The news tore (like his pectoral) through the wrestling world: “Poor John Cena has suffered another sidelining injury, a herniate disk in his neck, and will need surgery.”

The WWE ran a ticker during it’s ECW alerting fans to this heinous turn of events. In somber voice on RAW GM Mike Adamle told fans that Batista monstrous Batista Bombas at Summer Slam caused the injury. (Adamle’s conclusion was, of course, untrue but it does prop up the Animal’s abilities.)

The wrestling rags even reported that the news spread to the pages of the Wall Street Journal although searches of the wsj.com website brought nothing.

Cena’s surgery should keep him out for the remainder of the year and perhaps shows that he came back too early from his pectoral injury. That setback was caused by the injury-prone WWE Superstar Mr. Kennedy who had his own shoulder dislocated just a few weeks ago against Shelton Benjamin.

Kennedy also recently had surgery and will miss months of action. Maybe Cena will throw him a bone and a part in his next movie. They need something to do over the course of the next few weeks!

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Superstars Out for the Injury Count

MVP def. Jimmy Wang Yang
Mr. Kennedy def. Shelton Benjamin

Yes, it wasn’t just Tuesday night’s ECW event that we attended. The good people from the WWE also filmed SmackDown three nights ago in Hershey, Pennsylania. And we were there. Here are more of Mr. and Mrs. Jabandgrapple’s live and in real time musings.

1. Jimmy Wang Yang’s entrance music comes on before the show has even started. What is going on? Is he going to wrestle Mick Foley or Jim Ross?

2. SmackDown starts are Jeff Hardy appears. The Ultimate Risk Taker is even more dynamic in person. We love you Jeff Hardy His theme music comes on and we everybody in the Giant Center goes craaaaaaazy. Is he wrestling Wang Yang?

3. The WWE tech people work frantically to assemble MVP’s entrance tunnel, which isn’t that impressive anyway. Is he wrestling Wang Yang AND Jeff Hardy?

4. MVP keeps insulting Jeff Hardy and at this point Mrs. JandG throws some vulgar expletives down towards ringside. After watching the broadcast we’re thankful the WWE’s mics didn’t pick up those choice words.

5. It’s finally evident that MVP is the one fighting Wang Yang. He makes short work of him and we’re waiting for the fireworks between him and Hardy. Let it also be known that the indoor fireworks that accompany your favorite wrestler are FAR louder than they appear in person. Our hearing is still recovering.

6. The biggest cheer of the night comes when Jeff tells MVP to NEVER EVER EVER talk about the fire, about his home, or about his dog Jack. Jeff then hits a choice Twist of Fate and announces YOU MAKE ME SICK! We jump up out of our seats and yell at the top of our lungs, “YEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHH” We both actually just repeated that yell right now!

7. Mr. Kennedy says we’re waiting for him to say three words. We wonder what the third word is. Is it Mister Mister Kennedy? or Mister Kennedy Kennedy?

8. Mick Foley admits on air that he listened to Tori Amos to get hyped up for matches. Let’s just say that suspect choice of songs explains a lot about what happens at the end of tonight’s SmackDown…

9. While we watched the Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin match I said “This is the type of technical, highly skilled grappling that true wrestling fans love. So pay attention. It will be a lot more exciting on TV.” (And I was right!) Still, the Mrs. yawned wondering “Well then, why don’t these two don’t involve the crowd more?” I gotta agree.

10. Mrs. JandG labels this contest “The Clairol Match” because both competitors ridiculous sport a amount of hair dye. Shelton’s roots are far less visible making him the pejorative favorite.

11. Benjamin hits a great cross body leap of the top rope but it’s not enough. Mr. Kennedy lands a Mic Check with puts the United States champion out for the count. Sadly, it’s a non-title match and his victory in the best match of the night means nothing.

12. Post match, the astoundingly beautiful Eve Torres approaches the ring. At the quietest moment of the night I yell “I LOVE YOU EVE TORRES” at my lungs’ peak. It doesn’t make it onto air.

