– Congress Convenes Emergency Session To Determine How To Best Exploit Crisis For Added Power, Revenue –
Congress and members of the Obama Administration both convened emergency sessions over the weekend after declaring the recent outbreak of swine flu a “pandemic.” Congressional leaders and Administration representatives met in a bipartisan effort to explore ways to use the latest “emergency” to expand governmental powers and increase taxes.
Initial proposals include anyone not in the continental U.S. at 3:00 p.m. Sunday afternoon not being allowed back into the country for 10 years and authorizing the Surgeon General to conduct on the spot body …read more

– New Plan Pegs Salaries of Everyone In Country At Minimum Wage –
Under expansive new powers granted to him by members of Congress claiming expansive new powers, Treasury Secretary Geithner announced his latest plan to control the U.S. economy: Everyone in the country will work and get paid minimum wage.
Appearing before apparatchiks fellow comrades a group of Senators in Washington, Geithner explained, “Trying to decide who should get paid what was getting too complicated and taking too much of my time, so I thought ‘Why not reduce everyone to the lowest common denominator?’ It’ll be easier and it’s …read more