
She has a 14 and a 10 year old. Why should they take the time to check their homework if their Mom won’t set the example? If I can’t trust her to proofread her ad, can I trust her to proofread my kids’ homework? And if she does proofread said homework, will she know the difference between a poorly written and a well written sentence? I think not.

I don’t care if you’re babysitting or looking for a job in the Rocket Sciences. You need to make a good impression. Spell check, proofread and remove all traces of lamery.

This has been a public service announcement from The Craigslist Curmudgeon.

You’re welcome.

Post from: EveryJoe

Fortunately Babysitters Don’t Need to Punctuate

The Craislist Curmudgeon’s Top 10 Posts of 2007

Deborah Ng — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 18:29:15 +0000

The Craigslist Curmudgeon has ~~a couple~~ many fans and ~~both of you~~ you’re all very loyal. As a reward, I thought I’d offer a best of piece. Here are the Craigslist Curmudgeon’s Top 10 Posts of 2007.

Lamery With the Olsen Twins – Who knew the Olsen Twins would be too cheap to pay their writers? Even more surprising, who knew this post would receive more traffic than any other?
I Don’t Need My Apartment Cleaned That Bad – Why you’re all interested in a man who does housekeeping in the nude is beyond me. The Curmudgeon has a don’t ask don’t tell policy.
Will Work for Lash Extensions – Need some eyelashes or a Brazilian bikini wax? Trade it for your writing. Here’s a woman so confident about her business she feels it’s worthy of a Wikipedia write up.
Yes We’re Hiring But Not You – An angry woman wonders why no one will hire her. Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
Dirty Laundry – Gary plays a joke on frequenters of Craigslist.
Will Write for Donuts – Well…you won’t starve.
Is This an Ad or an Instant Message? idk. wht do u thnk?
That’s A Lot of Verys – They’re cheap but they have access to grants.
Paging Tom – This is the guy whose ass you need to kick.
Would You Work for This Guy? – He doesn’t want to sound like an ass…but he is one.

Post from: EveryJoe

The Craislist Curmudgeon’s Top 10 Posts of 2007

How to Get Started in Publishing

Deborah Ng — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:58:56 +0000

This person wants some advice on getting her short story published:

i wrote a story,,, can anyone help me get it published and copywritten

Reply to: capsandpunctuationneednotapply@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-05, 11:12AM EST

like it says
i wrote a story (a short story entitled “Flyer Girl”,, its about a girl who works in the streets hanond out flyers and it points out things that everybody does and how it feels to do such things and what not
i need it published and copywritten but have no idea where to start

* Location: brooklyn
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Step One: Learn the proper uses of upper and lower case letters.
Step Two: Punctuation helps.
Step Three: Spelling counts.
Step Four: Are you looking to become copyrighted or copy written because they’re two separate animals?
Step Five: I’m thinking the synopsizing skills are rather lacking. “How it feels to do such things and what not”. Way to sell a story!
Step Six: Master the above and then we’ll talk about getting you published.

Post from: EveryJoe

How to Get Started in Publishing

ALL CAPS ALERT!!!

Deborah Ng — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 00:02:10 +0000

This guy appears to be in a bit of a frenzy:

part time writing

Reply to:WHYAMIYELLING?@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-29, 2:10PM CST

ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN WHO OFFICIAL EDU LINKS

Post from: EveryJoe

ALL CAPS ALERT!!!

Talented Individuals Need Not Apply

Deborah Ng — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 13:53:21 +0000

Talentless Hack?

Reply to: talentedhackery@emailwithheld.com
Date: 2007-12-21, 4:57PM CST

You might be just what we’re looking for. Writer or reporter wanted for The Yellow Press.

Online scandal rag, yellowpress. com similar to The Onion, or National Enquirer.

Be an author or have your own department, we’re eager to shrug responsibility.

See website to register and become author, or email your story to us.

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Except both the Onion and National Enquirer pay their writers.

I see they set very high standards for their writers. All you have to do is register or email your story. That’s it and you’re in like Flynn. Cool! I’m a freelance writer cause I got my artikle posted on the internet. Aren’t you jelous of me and my byline?

Post from: EveryJoe

Talented Individuals Need Not Apply

Write for Him, He’s Broke

Deborah Ng — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 12:00:07 +0000

The Ad:

Writers needed for movie blog

Reply to:Iamanass@gmail.com
Date: 2007-12-14, 4:08PM CST

I’m looking to add some writers to my movie blog (http://mylamemovieblog.com/). Right now it’s only me writing in it. Go to the blog, see if you like my style, and email me your thoughts along with a short blurb of why you think you would be a good addition to the site. I would pay, but I’m broke. This is more for fun and for gaining experience.

This generous fellow is looking to add new writers to his blog. Not just any writers, though. You have to audition. You have to tell him why you’re the best person for this broke-ass guy’s movie blog. Pay? You expected pay? But this is for fun and experience! I’m not sure what kind of experience though. Perhaps experience working for lame, non-paying blogs? Yeah…that’ll get you the big gigs.

Ass.

Post from: EveryJoe

Write for Him, He’s Broke