13. We’re really impressed by how dexterous and fast Eve moves back to the dressing room in her ridiculously high heels. (5 inches?) BTW, her quickness had nothing to do with my professed love. Just saying.

Post from: EveryJoe

8/1/08 WWE SmackDown: We Were There Again Part One

M.V.P. holds a V.I.P. Lounge with Jeff Hardy.
Shelton Benjamin def. Jimmy Wang Yang
Jesse and Festus def. Ryder and Hawkins

Segment One
M.V.P. is tired. His V.I.P. Lounge is even tired-er. His guest, on the other hand, is the best-est of the best: Jeff Hardy! The Ultimate Thrill Seeker seems to be taking some chances with his hair color which has shifted to a grandmother-worthy blue. M.V.P. announces the night’s Main Event: a huge Battle Royale with seemingly every SmackDown superstar.

Jeff Hardy wonders how M.V.P. can be so confident despite the fact that he’s become a jobber. M.V.P. then insults Jeff Hardy’s house fire which REALLY REALLY crosses the line. If he mentions Jeff’s late dog then I am going to hunt M.V.P. down. Oh, no he didn’t! He did mention Jeff’s dog Jack. I am stopping this live blog now and going to the Harrisburg train station to get a ticket to Philadelphia’s Wachovia Center.

What’s that Mrs. Jabandgrapple? “They filmed this show on Tuesday, M.V.P. is long gone.” I retort, “But we have tickets to this Tuesday’s ECW/Smackdown taping in Hershey. I’ll get him then!” She counters, “Sure you will honey, sure you will.”

Hardy beats me to the punch and hits M.V.P. himself. This segment was far too personal and ire-inducing for my taste. MY BLOOD IS BOILING! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH.

Then a Gossip Girl preview comes on and my anger dies down. I love that show. My accompanying picture? It’s Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively and a dog, in loving memory of Jeff Hardy’s Jack.

Segment Two
When Mr. Jabandgrapple’s personal favorite Shelton Benjamin earned the U.S. Champion belt he wasn’t interested in him fighting people like Jimmy Yang Wang, the redneck Asian. Benjamin pins Wang Yang before I can life my head from my computer.

After the match Edge attempts to congratulate Hawkins and Ryder on their Tag Team Title but the Edgeheads ignore and ostracize their former idol. It’s all too sad for words. What did Edge do to deserve this? Mrs. Jabandgrapple offers, “Well, he cheated on his bride with the wedding planner and then violently Speared her on their wedding night. And not in a good way.”

Oh. I stand corrected.

Segment Three
New Tag Team Champs Ryder and Hawkins prove that unless you’re wrestling singles in the WWE than your title means nothing. This ain’t TNA Impact! thank heavens. The Edgeheads are facing Jesse and Festus or rather one insane and powerful wrestler and his diminutive handler. We really miss you Road Warriors and Wild Samoans.

Festus easily pins Zach Ryder but doesn’t gain the belt because it’s not a title matchup. The bell rings, Mick Foley makes an Anita Ward reference (great great song; the youngsters might know it as a Fresh Prince sample), and Ryder and Hawkins predictably beat up on the poor simpleton Festus.

Post from: EveryJoe

7/25 WWE SmackDown Part One: Ring My Bell Blake Lively

Match Number Eight
Triple H vs. Edge

for the WWE Championship

Triple H Wins

A WWE phone poll says 55% have more sympathy for Edge while 45% side with Vickie. We can’t believe that many people are with Vickie. Really surprising. Another Eve Torres moment…

…

…

Where were we? Edge comes out with nearly as much greasy wet hair as his opponent. The greasy hair gap has been closed. Edge to Edge. The bell rings and Edge rushes at him with the intensity of a woman scorned. Triple H easily eschews his impetuousness and starts the assumed beat down.

The entire front row has turned away from the ring and is waving to the cameras. Tells you something about the excitement level of the match, no?

Edge gains control of the match after slamming HHH into the ringside stairs. He pounces on Triple H outside the ring and slams him into an announcer’s booth. Edge has HHH into a body scissors subsmission hold. We’re hoping somebody appears soon to liven to the match up be it Vickie, The Undertaker, or maybe both.

