I mean, I’m not about to stop you if you buy it, but Mr Parish will not be held responsible for your loss of money or equilibrium. Commando: Steel Disaster, which previously looked like a cute shooter, still looks like a cute shooter. But looks can be deceiving, friend.
“See, it’s funny that it’s called Steel Disaster, because it’s both stolen and a disaster.” – Nich Maragos

Mortal Kombat generally has a dismal history on handheld systems. Meaning, most portable editions of the games are good for throwing under the feet of old people as they shuffle off the bus, but not much else.
So let’s counter those bite-sized curses with a great parody. Video game-related humour is thick on the Internet, but rarely are the production values worth talking about. That changes now.

See more gamer videos at PWN or DIE

One aspect of handheld gaming I really need more exposure in is homebrew, because God knows it’s a huge part of the portable experience.
Nintendo and Sony aren’t exactly cheerleaders for the homebrew movement; they probably feel much the same way as a father who gave their son a toolkit as a present, only to watch him start drilling holes in the grandfather clock to see what makes it tick.

My fellow blogger and trusted bank-robbing assistant Bob Mackey recently vented his frustrations about Final Fantasy IV DS’ twisted idea of a challenge.
It’s an interesting read because I agree with it. As far as challenge goes, I think that Final Fantasy IV DS is mostly balanced. Mostly. Enemies are craftier, but you have a map system that rewards you for exploration. Magic spells hit harder, but you can multicast Shell and Protect. Bosses whip out twisted counters the likes of which the civilised world has never seen, but almost every single baddie is vulnerable to “Slow” (and if a …read more

Aw ESRB, why you gotta hate on a brilliant game ad for an “undisclosed handheld guitar game?” (Cough, Jam Sessions.) You silly, stuffy geeses.

I don’t see anything controversial about listening to some good ol’ soul-affirming music. Nor do I see a problem with rolling half-naked in the streets to said music like mange-afflicted dogs on meth.
If you’re only interested in the video’s sleeze factor, hit the jump for a handy director’s cut.

The DS is a very JRPG-heavy system, which is both a dandy and tiresome trait. In fact, the state of the RPG genre on the DS resembles the Great Valley from The Land Before Time; a flourishing streak of hopeful green in a hostile world. The world within the borders is small, but healthy and happy.
However, with prosperity comes overcrowding and the necessity to eat one’s own offspring. RPGs are not capable of consumption, but they can spawn imitators faster than a jackrabbit orgy. For every truly original RPG, there are about ten that need to crawl into the thicket …read more

Hey, know what you can do when you’re stuck on a train? You can play your DS!
And…you…
Can play your DS.
I made some significant progress on Final Fantasy IV DS. For example, I learned that Leviathan is a son of a bitch (son of a…whale? Son of a hydra?) and I’m far too low in level to take him down.

I know you’re all going to die of jealousy when I open my mouth and say this, but here goes: I get to spend twenty four hours on a choo-choo train. Approximately five of those will be spent haggling with US Customs over absolutely nothing.
I’ll be attending Otakon in Baltimore. It stands for otaku convention, you know.
This means I’ll be updating sporadically for the rest of the week, though I will try to keep on top of things because I adore you all so very much. I’ll also say this much: I’m going to have a hell of an opportunity …read more

You deserve a break today. Go ahead and play with the Lifesigns Manga Creator.
I never played Lifesigns: Hospital Affairs for the Nintendo DS. You probably didn’t, either. Lifesigns re-defined simulator games in its native Japan, but it was dismissed as a Trauma Center also-ran in America.

The Telegraph launched its new game page with some insight on game designer Shigeru Miyamoto and some sales figures for the Wii and Nintendo DS.
(Hint: they print money.)
Miyamoto also doled out some advice for game developers aspiring for his special brand of fairy magic: “[You] should be looking at humans.”