The point is that I suck at Fat Princes.

I downloaded the demo from the Playstation Network, very excited to finally try my hand at the game.

I selected the “play with yourself” option since I am new to this whole cake filled wonderment and didn’t want to embarrass myself. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that multiplayer is disabled if you’re just playing the demo. Like I said, I didn’t select that option so I don’t know for sure.

Boys are notorious for not reading the instructions and I guess I’m a guy since I didn’t read how to play the game – I just drove right in.

After one minute of watching the different characters run around my screen – each with an obvious mission that I was oblivious of – I was regretting my choice.

I ran around the screen for a good five minutes trying to figure out what my goal was and how to pick up stuff [what's with the controls?!] and since the game is called Fat Princess, I decided to go find said princess. And find her I did but she was a rather skinny princess and didn’t quite live up to the game’s title…until I spied a lonely piece of cake right outside my castle’s walls.

As I dashed through the gates, I was met by this blue bastard who attacked me and sent me back to where I started. What. The. Hell.

After some quick internet research, I realized that the princess in my castle wasn’t actually my princess but the other team’s and that I needed to keep their princess pleasantly plump so that she would be good and heavy and they would have a harder time stealing her back.

So I fed her. And I fed her. And I fed her.

And each time I came back with more cake, she was less fat than when I left her and every time I ventured out for more cake, I got killed.

My error was that Fat Princess is a team game.

Everyone has a role to play and you can’t do it all on your own. I don’t play well with others so team games aren’t my strong suit.

What’s funny is that I must be a glutton for punishment since I plan on buying Fat Princess.

There was just something about the way that the game is designed and the deceptively simple premise that endears it to me and makes me want to feed that damn princess.

Find IGN’s review of Fat Princess below.

Image|Sony

Post from: EveryJoe

I Suck at Fat Princess

I know. I know! It’s been out for a while now and heck, it’s even been re-released in a Game of the Year Edition.

Talk about being way over fashionably late to the party.

But you know, I’ve been in such a gaming funk here recently that nothing has interested me much. Well, not until today.

I downloaded the demo because I was procrastinating and I didn’t want to play anything that would tax me too much in the brain department.

After what seemed like fifty years [because I had to install 3 freakin' updates to my PS3], I was finally able to load the demo and it rocked.

First off, this was one of the longest demos that I’ve played in a while. I was able to play three different levels and a cool fan created level and I was able to go back and re-play the levels to try and get 100% on everything.

Even though the concept of the game is simple [it's a puzzle game with cute characters], I wasn’t bored. In fact, I was bummed when the demo ended and now I’m sitting here writing this and thinking about playing the demo again…at least until I can get my butt to the store and buy the Game of the Year Edition.

Image|Ign

Post from: EveryJoe

Little Big Planet: Big Time Suck

In all actuality, I was sitting on my couch with my laptop in my lap watching the Sony press conference live but still, like I was there!

Yes. I know. I’m a dork.

SO many cool things were introduced [PSPgo!!! $249.99 and Agent from Rockstar exclusive to PS3] and lots of cool videos were shown [Final Fantasy 14 Online *gasp* and Uncharted 2]. Also, demos were played [Assassin's Creed 2] and there was the announcement that 50 PSone games are coming to the PSN [Playstation Network and did you know that you can still buy a PSone on Amazon.com? Who knew?!]

All in all, it was a great press conference and I have obviously not listed each and every cool thing that was talked about today. If you’re interested in what I had to say on Twitter while watching the press conference then click on all of this for a link.

I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing what Sony is going to bring to the table this year.

Post from: EveryJoe

I was At E3…Online

The all-new Wolfenstein by id Software will be hitting the stores on 7th August on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC.

Ho Hum.

Image: id Software

Post from: EveryJoe

Wolfenstein, FPS Experience All Over Again

Developed by Sidhe, a New Zealand game studio, Shatter features leaderboards, trophies and 10 different worlds.

“We were inspired by classics in the genre, but were very aware of the limitations that most examples don’t overcome, which means they don’t reach the full potential possible,” said Mario Wynands, Managing Director of Sidhe. “We stripped brick-breaking back to the base elements, and rebuilt it from the ground up. The result is a much more connected and visceral experience.”

Can Shatter really shatters? We shall see then. Jump over to the link to see the trailer.

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/49224.html

Post from: EveryJoe

Shatter, Brick-breaking Game By Sidhe

With over 20 million registered users around the world, the PlayStation Network or PSN is huge but it doesn’t mean worldwide PS3 sales are better. In order to promote PS3 (sorta), Sony intends to introduce PSN to other hardware (think HDTV, laptops?) under its brand.

So if you don’t have the PS3 or PSP, you can still enjoy the online content but you still need a controller to play online games, if you know what I mean.

Via: Crunchgear
Image: Sony

Post from: EveryJoe

PlayStation Network On Other Sony Hardware

The character customization looks pretty sweet and the screens are what I expect out of a PS3 game-crisp, clean and with good detail.

Images|Sony Online Entertainment

Post from: EveryJoe

Eight Wheel of Fortune Screenshots

From the press release:

• PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system trophies
• Realistic graphics and sounds that make you feel like you’re on the actual game show set
• Nearly 9,000 puzzles to challenge your mind!
• Customizable characters
• Single-player, multiplayer and network/multiplayer modes
• Eleven different playable cities across America (Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Denver, Dallas, New Orleans, Charleston, Philadelphia and Fort Lauderdale)
• Studio sets and sound effects straight from the TV show!

Image|Sony Online Entertainment

Now, I’m not a big Wheel of Fortune fan, but there must be some out there for Sony to sock the $ into making this game and then releasing it. Then again, if you think about it, Sony doesn’t have to worry about packaging costs since they’re releasing it on the PSN.

Whatever.

Just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t mean that you won’t love it.

Post from: EveryJoe

Spin, Solve and Win with Wheel of Fortune

How unlucky can one get? TimeShift, a sci-fi FPS, is a veritable ghost town when one tries to play online multiplayer over at PlayStation Network. Interestingly, I’ve had the same experience while playing The Darkness. That’s right, no one is around for anyone to play with.

I took a picture as proof (see image), but it’s a bit blurry. From what can be seen, there is one game available but it can’t seem to be accessed no matter what.

Is this the price that PlayStation 3 owners pay for choosing free multiplayer? Does Xbox Live weave a different tale when it comes to TimeShift’s online multiplayer?

I sure hope not, especially since Xbox Live players pay a premium. If the Xbox Live premium is the price that gamers must pay just to get some online multiplayer action for TimeShift or The Darkness, then I just might make that change, provided that Microsoft can produce a RRoD-free Xbox 360.

Image: FPS Rantings
TimeShift is developed by Saber Interactive and published by Vivendi Games.

Post from: EveryJoe

TimeShift is another PSN ghost town

The multiplayer demo for the PlayStation 3 version of Lost Planet: Extreme Condition will appear on the U.S. PlayStation Network store today. This multiplayer demo features a single multiplayer map (titled Pirate Fortress) and support for only 8 players (the full game will support up to 16 players).

Despite the seemingly frugal number of maps, the demo sports two of the four multiplayer modes, Elimination (standard deathmatch mode) and Team Elimination. The retail version of Lost Planet for the PS3 will have four multiplayer modes altogether, including the two from the demo, plus Post Grab and Fugitive.

Lost Planet for the PS3 will arrive at retail starting Feb. 26.

Post from: EveryJoe

Lost Planet demo coming to U.S. PSN