There’s been some good back and forth but little drama. There we go. Edge hits a nice DDT on HHH outside the ring. Nothing amps up the fun like a near double count out. Edge pushes the de-energized HHH into the ring and goes for the pin. 1-2 and not quite 3.

HHH catapults Edge into the turnbuckle and lands a DDT of his own. No pin though. HHH keeps favoring his ribs. Could he be on hiatus for a baby birth as well?

At this point both men are woozy. HHH eludes a rushing spear and then another countering the last with a Double Edge Spine Buster. He can’t finish him with the Pedigree though. Now Edge is going for a debilitating Superplex. Success. But as Mrs. JandG explains, “That move is stupid, it hurts them both equally.”

Alicia Fox a/k/a The Wedding Planner rushes to the ring and grabs the belt. She’s followed by Vickie Guerrero and those two engage in a heated cat fight. Edge looks to break it up and lands a vicious spear on his wife. Edge is in shock and Triple H capitalizes. He lands a Pedigree and pins Edge. Night over about fifteen minutes early. We wonder, did Triple H hurt his ribs and ask for the match to end? Hard to say.

***

Match Number Seven
John Cena vs. JBL

in a NYC Parking Lot Brawl

JBL Wins

OK, so it’s not exactly a parking lot, it’s more like the bowels of the Nassau Coliseum. JBL is armed with a crowbar and wearing a dress shirt and tie. Thank heavens we don’t have to see his boobies. This match is in no way live.

JBL is searching everywhere for Cena who is in the driver’s seat of of Lincoln which hurtles into the Ford JBL is standing on. Product placement. Cena jumps at JBL armed with jumper cables which he attaches to JBL’s privates and connects to the car’s battery. Electric relaxation!

Cena’s next implement of destruction is a beer keg which he smashes into a car window. JBL escapes to the front seat where Cena slams his head into the wheel numerous times.

JBL lands his first successful move when he slams Cena into a car door which promptly breaks off. Mama JandG says “He should body slam him into the limousine’s bull horns.” My mom has some kind of imagination. She continues, “Cindy Rowe (a Harrisburg-area auto glass repair shop) is going to make out with this match!”

JBL’s attempts to pin Cena are unsuccessful so he grabs a crowbar and begins smashing windows. He puts Cena into the back seat of a Ford and grabs a gasoline container from his limo. He pours the fuel onto the Ford, pops open his zippo, and lights the car on fire. WWE employees immediately appear with fire extinguishers.

Cena jumps out of the car refreshed. He puts JBL in another Ford and hops onto a forklift. He’s carrying the car into the ring! This match is finally going to happen with a live audience. The painful silence is over. Thank heavens. The bout was live after all.

This match has been all flash with little reward. Cena looks up to the clock to make sure he can end it. He hits a five knuckle shuffle but before he hits the STFU JBL tosses him into the car’s windshield which immediately shatters. JBL pins the, um, shattered Cena. This bout was a stupid cartoon imitation of a wrestling match and not nearly as interesting as it might read. May they never fight again. Please. Worst match of the night. Mrs. JandG says “Stink-O-Rama.”

Both fighters look visibly hurt, probably just cuts from the windshield glass.

***

Match Number Six
CM Punk vs. Batista

for the World Heavyweight Championship

Double Disqualification because Kane interferes; Punk retains title.

So you’re telling me that the World Heavyweight Championship gets a lower billing than the Cena-JBL non-title match? Or is that match not happening? And why is Punk coming out first? Isn’t he the title holder? No respect at all.

This match is definitely a make or break match for Punk. I don’t think it’s going to happen. Mama JandG concurs, “If that little guy beats Batista then something’s up.”

Papa JandG says “Punk’s going to win this. I’m telling you.” This is a contentious house. So far the match’s action feels awfully forced and pretty unrealistic. Batista lands a powerful suplex and now has Punk in a Camel Clutch. Batista looks like he is enjoying beating Punk up. Mama JandG is also enjoying the match, “That Batista sure is put together!”

