(www.bizchicksrule.com) — We have all encountered Backstabbers at work. They are gossips, mean spirited and hurtful. In my research for the Toxic People book, one in every 30 people in high-performing business situations has been identified as a Backstabber. This rate is several times higher than that of the general population. Are you surprised? These people have little conscience or ability to change because their antics get them what they want. So what can you do to manage these emotional vampires and your mental terrorism caused by these nasty people? How do you take personal responsibility for sharpening your skills, not your tongue?

Identify the behavior.Taking credit for others’ work and finding reasons to place blame whenever anything goes wrong are typical of their malicious approach. Understand that their undermining ugliness often pushes you into toxic behavior.

Never overlook the damage Backstabbers can do. Don’t laugh at them or shrug off their behavior. If you do, it just reinforces their control and their negative positioning.

Listen for the messages they send and how you interpret their vicious banter. Do you hear, "Be careful what you say about me, or I’ll say something that will embarrass you in front of others" or "There is nothing you can do to stop me; I’m more clever than you?" Sometimes Backstabbers will even send another kind of message, such as, "I’m only trying to be helpful. Maybe you don’t see the weakness in yourself.

Learn survival tactics. One approach is to build a positive relationship with Backstabbers and anyone they have enlisted. If a Backstabber tells you that someone else in the office doesn’t like you or has it in for you, go to the person directly and ask if it’s true.

Use specific language. In testing language for my book, Toxic People, I’ve found the following to work most effectively. Maintain a strong belief in your own competencies to stop the thoughts of vulnerability. Take personal responsibility in building you. Check your weaknesses and if they are the problem, learn to change them. The Back Stabber is just one of six Toxic People that I have identified. Get ready to also handle the Whine and Cheeser, the Know-it-all, the Steamroller, the Zipper Lip and the Needy Weenie. Using the same approach for all of them just forces you into your own mode of Toxic behavior!

Above all, stay pleasant and focus on the positive intent of the interaction. A positive attitude won’t solve all your problems, but it will tick off enough people to make it work the effort! And the real key in dealing with Backstabbers at work — don’t become one.

***

As an international professional speaker and best selling author, Marsha Petrie Sue, MBA, CSP (Certified Speaking Professional), is known as the Muhammed Ali of communicators. She can dance and look pretty, and she uses the entire ring, but she knows how and when to land a knockout punch. Get the smelling salts! Her presentations are charm school with live ammunition. Her book Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work Without Using Weapons Or Duct Tape was released in 2007.

Tags: womens business blog, biz chicks rule, kristen king, marsha petrie sue, toxic people

Post from: EveryJoe

Success Sucks! If You Let Backstabbers Kill Your Dreams

(www.bizchicksrule.com) — I was still in people pleasing mode when I started a record label on a dare, one of the few chicks doing it. I wanted to be liked by the guys in the All Boys Club so I’d smile and let them walk all over me. But that wasn’t good business! Slowly I learned how to play their game, nicely, while handling myself in ways that got me taken seriously. It helped me evolve into what I call a Nice Girl on Top. Then the boys had no choice but to treat this chick with respect!

You can be nice but still play to win. To paraphrase Teddy Roosevelt, talk softly and carry a big stick—an attitude and demeanor that says you mean business. Your speaking manner makes an impact. Getting nervous, frustrated, angry or insecure triggers emotions to creep into your voice. That can make you feel out of control and makes a bad impression. The more you control emotions, the less they control you, and the more confident you’ll feel. Even if you’re nervous, you can sound confident if you use these tips:

Think before speaking

Blurting things out fuels feeling out of control. And regret. Pause before responding. Say you’ll think it over. Tame that inner Good Girl who makes you want to agree to everything immediately. Thinking allows you a more controlled response that’s in your best interest, which increases confidence!

Use words that show conviction

You’ll get taken more seriously if your message shows a definite intention. Sounding like you’re just hoping for a positive response instead of expecting one doesn’t sound serious. “I’d like____. Can you get it for me?” can be, “I expect to get the ___. When will you have it?” Show you mean business! Being tentative or wishy-washy won’t generate respect or results.

