Last night’s Monday Night Raw had a pleading message from Shane McMahon, a big time title change, a title rematch, a touching tribute to a local legend, the imposition of martial law, and the overarching theme of anarchy. Why anarchy? Well, what RAW didn’t have was a GM given Mr. McMahon’s “tragic accident”.

As a result the inmates ran the asylum. And how do the RAW inmates run their Oklahoma City asylum? They prefer comedy skits, long stretches on the microphone, and as little wrestling as possible. As far as wrestling and results go there is precious little to report today. Drama and storyline on the other hand…

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WWE RAW Results 6/16/08

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Who could the WWE bring out alongside Vince McMahon to make the chairman look smart? Who could they put next to him that makes his delayed dialing synapses look lightning quick? There’s only one person:

Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Duggan is in a tux and so is his 2×4. My IQ has just dropped about 40 points.

Jeff Hardy def. Carlito
We’re already at RAW’s halfway point and this is only the second match. Thankfully, it’s good. Carlito brings his A game and the two work well together. During the match our favorite high flyer takes 4 blind leaps from the top rope and finally pins Carlito after a well-executed Swanton Bomb. As he leaves the ring Jeff looks exhausted and in pain. We worry about his health and the toll all those high risk moves must inflict. Nobody puts his body through week-to-week rigor that Jeff does and his sacrifice is why he is so loved.

Chris Jericho segment
John Cena and Chris Jericho are the WWE’s best talkers and they’ve both been featured tonight on the mic. Cena’s segment led to a great match but Jericho’s seems to be heading elsewhere; we don’t think he’s going to fight Shawn Michaels tonight. Y2J gets off to a rousing start calling the Salt Lake City crowd morally corrupt, blaming them for his rage, and telling them that they don’t want to be saved. He tells them that through they’ve ostracized him through their judgmental booing. They’ve forced him to punish Shawn Michaels for their sins. HBK’s blood will be on their hands.

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I recently updated my b5 profile with the intention of explaining how www.jabandgrapple.com could cover both the scripted fun of pro wrestling entertainment and the unexpected life-threating tension of professional boxing. My answer wasn’t that they both take place in rings and involve some sort of combat.

No, my explanation was that they are bookends of the sporting world with everything else existing in between their emotional bounds. Friday night was evidence of this evocative breadth. WWE’s SmackDown and ESPN’s Friday Night Fights were broadcast simultaneously and my Motorola DVR only allowed me to watch one at a time while taping both. I was forced to delve into both without distraction.

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Two terrific interviews have appeared out there in cyberspace over the past few days revealing a great deal about the underbelly of pro wrestling.

Over on fighthype.com there is an interview with former WWE writer Christopher Bell, director of the soon to be released documentary Bigger, Stronger, Faster*. He talks about which drug he thinks is the scourge of pro wrestling and definitively states the muscular legitimacy of one WWE Superstar. Here’s some hints: it’s not steroids and the wrestler in question made a triumphant return last RAW.

Image details: World Champ Wrestling.jpg served by picapp.com

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• Dark match: Kane won a 24-man Interpromotional Battle Royal
• John “Bradshaw” Layfield defeated Finlay (w/Hornswoggle) in a Belfast Brawl
• CM Punk defeated Shelton Benjamin, Chris Jericho, Carlito, Montel Vontavious Porter (MVP), Mr. Kennedy and John Morrison in a Money in the Bank ladder match
• Batista defeated Umaga
• Kane defeated Chavo Guerrero to win the ECW Championship
• Shawn Michaels defeated Ric Flair
• Beth Phoenix and Melina (w/Santino Marella) defeated Maria and Ashley in a Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjill match
• Randy Orton defeated Triple H and John Cena in a Triple Threat match to retain the WWE Championship
• Floyd Mayweather, Jr. defeated The Big Show in a No Disqualification match via knockout
• The Undertaker defeated Edge to win the World Heavyweight Championship

Ric Flair was defeated by Shawn Michaels tonight at Wrestlemania 24 and has retired.

Up next: Bunnymania Lumberjack Match

• Triple Threat match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H vs. John Cena
• World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. The Undertaker
• Money in the Bank ladder match: Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho vs. Carlito vs. MVP vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison
• No Disqualification match: Floyd “Money” Mayweather vs. The Big Show
• Umaga vs. Batista
• Career threatening match: Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
• Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjack match: Maria and Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix and Melina[43]
• Belfast Brawl: Finlay vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield
• ECW Championship: Chavo Guerrero (c) vs. TBD
• Pre-show: 24-man Interpromotional Battle Royal (Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Deuce, Domino, Tommy Dreamer, Jim Duggan, Festus, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Kane, Brian Kendrick, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Shannon Moore, Trevor Murdoch, Jamie Noble, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, Snitsky, Stevie Richards, Val Venis and Jimmy Wang Yang)

• United States Champion MVP & Carlito def. Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho & CM Punk
• The Great Khali def. Hardcore Holly
• Santino Marella, Melina & Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix def. Jerry “The King” Lawler, Maria & Ashley in an Intergender Tag Team Match
• Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Triple H & John Cena def. Umaga, John “Bradshaw” Layfield, The Big Show & WWE Champion Randy Orton in a No-Disqualification WrestleMania Showcase Match

Th main event this week on Raw was definitely above average in my book with Batista attacking Umaga and Finlay assaulting JBL but the hype for Wrestlemania doesn’t feel any bigger now then when the Big Show-Mayweather match storyline began or the triple-threat WWE Championship main event was set up. Right now I am most looking forward to Flair’s career threatening match with HBK (as surprised as I am to say that), the Money in the Bank match (though it would have been much better in my eyes had Jeff Hardy not been suspended), and the Heavyweight Championship match between Undertaker and Edge. I think last year’s Wrestlemania will be hard to top and perhaps that has made me feel slighted on the promotion of this one but I hope the outside feel will make this Wrestlemania one to remember.