The Animal goes for the Batista Bomb but is too close to the ropes. Punk is on the move now and hits Batista with a kick to the side of the head. 1-2 and not quite 3. The Animal kicks out. Punk almost land another fall after splashing Batista from the top rope. Batista then counters and almost takes the Straight Edge One down.

Batista’s next move is a vicious clothesline and things are getting good now. The action is outside the ring. Batista has Punk hurt and pushes him into the ring for the easy pin but Kane interferes, choke slams Punk, and the ref ends the match with a double DQ.

Kane again mutters “Is he alive or is he dead?” before ruthlessly knocking out a cameraman with a swift boot. He leaves the ring area where Heavyweight Champ Punk is still reeling with a bloody mouth. The Animal re-enters the ring and lands a convincing Batista Bomb. Punk can’t keep the title for much longer. He’s proving to be a boy amongst men.

***

Match Number Five
Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

for the SmackDown Divas Championship

Michelle McCool Wins

How do you follow an epic, bloody match between two veteran hall of famers? That’s right. A WWE Divas match. Natalya has McCool in a really cool looking move called a Surfboard. Mrs. JandG remarks, “That Michelle McCool is awfully flexible.” Um, um, what do you say to that?

Natalya puts McCool into a Sharpshooter but McCool is able to get the the ropes. McCool gets Natalya into a Brazilian heel hook and the Anvil’s daughter taps out far too soon. The wrong person won.

After the match Eve Torres enters the ring dressed in a stunning short yellow dress. But before I can ogle any more Chris Jericho disrupts the night’s most perfect moment by announcing that Shawn Michaels has a detached retina and is done. Hasn’t Y2J received an advance copy of Four Kings? Doesn’t he know that Sugar Ray Leonard fought like a dozen fights with that same injury? Evidently not. This feud is not over.

***

Match Number Four
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho Wins

It’s the match we’ve all been waiting for! So soon in the broadcast? Jericho enters the ring with a very intimidating vest. HBK comes in in all orange and a cowboy hat. Has his eye healed? They stare down as if they’re in love for about 15 seconds. It’s on.

Michaels is already grabbing his ribs as if he is hurt. What a faker! HBK quickly puts Y2J into a figure four leg lock. The match is all about the throwback. Jericho hits a great drop kick off the second rope and then grabs his knee. Mama JandG says “These guys are real complainers.” She continues “Can you imagine how sweaty Shawn is in those leather pants?” No we can’t.

This match is already living up to our expectations. Both competitors have landed a series of terrific moves. The momentum is building at a wonderfully steady pace. Y2J hits a Walls of Jericho but it looks like HBK is going to get to the ropes. He does.

Near fall after HBK nails Y2J with a powerful forearm. He’s now traveled to the top rope. Y2J sprints over to the ropes, shaking HBK’s vitals down onto the turnbuckle. Shawn looks to be turning purple. They’re now grappling from the top of the turnbuckle. HBK kicks him off and hits an elbow to Jericho’s heart. Instead of the pin he amps up the crowd.

Lance Cade tries to interfere but HBK easily disposes of him. There are two neat counters from both wrestlers which almost result in pins. Michaels then does a backflip FROM THE TOP ROPE onto Cade and Jericho who are standing outside of the ring. Wowee zowee.

HBK’s eye has been split open and is bleeding profusely! Jericho sees it and goes on the attack. The spewing blood is making for great drama. The ref wants to stop the match but Michaels is too much of a man.

Y2J headbutts the cut and punches the cut. He’s gleefully inflicting injury. The camera zooms in on HBK’s face and we’re straining to find the gash. HBK is in a bad way. He’s hanging on for dear life grabbing onto the front of Jericho’s trunks. The ref puts an end to the action; Michaels’ eye has been through too much.

The medical staff comes in to help Michaels but curiously they do not wipe the blood off his face or tend to the cut. Great match but I wish they would have let it go on.

***

Match Number Three
Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

for the ECW Championship

Mark Henry Wins

Big big surprises so far. Two title changes in two huge upsets. This pay-per-view has had a terrific start…until now. Mark Henry enters the ring with Tony Atlas. Tommy Dreamer follows with Colin Delaney.