Take deep breaths before speaking

Breathe deeply and release it slowly, to calm down. Getting flustered when you’re nervous or stressed leads to poor communication. Taking deep breaths before speaking can help you control it.

Use a gentle but firm tone

People pleasers speak timidly and get nowhere. Women at the opposite extreme are loud or tough, which annoys people. Nice Girls on Top have a friendly manner that also sounds firm about expecting results. No whining or apologetic tones! Women complain that nice gets them nowhere. You can speak nicely while sounding resolute. People get the message. Speak softly but carry your big stick—a tone that says you’re serious!

Slow down

When you’re anxious, you may talk faster. Consciously slowing down and enunciating words carefully offers more control and allows leeway for speeding up if emotions kick in. When I spoke at high speed, it made me more nervous. Slowing down dramatically helped me take control of me, and the conversation. Managing your pace and enunciating words helps control emotions and sounds more serious, which leads to feeling more confident.

Bring your voice down an octave

Does your voice go higher when you’re frustrated or nervous? Emotions lower credibility if they make your voice squeaky. A quick fix? Begin speaking with your voice lower than usual to allow leeway when emotions make it rise. Women’s voices tend to be higher than men’s and carry less clout, even without emotions. Bringing the pitch down sounds more serious. And if you speak slower too, your words have more impact. It translates into real confidence as you get better responses. Feeling in control of how you sound is a huge confidence booster!

Tape yourself during phone conversations

Listen back and pay attention to when your voice rises and speeds up. Become more conscious and slowly modulate your voice. The effort will prompt people to give what you say more credence, without raising your voice!

***

Dayelle Deanna Schwartz is a best-selling author, speaker, self-empowerment counselor and music industry consultant. She’s appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America; quoted in publications, including The NY Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, and Men’s Health; on Lifetimetv.com’s Panel of Experts. After being a People Pleaser, Daylle reinvented herself into a dual career. She’s the author of 9 books, including Start & Run Your Own Record Label, I Don’t Need a Record Deal!, All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise, and Straight Talk with Gay Guys. Her next book is Nice Girls Can Finish First. Her music business books for Billboard are top sellers. Read her self-empowerment blog, Lessons From a Recovering DoorMat, for more great advice for women.

(image: SXC.hu)

Post from: EveryJoe

Speaking Tips for Getting Taken Seriously From a Recovering Doormat

(www.bizchicksrule.com) — “It’s not what you know it’s who you know” has never been more true than it is today. Connections and self-promotion are the cornerstones of a successful business. Here are some pointers I’ve picked up along the way.

Learn from the boy scouts

I’ve been to so many mixers where people are unprepared with no business cards, no pen and an almost apologetic way of introducing themselves. Have enough cards and have them ready to hand out, especially at a function where meeting contacts is the objective.

Show your muscles

One of the first things my father taught me was to have a firm hand shake. I’ve met both men and women where "limp fish" doesn’t even begin to describe their greeting. Shake with gusto and look the person in the eye.

The name game

Unless you are Cher, Sting, Madonna or some other pop star; say your FULL name. Have a short description (elevator speech) of what you do. When you talk about yourself, speak proudly and with passion, and others will be interested in what you have to say. I have friends that are amazed that everywhere I go someone walks away with my card. Not because I’m pushy, but my enthusiasm about what I do is contagious. If someone offers you a business card, make sure you look at it and acknowledge what you see. And if you say you are going to call or “do lunch,” please follow through!

Toot away

Be the best at what you do. You have to believe that you are fabulous! You must. Because if you don’t, why will anyone else? I remember the first day of acting class my teacher turned to one of the students and asked her if she was a good actress. The student turned her eyes down and said, “Yeah, I guess so.” The instructor looked to the rest of the class and said, “Anyone a GOOD actress, because that’s what I want to hire. If you can’t tell me you’re good, I’m moving on to the next person.” That has stuck with me since 1988. You have to toot your own horn and be confident in what you do.

