The point is that I suck at Fat Princes.

I downloaded the demo from the Playstation Network, very excited to finally try my hand at the game.

I selected the “play with yourself” option since I am new to this whole cake filled wonderment and didn’t want to embarrass myself. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that multiplayer is disabled if you’re just playing the demo. Like I said, I didn’t select that option so I don’t know for sure.

Boys are notorious for not reading the instructions and I guess I’m a guy since I didn’t read how to play the game – I just drove right in.

After one minute of watching the different characters run around my screen – each with an obvious mission that I was oblivious of – I was regretting my choice.

I ran around the screen for a good five minutes trying to figure out what my goal was and how to pick up stuff [what's with the controls?!] and since the game is called Fat Princess, I decided to go find said princess. And find her I did but she was a rather skinny princess and didn’t quite live up to the game’s title…until I spied a lonely piece of cake right outside my castle’s walls.

As I dashed through the gates, I was met by this blue bastard who attacked me and sent me back to where I started. What. The. Hell.

After some quick internet research, I realized that the princess in my castle wasn’t actually my princess but the other team’s and that I needed to keep their princess pleasantly plump so that she would be good and heavy and they would have a harder time stealing her back.

So I fed her. And I fed her. And I fed her.

And each time I came back with more cake, she was less fat than when I left her and every time I ventured out for more cake, I got killed.

My error was that Fat Princess is a team game.

Everyone has a role to play and you can’t do it all on your own. I don’t play well with others so team games aren’t my strong suit.

What’s funny is that I must be a glutton for punishment since I plan on buying Fat Princess.

There was just something about the way that the game is designed and the deceptively simple premise that endears it to me and makes me want to feed that damn princess.

Find IGN’s review of Fat Princess below.

Image|Sony

Post from: EveryJoe

I Suck at Fat Princess

In all actuality, I was sitting on my couch with my laptop in my lap watching the Sony press conference live but still, like I was there!

Yes. I know. I’m a dork.

SO many cool things were introduced [PSPgo!!! $249.99 and Agent from Rockstar exclusive to PS3] and lots of cool videos were shown [Final Fantasy 14 Online *gasp* and Uncharted 2]. Also, demos were played [Assassin's Creed 2] and there was the announcement that 50 PSone games are coming to the PSN [Playstation Network and did you know that you can still buy a PSone on Amazon.com? Who knew?!]

All in all, it was a great press conference and I have obviously not listed each and every cool thing that was talked about today. If you’re interested in what I had to say on Twitter while watching the press conference then click on all of this for a link.

I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing what Sony is going to bring to the table this year.

Post from: EveryJoe

I was At E3…Online

With over 20 million registered users around the world, the PlayStation Network or PSN is huge but it doesn’t mean worldwide PS3 sales are better. In order to promote PS3 (sorta), Sony intends to introduce PSN to other hardware (think HDTV, laptops?) under its brand.

So if you don’t have the PS3 or PSP, you can still enjoy the online content but you still need a controller to play online games, if you know what I mean.

Via: Crunchgear
Image: Sony

Post from: EveryJoe

PlayStation Network On Other Sony Hardware

So, it warms my zombie loving heart to see that Konami is releasing Zombie Apocalypse for download on Xbox LIVE Arcade and PlayStation Network this summer.

Zombie Apocalypse tasks up to four players with killing [re-killing?] as many zombies as they can so that the world is saved from the brain-eating bad guys.

If you fail at your task, you become one of the undead so make sure that you kick some zombie ass or you’ll end up having brains for dinner.

Post from: EveryJoe

Save the World One Zombie Death at a Time

From the press release:

• PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system trophies
• Realistic graphics and sounds that make you feel like you’re on the actual game show set
• Nearly 9,000 puzzles to challenge your mind!
• Customizable characters
• Single-player, multiplayer and network/multiplayer modes
• Eleven different playable cities across America (Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Denver, Dallas, New Orleans, Charleston, Philadelphia and Fort Lauderdale)
• Studio sets and sound effects straight from the TV show!

Image|Sony Online Entertainment

Now, I’m not a big Wheel of Fortune fan, but there must be some out there for Sony to sock the $ into making this game and then releasing it. Then again, if you think about it, Sony doesn’t have to worry about packaging costs since they’re releasing it on the PSN.

Whatever.

Just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t mean that you won’t love it.

Post from: EveryJoe

Spin, Solve and Win with Wheel of Fortune

He was at class all day yesterday dreaming about playing COD4 online. Sadly, when he got home he was confronted with the message that our “access to the PLAYSTATION Network has been suspended”.

I quickly gave Tucker a WTF look since I was convinced that he was to blame for our inability to access not only the Playstation Network but also the internet via Steve.  Well, I blamed him until I found this.

Did Playstation give any advanced notice on this that I didn’t know about cause I was about two seconds away from blaming the husband for looking at dirty pictures via my PS3?

Image: http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/psnlogo.jpg

Post from: EveryJoe

Playstation Network was Down Yesterday

Last time it was for people who had downloaded the new maps.

This time, it’s open to everyone.

Be sure to take advantage of the Domination glitch so that you can level up lightning quick.

Also, COD4 has taken the lead spot on Live.

Seems we’re not the only people who enjoy double points.

Post from: EveryJoe

COD4 Double Points this Weekend!

I’ve admitted that I’m addicted.

And, I’m not ashamed to admit that I have had to resort to using the internet to get me through a level.

Last night was one of those times when the wonderful world wide web saved my night.

You see, there’s this level called “Heart” and it was MAJORLY kicking my ass! I don’t mean just a bit, I’m talking about being stuck at wave 6 and not being able to get any further.

Sad times.

Luckily I found this video…it saved me.

Post from: EveryJoe

PixelJunk Monsters: Medium6 – Heart

Since I haven’t really been able to find any games here recently that I’m interested in playing, I’ve taken to trolling the PlayStation Network in a vane attempt to find something worth buying.

Be careful what you wish for.

PixelJunk Monsters is your classic tower defense game where you have to destroy wave after wave of bad guys in an attempt to save your flock.

I downloaded the demo with the expressed purpose of wasting maybe thirty minutes and then carrying on with my normal day-to-day activities.

Yeah. That didn’t happen.

After playing the demo for two hours, I finally gave in and paid the $9.99 for the complete game. It’s been well worth the money.

I’ve managed to waste hours of potentially constructive time on the same level and I eventually had to bow down to God Google for help.

I’ll just play Monsters till Overlord: Raising Hell comes out and then I’ll stop ’cause I can stop whenever I want to…really I can.

Post from: EveryJoe

A Monster of an Addictive Game