Mr. Jabandgrapple’s mom starts laughing hysterically. “That guy is so big. He’s like a brick wall!” Announcer Tazz announces “Mark Henry is a brick wall.” Eerie. So eerie.

Mama JandG continues “This is so hard to watch. Mark Henry looks like he is breaking his arm. Why isn’t Dreamer screaming in pain? Scream, Dreamer, scream!”

The room breaks into audible Nooooo! as Henry looks to flop onto Dreamer. Tommy eludes him at the last second. Tommy Dreamer seems like he is in control on the top rope. He lets out a Tarzan scream and is going to finish Henry off.

But no! Colin Delaney double crosses his mentor, grabs Dreamer’s arm and the ECW original goes flying into the canvas. Henry pins him easily as Delaney walks off with snarly self satisfaction. We didn’t see that twist coming.

***

Match Number Two
Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

for the United States Championship

Shelton Benjamin Wins

This match was not announced! We are pleasantly delighted. This one is for the technical wrestling fans. These two fought a few weeks ago in an underwhelming SmackDown match. Let’s hope this one is an improvement.

There’s been a lot of holds. Hardy has spent most of the time outside the ring and/or in pain. Benjamin continues the punishment. He’s clearly going to lose.

Shelton has Matt in a submission hold and the crowd is chanting for a Hardy resurrection. I yell at Papa Jabandgrapple to “watch the match and stop doing a crossword puzzle!” Mrs. JandG says “This match is painfully boring, you can’t force it on anyone.”

I say, “But what about Benjamin’s terrific kick out of nowhere that just happened and Hardy’s super body slam and resulting leg drop from the top rope?”

“Not enough, but Gold Standard’s catch of Hardy and toss into the turnbuckle was pretty cool.”

Hardy’s had two 2 7/8 near falls and the match is picking up. Hardy goes for a moonsaw and Benjamin catches him in the face with his knees. The Gold Standard then hits a Paydirt and Hardy is out. 1-2-3 pin. New United States Champion.

***

Match Number One
Miz and Morrison vs. Finlay and Hornswaggle vs. Jesse and Festus vs. Ryder and Hawkins

in a WWE Tag Team Championship Fatal Four Way

Ryder and Hawkins Win

This opening match surprises me. I thought Mark Henry would be starting this one off. The bell rings, Festus goes crazy and everyone clears the ring…except Hornswaggle. The little leprechaun flies out of the ring and now The Miz is facing the Of Mice and Men lead character.

Hawkins and Ryder have just made their first entry in the ring on an unintentional tag for Morrison. The fun has just nosedived as the Edgeheads pound and hold.

There are far too many tags for me to keep up with by the way. Morrison does an attractive leap over the top rope to fell Finlay. Miz and Morrison have become a terrific tag team and really deserve this win. Finlay almost pins Ryder but Miz and Morrison break the fall. Ryder then almost pins Finlay but Hornswaggle breaks it up. Will there be a pin tonight?

Indeed there is. Miz and Morrison enter the ring too quickly to break up a Festus pin of Hawkins. Hawkins then pulls Jesse into the ring, pins him, and gains the WWE Tag Team Title. Mrs. Jabandgrapple is disgusted. She says, “I hate when mediocrity is rewarded!” We have to agree.

***

Not even a Pennsylvania summer thunder storm can stop me. www.jabandgrapple.com’s internet coverage was out until 7:56 p.m. but it’s on now! The Great American Bash live blog is about to begin.

Post from: EveryJoe

Great American Bash 2008 Live Blog

Edge and Vickie Guerrero engage in some break-up arguments
Shelton Benjamin def. Matt Hardy
Mr. Kennedy def. Domino
Chavo Guerrero and Edge have a man to man conversation
Chavo and Vickie discuss Edge

Image details: Bride and Groom Having Disagreement served by picapp.com

Segment One:
Edge is tortured. The wedding is off. Edge gives orders, he doesn’t take orders. The wedding is off. Edge is his own man. Now he’s happy. Vickie Guerrero is not good enough for him. Mrs. Jabandgrapple says “word”. The wedding is off. The Baton Rouge crowd still thinks he sucks.