Orderly conduct

You never know who is a contact, a possible customer or your next investor. Watch your behavior in public. I’ve been to business mixers where women were dressed inappropriately, drunk and dancing like a fool in the corner. (All while proudly wearing a nametag that displayed their business name.) I’m all for having fun but propriety is needed, especially in small towns.

Visualize your turn signal

I see more and more people with personalized license plates and magnets advertising their business on their car. What a great idea. Unless you drive like a maniac and yell at other drivers. Years ago when I was waiting tables, I was slightly late for work. Some idiot was taking his good old time crossing the street. I turned anyway barely missing him. Sure enough, who was my first customer of the morning? Crosswalk guy. I asked if I could take his order and he looked at me and said, “Didn’t you just try to kill me?” I didn’t get a tip but I did learn a lesson. Watch your emotions when you drive; the man you flip off today just might be hiring you tomorrow.

Chutzpah

Be ballsy. Don’t be afraid to talk to people or tell them what you do. I saw a woman in line in front of me at a store who was rubbing her own shoulder and trying to turn her head from side to side. She was obviously in pain. I commented that it looked she needed a massage. She said she sure did so I gave her a card. She never called, but two days later a friend of hers did and she’s been a client since. Guts pay off. I’ve found places to live, investments, good friends, amazing clients and fabulous wine by talking to strangers.

Surf the ‘net

Take advantage of the on-line world. Get a website or blog (keep it current) and list it on all of your marketing material. Communicate with people via Twitter, Facebook, MySpace or LinkedIn. However, since now anyone with a cell phone is paparazzi, watch what ends up on the Web. Your “wacky” MySpace page may come back to bite you when your boss Googles your name or possible clients see you stripping on YouTube. Not to be paranoid, but things have a way of showing up when you thought no one knew about them. Keep your private life as private as you can and use the Web as a tool!

And lastly, pursue your dreams, be true to yourself, and succeed!

***

Kathy Gruver is a Doctor of Traditional Naturopathy, owner of Healing Circle Massage, a former actor and is pursuing her Masters and Ph.D. in Natural Health. She is a health educator and gets great pleasure in encouraging women in business. She can be found at www.healingcirclemassage.com and www.healthieroffice.com.

(image: Newscom)

Tags: womens business blog, women and business, women in business, women, woman, business, networking, marketing, self-promotion, kathy gruver, healing circle massage, healthier office, biz chicks rule, kristen king

Post from: EveryJoe

The Art of Self-Promotion: A Primer

I’m going to steal from a comment I just left on Ry’s post "Why I Fear Women and Love Mythical Hobbits":

Whether Heather [Armstrong] is in actuality a mean girl is in my opinion immaterial to this discussion because she’s not the one talking smack on the blogs and making herself look like a vitriolic shrew — and THAT is what I was talking about. When people complain with substance … when they express a concern and make an argument, that’s saying, "enough is enough." I respect that. I’m down with it. When they do what I see happening now, that’s doing the mean girls playground wars thing, and that I have no respect for whatsoever.

If you think someone’s a butthead, you can tell that person or not. But you have to accept that no matter what they did that made you think they sucked in the first place, you will look a WHOLE lot worse if you go public with your unkind thoughts and rip them to shreds and call them names and say mean and nasty things about them and their friends and their family. And especially if it’s just because you don’t like their dog or their writing style or their hair or WHATEVER, or because they did something vague to someone else, or possibly someone else several people removed from you that you saw / heard about / think might have happened / bet would be something they would do, you look like a moron. You do. And you deserve it.

My point is that you get to choose how you respond to something. Calling names and taking low blows is a choice. Stating your case plainly is a choice. Saying nothing is a choice. These bloggers are choosing to be mean girls, and there are other ways to share an opinion. My opinion is that being a mean girl sucks, and this tendency of women to get all catty on each other is holding us back and it’s time to knock it off and be grown-ups already. Just because someone does something you think is stupid / mean / whatever does not mean that you have to respond in kind. That’s what children do. "He hit me!" "She hit me first!" You should know better.

