South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson hastily apologized for shouting out, “You lie!” during President Obama’s health care speech to Congress last night.

Following Wilson’s outburst, there was an uncomfortable silence as every single politician in the chamber thought Wilson was talking to them.

The second-term Republican rep maintained he’d been confused that, with all the talk about national health care, he thought he was a member of the English Parliament where such outbursts during the prime minister’s speeches are considered routine.

Watching a Q&A session of British Parliament gives you the impression you’re watching a Monty Python sketch rather than any sort of functioning government. Which, come to think of it, is probably just as true in England as it is here in America.

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Gordon Brown’s greatest hits
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Such outbursts are considered rude when the President is speaking before Congress but, if we’re going to adopt British health care, we might as well start heckling during the President’s speeches, neglecting basic dental hygiene and boiling our food.

President Obama was his usual forceful self as he said “the time for bickering is over” and noted we could easily accomplish that task if all Americans just agreed with whatever he wanted to do.

The President went on to say his estimates for health care show it would “cost less than we have spent on the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.”

A day after raising the bar for school children around the country, President Obama lowered it for the purported adults in Washington by implicitly arguing Congress should greenlight every government project which costs less than 900 billion dollars.

Early suggestions for programs which would sneak in under the $900 billion threshold include a weekly airdrop of cash from Air Force One and free hookers for everyone over the age of 18.

As everyone had time to reflect on Representative Wilson’s faux pas, talk turned to what disciplinary measures might be taken.

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer suggested there was bipartisan support for some kind of punishment for Wilson’s breach of decorum but went on to say Charles Rangel would continue to be allowed to evade taxes and pay off ethics committee members.

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Members of the Congressional Clown College wave health care proposals during President’s speech — but only because Congressional rules prohibit hanging banners spray painted on sheets.

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Image: Zuma Press

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Post from: EveryJoe

Republican Rep Apologizes For Outburst

In a stunning move, Sarah Palin today announced she was planning to resign the governorship of Alaska in a few weeks in order to concentrate her efforts on a second career as a product pitch person for such well-known products as Oxy-Clean and the ShamWow.

Either that or she’s going to run for President in 2012.

Palin made the announcement at press conference held in her Wasilla home in a surprise move sure to delight Democrats and Republicans alike.

Republicans are said to be overjoyed that the most exciting personality they have will be able to devote more time toward a Presidential bid and have a full four years to learn to string together coherent sentences.

Democrats are tickled pink that Palin will be a loose cannon criss-crossing the country and Tina Fey will remain on Saturday Night Live for the foreseeable future.

Palin has announced plans to travel the country by helicopter and take potshots at roving herds of animals and gatherings of more than six registered Democrats.

In a couple of related stories, Katie Couric’s contract has been extended and Hillary Clinton has announced plans to hang herself.

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“Gotcha! And I’m tellin’ ya, I’m gonna be surprisin’ ya on a more regular basis goin’ forward…”
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Image: Zuma Press

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Post from: EveryJoe

‘Here’s A Surprise For Ya … I Resign!’