Here comes Vickie wheeled in by Ryder and Hawkins. The crowd thinks she sucks more than Edge. Which is saying a lot. She’s putting the verbal smackdown, as it were, on Edge. She’s forcing Edge to fight the Big Show tonight in a non-disqualification match. So much for standing by your man. The wedding is still off.

Edge counters with “At the end of the night The Big Show is going to be just like you Vickie…a loser!” She cuts his mike. We’re excited for the Main Event and enjoy the squabbling pair who obviously still love each other.

Segment Two:
Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
Shelton is one of jabandgrapple.com’s favorite wrestlers. We’re hoping he gets a push. Before that Mick and JR kiss head writer and former Fabulous Freebird Michael Hayes’ butt with some compliments. Doesn’t that guy already have everything?

Shelton and Matt are engaging in a lot of center of the ring holds. The match started slow but it’s gaining momentum and the crowd is getting into it. Benjamin is partaking in a lot of risky rope leaping but Hardy is not taking advantage. The Gold Standard hits a powerful and unexpected Paydirt (?) and Hardy is out for the count. This was an surprising and abrupt win for Shelton Benjamin.

Segment Three:
Mr. Kennedy is fighting Domino but angers M.V.P. who is doing some co-announcing with JR and Mick. Kennedy is dominating this battle and the brand’s new additions are all looking good. SmackDown is quickly replacing RAW as my favorite show. Kennedy downs Domino with a Mic Check and taunts M.V.P. just a bit. Kennedy is then surprised by Umaga who Samoan Spikes him to M.V.P.’s delight.

Segment Four:
Chavo Guerrero is going to settle the score with Edge and Vickie and make things right. Maybe the wedding isn’t completely off after all…

Segment Five:
Chavo intervenes with Vickie by calling Edge names. Doesn’t he know that this is broadcast on TV? Edge must have a DVR. He says “We’re both Guerreros,” but Vickie isn’t having it. She tells Chavo he’s fighting HHH. Oooooof.

Post from: EveryJoe

7/11 WWE SmackDown Part One: The Wedding Is Still Off

Tonight is the WWE 2008 Draft (see photo of Draft Horses) and it couldn’t have come at a better time. RAW and SmackDown have descended into a long period of stagnation. Every week we get the same matches, the same winners, and the same losers. Things are changing tonight with a special three hour RAW. There have been no telling spoilers regarding the event and it seems not even the wrestlers themselves no if they are changing brands or not.

We’re not going to make any predictions but we are going to make a list of ten changes we would like to see happen at the draft. Please comment below with your own thoughts or hopes. Not sure who is in which brand? The WWE.com has a fun flash game where you can move your favorite superstars from brand to brand. Just click to http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/wwedraft2008/fantasydraft/.

1. No more JBL vs. John Cena matches. Everyone is sick of boring matches these two give us what seem to be every week. The best way to stop them would be to move JBL to ECW purgatory.
2. Stop Umaga’s descent into a high-level jobber. When exactly was the last time Umaga won? Move him to SmackDown and throw him into the Big Show-Mark Henry-Kane big man brawl.
3. Give Natalya a good rival and competitor in the SmackDown Women’s Title hunt. Who better than Beth Phoenix? She’s lost far too many times to Mickie James to still be a viable RAW entity. She moves to SmackDown and she’s back to claim her rightly throne again.
4. Give MVP his wish and let him leave SmackDown. If you send him to RAW he’ll run into the same outside rut he’s in at SmackDown. Move him to ECW and let MVP be the big fish in a small pond.
5. Move Shelton Benjamin away from ECW. He’s been the Pro Wrestling Observer’s Most Underrated wrestler for three years running now. He’s not going to be facing Kane for the ECW title anytime soon. Move him back to RAW. He’s big and strong enough to fight their top level guys -John Cena, the Randy Orton, and Triple H – and if given another chance he could up his game.
6. Let some perennial losers have a chance to lose elsewhere. I guess this is the point of the draft, actually. Shuffle Snitsky, Chuck Palumbo, and Paul London.
7. Reunite the Hardy Boyz. Bring Jeff over to SmackDown. Let the magic happen again. The rainbow-haired warrior is much better suited to Friday nights anyway.
8. More high flyers to SmackDown just in time for the return of Rey Mysterio. If Jeff Hardy is coming over why not bring Kofi Kingston and/or Evan Bourne along with him?
9. Give RAW another Big Dog. Why not Batista? he hasn’t been there since 2005 and would give Triple H or Cena a great adversary. We haven’t seen those matches in a while.
10. More rough and tumble brawlers to RAW. We like the pair of the tested Finlay and the untested Bam Neely. How that would effect Hornswaggle and La Familia would be hard to tell but it would be fun.
BONUS Send Mike Adamle away. Far, far away.