***

In response to specific comments that I didn’t address already in the original post…

lildb said in part

this should have been nothing, but it became something when conflated unnecessarily by the speaker. shame on her.

I contend that it should have remained nothing. The only person who knows the speaker’s intentions in bringing it up at the keynote is the speaker, so let’s leave that alone. For all we know, it was meant to be a charming anecdote. What has turned it into a BIG TO-DO is the attacks after the fact, the mean-girl-ness. If no one said anything, who would give a hoot?

Allena said in part, in response to an earlier exchange

sometimes you HAVE to assoc w/hags! It’s not pleasant but it’s life. Being a soccer mom taught me to create a drama filter ;-}

To some extent I agree. Unless you live in a bubble, it happens. But you don’t have to seek out people you don’t care for. Wear headphones in the office. Bring a book to soccer practice. Skip the party hosted by the people you don’t like. Again, you get to choose. If it means sitting alone, so be it. Personally, I’d rather be content and alone than uncomfortable and surrounded by jerks.

Ruby said in part

I feel like Blogher should be called Doocher, because somehow it’s always about her and her friends. If you’re not in with her friends well then you’re just nobody.

Ruby, I think it sucks that you’ve had bad BlogHer experiences. I hope you will give your feedback to the organizers. I know they are open to it. But I have to point out here that I had never even heard of Dooce until about an hour before the keynote and even now if you put a gun to my head I couldn’t name a single one of her friends. And I don’t care. She is just a blogger, just like you and me. Do I think she’s a great writer? Yes I do. I read her blog for the first time at the airport on my way home from San Francisco and I loved it. But I managed to get through pretty much my entire life to date including all of BlogHer without that knowledge, and I still had a great time. And I found a lot of other awesome blogs there, too. That was part of the payoff.

If you don’t like the club (or if, like me, you don’t know it exists), start your own.

***

In closing (for now), YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN LIFE. If you have a problem, do something about it. It all comes back to choices. You can choose to do something or you can choose to do nothing. But both are choices, and there are times when each of them is right. You can choose to let something go, or you can chose to tell the world about it. Just make your choice a conscious choice — because you will have to live with the consequences, positive or negative.

And as far as I’m concerned, there is never anything positive about being a mean girl.

Contents © Copyright 2008 Kristen King

Tags: women in business, women and business, women, woman, business, womens business blog, blogher08, blogher, keynote, mean girls, queen bees, gossip, catty, catfight, dooce, bloggess, hobbit, immature, clique, cool kids, biz chicks rule, kristen king

Post from: EveryJoe

In Response to the Comments on My Mean Girls Post…

This weekend at BlogHer, there was some drama during the closing keynote. I don’t know any of the people involved personally and I couldn’t tell you anyone’s intentions and I’m not going to try. But here’s what happened in super simple terms, from the viewpoint of an objective observer who had never heard of these people — before that day, anyway. One of the keynote speakers, made reference to something that had been said about her by another blogger in the context of a discussion of how readers often don’t see bloggers as real people and how surreal that is. During the audience Q&A, that blogger responded to the speaker. It should have been the end of the discussion.

But tension ensued, and I’m not entirely sure why because I thought it was pretty innocuous all around. It was an amusing post referenced in what I thought was a good-natured comment, along with a funny, though perhaps inappropriately timed, response. Who knows, maybe there’s some history I don’t know about — but what actually happened in that room at that moment, in my opinion, was not that big a deal. Yet the tension level went from 0 to 60 in .02 seconds, Twitter lit up like crazy, and shortly thereafter the blogosphere exploded, so of course, I wanted to figure out exactly why the heck everyone got their panties in a bunch.

I did what every other Internet-addicted woman does when she wants to learn about something: I Googled the original post and searched for comments about the keynote "incident" after the fact. And I was SHOCKED to find that some of the people who I thought were pretty nice when I met them at BlogHer were just ripping these poor women to shreds — about something that really, truly, is not all the drama. Talk about blowing something out of proportion! Are we not adults here? Are we not past the mind set that the only way to feel good about ourselves is to tear other down and mock them in front of all of the other kids on the playground? And after all of that, I still don’t understand what the big flipping deal is.

