Does the Internet Help or Hurt Intimacy?

Jason Bean — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 05:15:36 +0000

I was recently speaking with a friend about the Internet and whether or not she believes it helps or hurts the ability for people to be intimate with each other. I asked her if she’d like to share some of her thoughts here on EveryJoe and she agreed.

Recently I watched an interesting piece on Ted.com about how the internet enables intimacy. I have to say – I’ve heard a lot for each side of the argument – does the internet enable intimacy or does it hinder it?

One view is that it absolutely enables it – it gives people the opportunity to talk to people across the oceans who they might not normally get the chance to talk to – and that in turn enables people to more easily learn about other cultures simply by talking to people. It also allows people to stay in constant communication – I for one will hit my sister up even when I’m at work to figure out where we’re going to meet for dinner. By allowing people the ability to communicate it allows people to share their thoughts – in the moment – creating more intimacy between people. Additionally it allows people to share things in a much less threatening environment – that person is not sitting directly in front of you waiting to judge you straight to your face.

The opposing view points out that as kids are growing up they are much more attached to their technology, and are thus losing the ability to interact with people face to face. Interpersonal communication is important and if the coming generation only learns how to share through online chatting, etc they will lack the human interaction and the skills to succeed in the professional world. Many people believe that just sharing words online doesn’t necessarily allow for intimacy at all – it lacks the facial expressions, the body language, and every other way the humans display intimacy without words.

What do you think? Do you think the internet helps intimacy or hurts it? What type of effect is it having on human relationships?

Are we more social and intimate with each other with all of this social media around us? Or do we just have a much broader network of shallow contacts and quasi-”friends” on every network around us.