That would leave the following influx:
To RAW: Batista, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Bam Neely, and Chuck Palumbo
To SmackDown: Jeff Hardy, Umaga, Kofi Kingston, Beth Phoenix, and Paul London
To ECW: JBL, MVP, and Snitsky

Your thoughts or wishes? Comment below!

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE 2008 Draft Tonight! Our Wish List and Preview

Hornswaggle def. Armando Estrada
Evan Bourne def. Matt Stryker
Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox ended when Shelton Benjamin enters ring
CM Punk def. Morrison

I don’t know why ECW gets a bad rap. This week’s show once again trumped Monday Night RAW in terms of excitement and good wrestling. Heck, it fit the same number of matches into one hour than last night’s show fit into two. FYI, I’m not counting RAW’s 12 second tag team bout as a match. It’s interesting what you can do when you’re not spending the entire show dialing a phone and giving away money.

The Hornswaggle vs. Armando Estrada match featured hilarious Looney Toons-like sequences with Estrada playing the perplexed Sylvester/Coyote/Elmer Fudd to Hornswaggle’s Tweety Bird/Roadrunner/Bugs Bunny. Hornswaggle dropped marbles, he shot super soakers, he broke cigars, and was always just out of reach from his frustrated pursuer.

Evan Bourne is lots of fun to watch with his Back flips and high flying action. Mike Knox rudely entered the ring after Bourne easily defeated Matt Stryker and put a beat down on the much smaller man. We hope Knox’s actions don’t prove a metaphor for Bourne and his life in the WWE.

The slightly larger and just as acrobatic Kofi Kingston handled Knox well and was about to pin him before Shelton Benjamin entered the ring and scrapped with his hated rival. We’d love to see both Shelton and Kingston drafted up and out of ECW on Monday. They would inject some life into RAW or SmackDown.

The night’s coup de grace was the ten-minute-plus highly technical match between CM Punk and John Morrison. These two have had a long ECW history and they clearly know each other well but this match didn’t have the feel of a tired retread (like Cena and JBL). It was terrific to watch a professionally executed extended match that wasn’t broken up by commercials and wasn’t stopped early by ring interference.

The night ended with the three ECW behemoths Kane, Big Show, and Mark Henry yelling at each other and talking tough. I had almost forgotten that Kane could talk. Even their stupid pose-prominent confrontation couldn’t spoil another great ECW episode.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW June 17: Looney Tunes and Good Wrestling

RESULTS
Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne def. Mike Knox and Shelton Benjamin
Veronica def. Kelly Kelly
Finlay def. Armando Estrada
Colin Delaney def. Armando Estrada
Hornswaggle def. Armando Estrada
The Miz and Morrison def. Kane and CM Punk

Vince McMahon’s announcement of the June 23 WWE Draft has taken a bit of anticipation from tonight’s ECW matches. The bookend tag team matches were fun but their feuds will surely not be maintained when a few of these stars will be drafted into other WWE brands.

For example, it’s hard for me to put any attention to the Kofi Kingston – Shelton Benjamin rivalry because both deserve and appear to be moving upward and out of the ECW. Still, they’re very good in the ring together and I thought the toss flip Benjamin landed on his feet was impressive. Wish they had had more time to face off against each other.