It got me thinking about stuff I saw in high school, middle school, elementary school, and stuff I saw when I was working, too. Everywhere you go, there are the "cool kids" and the not-so-cool kids. Even if you choose not to participate in that dynamic (and I really, really hope you choose not to participate in that dynamic), you know what I’m talking about. For some reason, those cool kids seem determined to maintain their status — by making sure no one else feels cool anywhere, ever. That is like the least cool thing I can think of. It’s a coolness dictatorship. And the response is for the less-cool kids to find ways to sabotage the cool kids and rob them of their alpha status. (I guess that would be the anti-cool revolt.) It’s like something you see on Animal Planet crossed with the Bolshevik Revolution.

I digress. What I see happening now is that these two women, the speaker and the blogger, are being torn down on blogs for SOMETHING that is NOTHING. And it’s just petty. And it looks stupid. And I’m indignant, because I feel like every time someone complains about how "the man" is holding women back and societal pressures are keeping women from moving forward and it’s about time we had a serious woman presidential candidate, blah blah blah, a bunch of women jump on a bunch of other women and have a catfight and it just makes everyone look bad and we’re back where we started from and we deserve it because this is not the playground and that’s how we are behaving. And I say WE because the rest of us who do nothing about it are just as responsible as the people who are actively propogating it.

We are grown-ups now and this is like so 15 years ago. Fellow BlogHers, we just got back from a conference dedicated toward supporting women in the blogosphere, and here you are talking smack about stuff that’s not any of your business, stirring the pot, and frankly embarrassing the rest of us. You’re old enough to know better. You’re old enough to stop being mean girls.

So, blogging aside, what’s my point? Well, I want to know how YOU deal with the mean girls in your life. Whether you’re a target of mean girls or are around them or, let’s be honest here, if you have mean girl tendencies of your own, how does it affect your life? And are you okay with that?

Some questions to prompt your thinking:

• What do you do when you hear a rumor at work, or anywhere else for that matter? Do you listen to it? Do you ignore it? Do you repeat it?
• How do you react when others are gossiping in your presence? Do you participate? Do you sit by silently? Do you leave?
• Do you ever start or spread gossip and rumors about another woman at work or elsewhere in your life?
• Do you talk about other women when they’re not in the room?
• How do you handle it when you have a problem with another woman in your life? Do you talk to her about it, or do you talk to others about it?
• Do you discuss others’ failures at length, either in a closed group or in public forums?
• Do you mock other women who dress differently, speak differently, make different life choices? Do you participate or enable when others do?
• Do you make a point of bringing other people down?

Those things aren’t funny, and they’re certainly not flattering. Yeah, we all have our moments and NONE of us is perfect. But this is worth making an effort for. And it’s not just about you, or about me, or about this speaker and this blogger. This is about how we as women are cutting one another down and it is unacceptable. Now, what are we going to do about it?

Contents © Copyright 2008 Kristen King

Tags: women in business, women and business, women, woman, business, womens business blog, blogher08, blogher, keynote, mean girls, queen bees, gossip, catty, catfight, dooce, bloggess, hobbit, immature, clique, cool kids, biz chicks rule, kristen king

Post from: EveryJoe

Apparently Mean Girls Just Don’t Grow Out of It

In April, I laid into PR folks who suck at their jobs, and I stand by my complaint. Really, they have no excuse. But if you have no PR or marketing training I can understand why you would make some mistakes when you’re first getting the hang of your business. I want to help you, really, I do. But before I get into that, let me give you some context for why I’m writing this post.

I recently joined an excellent mailing list called Help a Reporter Out (HARO for short). If you’re a source, or someone with information to share, you sign up to receive daily collections of queries from individuals who are looking for people to interview, feature, whatever. If you’re a reporter, you can submit your detailed query and tell sources how to contact you. It’s a brilliant idea, and the guy who runs the joint, Peter Shankman, is smart, engaging, and very good at what he does, so I learn a lot even when I don’t have a query to post or a response to send.

But this week, I did have a query to post. Two, in fact. Here is the one I sent for sources for Biz Chicks Rule:

Summary: Chick CEOs and Business Owners
Name: Kristen King
Email: kristen@b5media.com
Title: Blog co-host
Media Outlet/Publication: http://www.bizzia.com/

“Women’s business blog Biz Chicks Rule (http://www.bizzia.com/), part of the Business Channel at global media network b5media, seeks female executives and business owners for profiles, Q&As, and guest posts. Our audience is mostly female (duh), primarily North American, and very interested in stories of real women climbing the corporate ladder and making their own way in business.

All industries are welcome. Particularly interested in women who developed an innovative product or service or succeeded in traditionally male-dominated arenas, but not a requirement.

E-mail pitches to kristen@b5media.com with ‘BCR Pitch’ in the subject line. This is an ongoing need, so lay it on me, baby.”

I did get some phenomenal pitches and I will have a ton of great content for you in the coming weeks and months as a result. But I also got a boatload of crap, and so I give you…

The Top 10 Annoying Things Respondents Have Done That Have Made My Life More Difficult Instead of Easier

1. Asking me questions that are clearly answered in the query, like “Would you consider a female entrepreneur?” Uh, yeah, that’s kind of what I meant when I said “business owners.” DELETE.
2. Failing to include “BCR Pitch” in the subject line even thought I explicitly asked that it be included. Your e-mail is NOT the only one I have to read, and this is NOT the only query I have out right now. Throw me a bone, please. It’s CALLED Help A Reporter Out, after all. And if you can’t follow simple instructions in a call for pitches, how can I trust that you’re going to facilitate the interview I want or get me the product I need to review? You’re only hurting yourself here. DELETE.
3. Using ONLY “BCR Pitch” in the subject line. Do you know how many message I have to go through that are all labeled “BCR Pitch”? I didn’t think I had to specify that it just needs to be there somewhere, not the ONLY thing there, but apparently that wasn’t as obvious as I thought. Is this my fault? I really don’t think so, but I’m open to being knocked down a few notches on this one. WOULD delete, but there are too many. Sigh.
4. Pasting a press release into the message and then hitting send. And the professional PR people are the worst offenders on this one! Did they not go over this on day one of PR school? A press release is NOT a pitch. It is a press release. DELETE.
5. Attaching a press release and saying “See the attached press release for my pitch.” See #4. DELETE.
6. Saying things like, “It’s complicated. I need to know if you’re interested before I get into it.” And I need to know what in God’s name you’re talking about before I can tell you whether I’m interested. Why are you wasting my time? DELETE.
7. Sending a novel instead of a pitch. Okay, well not literally a novel, but does it really take 1000+ words to tell me what you are telling me and why I should care? “My business/product/client is ABC. This is innovative/interesting/a perfect fit because XYZ.” I want a little more than that, but really, 300 words is more than enough. Sheesh. DELETE.
8. Using words completely wrong. I can’t give an anonymized example of this one because all of the truly awful queries that did it are too easily identifiable by the egregious errors. But when I say egregious, I mean like saying that something is chartreuse when you mean that it’s obtuse. What kind of interview will you be when you can’t even make sense when you have all the time in the world to look stuff up and craft what you’re saying? I shudder to think. DELETE.
9. Making a way bigger deal of yourself, your company, or your product than is even remotely believable in any possible reality. I get that you’re excited about whatever your thing is, but I’m pretty sure your goal is to interest me in it, not to make me think you’re totally delusional and potentially dangerous. DELETE.
10. Making me click on stuff “for more information” without giving me any information in the first place. I get that SOME is technically more than NOTHING, but you’re supposed to use links and attachments as a SUPPLEMENT to your pitch, not in place of it. (See also #5.) I don’t have time for this, dude. I asked for a PITCH, not a link, and certainly not more work to do. DELETE.

Once I simmer down, I’ll follow up with some of the BEST things folks have done in these pitches to give you a How To list. But in the meantime, I have a bazillion more pitches to read!