Kofi seems suited to fill SmackDown’s high-flying void – at least until Rey Mysterio reappears – and his goofy Jamaican stereotype angle would fit on the Friday night show. That being said I thought the opening ECW tag team match was terrific.

I really like the in-ring aerials of Evan Bourne (who last week was Matt Sydal). If he’s given a chance he could pump a lot of excitement and action into the ECW and might even get himself a tag team title belt. Below is a youtube video of their match. If you didn’t see it, judge for yourself.

Regarding the other matches, I don’t ever mind seeing WWE Diva Kelly Kelly but I’ve already tired of the Armando Estrada saga which has descended into pure comic relief. Pinned by Hornswaggle! C’mon.

The main event tag team title match was watchable but Kane’s pre-match showdown with Big Show sapped the match’s momentum and relegated it to a sideshow to the future Night of Champions event.

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW June 11: Waiting for the WWE Draft

RESULTSCM Punk def. Tommy Dreamer and Chavo Guerrero and John Morrison
Shelton Benjamin def. Matt Sydal

Last week WWE’s ECW show shined brighter than both RAW and SmackDown with four good wrestling matches and no drama. Could history repeat itself? Not likely, as the story lines have already begun with Teddy Long (see picture on right. OK it’s Paris Hilton but she is holding a teddy bear) wresting ECW GM controls from Armando Estrada. It had seemed like Armando was making a permanent move to the ring.

MATCH ONE
Fatal Four-Way Match
CM Punk vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. John Morrison
Winner gets a match versus Kane in a non-title match.

Didn’t we just see this bout at One Night Stand? Only this time there’s no Big Show, no Shawne Merriman, and surely no blood.

The match ends with a flurry of good signature moves from all competitors but it’s a Go To Sleep from CM Punk on Chavo that ensures the straight-edged warrior a spot in tonight’s ECW Main Event. Guerrero is getting a surprising barrage of hatred from the crowd for his role in the La Familia saga.

MATCH TWO
Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Sydal

The former Wrestling Society X cast member and Ring of Honor high-flying talent Matt Sydal makes a surprisingly entertaining debut. He doesn’t win but he lands some cool looking acrobatic jumps before Benjamin’s strength overcomes the little guy.

The match ends with Benjamin tossing Sydal into Kofi Kingston who is working as a guest commentator. For the second week in a row Kingston and Benjamin brawl uncontrollably after one another’s match. This feud is beginning to hold my interest.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW June 4 Part One: Teddy Long is Back

Big Show def. Tommy Dreamer
The Big Show opens the night with a powerful disposal of Tommy Dreamer finishing him off with a spine shattering choke slam. We with the Big Show’s Cro-Magnon brutality but we have do disagree with Tazz’ assessment of him being deceptively quick. Are you kidding?

Match Grade: C

Kofi Kingston def. Mike Knox
This ECW show is showing promise with the energetic Kofi Kingston facing Mike Knox. Guest commentator Shelton Benjamin gets off the line of the night saying Kofi looks like the Monkey Man from Bloodsport. Not familiar with the best Jean Claude Van Damme movie of all time? Fast forward to minute 6:30 in the below clip.

The Gold Standard’s comparison is hilarious and somewhat accurate but his prediction of Kingston’s demise is premature as Kofi stuns Knox with a series of flying fists, an acrobatic drop kick, and a somersault kick which is buoyed by the ropes. One of the fists actually opens a cut under Knox’s left eye! It’s about time blood returned to the WWE!

Kingston finally puts Knox down for good with the stylish capoeira kick he calls the Trouble in Paradise. Shelton enters the ring after the match and the two flail wildly at each other. Knox sneaks Kofi with a reverse DDT. Maybe he really is angry about the nasty cut that’s opened up around his eye.

Match Grade: A. This match had it all. A nasty real life cut, blood, a Bloodsport reference, the monkey man comment, a Kingston-Benjamin post-match brawl, and wildly acrobatic rope moves. It also has a Yahoo! Answers question. Wowee Zowee.

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW: Bloodsport and Real Blood