Oh, and if I find that you pitched me AFTER reading this list and you STILL commit one of these heinous acts against the public relations field, I will not be held responsible for my actions. Consider yourself warned.

Contents © Copyright 2008 Kristen King

(image: SXC.hu)

Post from: EveryJoe

10 Things NOT to Do When Sending a PR Pitch

I’m only saying this because we’re friends, and I would be a bad friend if I didn’t tell you. And, you know, BECAUSE we’re friends, I feel like I can be totally honest with you about this: You need to put up a new photo or have no photo at all. You’re at WORK for goodness’ sake.

Seriously, we’ve been BFFs for, like, EVER, and even I am too embarrassed to link to you because you look like you’re at a FRAT party. Who cares that you graduated from an awesome school at the top of your class for undergrad and have a master’s degee at 25? The fact that you’re treating your LinkedIn profile like your MySpace page does NOT say anything good about your level of professionalism. (And did you miss the memo that MySpace is only cool if you’re 15??? Honey, please, you’re killing me here.)

Let me make it really simple:

• If I can see your cleavage, your photo should not be on LinkedIn.
• If I can see the part of your body where your leg connects to your butt, your photo should not be on LinkedIn.
• If you’re wearing 5 pounds of makeup, your photo should not be on LinkedIn.
• If you’re using a soft-focus lens, your photo should not be on LinkedIn.
• If the picture was taken while you were "out with the girls," your photo should not be on LinkedIn.

Need I go on? Grow. Up. If you want to be taken seriously, act like it. You’re putting yourself out there for the world to see, and your career is on the line. And so is the career of every person who connects to you.

You don’t have to wear a suit. You can be casual — just be nice-casual instead of slutty-casual.

Don’t be mad, okay? It’s just, you can do so much better. Love ya, hon.

Contents © Copyright 2008 Kristen King

Tags: women and business, women in business, women, woman, business, linkedin, linked in, online profile, social networking, business networking, professional networking, online image, glamour shot, photo, picture, avatar, skank, slut, ho, biz chicks rule, kristen king

Post from: EveryJoe

Great Profile, Bad Photo? Stop Shooting Yourself in the Foot Already

Great basic, down-to-earth tips Kristen. And what’s the next step? I’m OK (not great) at meeting new people, and exchanging cards, but it never goes anywhere, because I’m awful at follow-up. It seems everyone I meet is awful too because no matter how many cards I exchange I never hear from anyone, nor contact anyone.

Would love to hear post-networking-event advice!

Here at your favorite women’s business blog, we aim to please, so here we go.

I’m appalled, but not surprised, to learn that Heather never hears from anyone after a networking event. Surely someone gets the concept … but apparently not! Let’s solve this problem right now. Here are three things you need to know about following up after meeting a new contact:

• Following up with someone you meet at a networking event is not annoying, rude, or inappropriate. The reason they gave you a card is that they want to keep in touch with you.
• Following up does not have to be some big, elaborate thing. A quick e-mail or handwritten note that says, “Hi, So-and-So, It was great to meet you at EVENT. Please don’t hesitate to give me a call if I can ever be of assistance,” is totally fine.
• Following up is the only way to ensure that the relationship will go somewhere. If Heather’s experience is any indication, and I assure you that it is, you can’t count on the new people you meet to follow up after the fact. To maintain the relationship, even peripherally, will require action on your part.

Not sure what to say when you follow up? Here are recent follow-up notes I sent after returning from SOBCon08:

To: Chris Brogan
Subject: Overdue “nice to meet you”

Hey, Chris,

Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed meeting you at SOBCon. Your presentation was a blast and you are a super cool guy. Please let me know if I can ever do anything to help you out.

Cheers,
Kristen

To: Anita Bruzzese
Subject: Just following up on SOBCon08 and your book

Hey, Anita,

Thank you again for the review copy of 45 Things. I cannot put it down! I find myself laughing out loud and agreeing with you, apparently rather loudly, because my husband now things I’m a kook who talks to herself!

I so look forward to keeping in touch! I feel I really lucked out with you as my tablemate at SOBCon. :)

Cheers,
Kristen

To: Colleen Wainright
Subject: Great to meet you at SOBCon

Hi, Colleen,

Just wanted to drop a quick note and reiterate how nice it was to meet you at SOBCon. Will you be at BlogHer or BWE later this year?

Cheers,
Kristen King

Short, sweet, to the point. There’s even a formula, which you may have noticed:

• Include the name of the event in the subject and/or first line of the message.
• “It was nice to meet you” or “I enjoyed meeting you.”
• If you’ve taken too long to follow up, acknowledge it.
• Reference to something specific that happened at the event or will happen in the future.
• Offer something if you’ve got something to give (but don’t ask for a sale).
• Use your last name if you’re not certain they’ll remember you.
• Include a signature with your contact info.

Now it’s your turn. How do you follow up with new contacts? Leave a comment and show us how it’s done.

Contents © Copyright 2008 Kristen King

(image: Newscom)

Tags: women in business, women and business, women, woman, business, networking, professional networking, following up, follow up, new contact, biz chicks rule, kristen king

Post from: EveryJoe

Networking Crisis, Solved: How to Follow Up With a New Contact

I inserted a green arrow in the screenshot to show you where the problem lies. Here’s a closer look, highlighted by the yellow arrow:

Oy to the vey. Say it with me: SPELL CHECK. Do I even need to tell you how stupid these kinds of errors make you — and your business — look? I sincerely hope not!

Here are some of my favorite public oopses:

• "the figthing Irish" in an MSN ticker notice about Notre Dame football
• a recall of several thousand pounds of "tainted beef panties"
• "the final decision will be made at the desecration of your supervisor" in an e-mail from a boss I had in college
• "free unifrom with six-week class" in a flyer from a local karate school

Worst advertising typo you’ve ever seen (other than this one)? Leave a comment.

(screenshots from Biz Chicks Rule captured by yours truly)

Contents © Copyright 2008 Kristen King

Tags: women and business, women in business, women, woman, business, advertising, proofreading, embarrassing typo, advertising typo, typo in an ad, biz chicks rule, kristen king

Post from: EveryJoe

Why It’s Critical to Proofread Your Advertising Copy

Although there are tons of information available on the internet about blogging, what I’d like to submit to you is how blogging can be a source of referrals for your business, whether you are blogging on your own business or you are a corporate blogger.

Instead of regurgitating information that is all over the ‘net, I will highlight some fine resources that focus on blogging and the business of it:

Liz and Laura over at Business and Blogging get it right consistently when they blog about how your business can benefit from the blogging lifestyle. My favorite all-time post from there is the series they did on a challenge to come up with a business that could not benefit from blogging. Very interesting read and comments that followed. Check it out. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Then there is the uber-blogger, Darren Rowse, whose ProBlogger site give you the nuts and bolts of starting and monetizing your business blog. Good, solid foundation for newbies and seasoned professionals.

One other blog that I subscribe to that I have found most useful is Daily Blog Tips that gives just that…tips. Highly useful information if you are a daily blogger who wants serious tips and ways to make your blog stand out.

Now, armed with these wonderful resources, what do you do with it? I’ll tell you what I do with my blogging.

I made a list of blogs that I maintain, the theme of the blog, posting schedules and frequencies. I also make a schedule to market my blogs through online medias like MySpace, Twitter, FaceBook and about a half dozen or so others. The key to effective marketing is to work the blogging platforms and socialize on a daily basis at a minimum. It’s imperative to get your blog into the blogosphere with a well-connected personal branding image.

Blogging is definitely good for business, no matter which one. If you haven’t already started a blog, it’s easy to do and can be done almost immediately. What are you waiting for?

Other resources that are from women-owned sites or blogs:

Susan Gunelius at About Weblogs gives evergreen information on the blogging life.

A prolific and infectious community-minded blogger, Liz Strauss over at Successful Blog. Be warned: You visit once, you are hooked! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Post from: EveryJoe

Business Marketing Monday: Business Blogging