In honor of the 140th racing of the Belmont Stakes, I figured that I would give you a short list [in no particular order] of horse racing games. You know, cause if you can’t actually race a horse you might as well play a sim of racing a horse.

#1 Gallop Racer 2006 – Available for the PS2 and it got a rating of B- from 1up.

#2 Horse Racing Tycoon – For PC and it’s definitely a “bargain” at 7 bucks.

#3 Final Stretch-Horse Racing Sim – This bastard is $59.86…hope it’s worth the dough.

#4 Quarter Pole Thoroughbred Racing – I used to play this dude on my Tandy.

If those four games don’t satisfy your horse racing sickness then you can always watch the Belmont. Even though Casino Drive is scratched, it’s sure to be a great race…maybe even a historic race if Big Brown wins.

The race will be televised live on ABC at 5pm EST.

Image: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

Horse Racing Sims

I started thinking about games that I need to play and then I realized that I suck at completing games. I think the most recent game that I’ve actually finished was Okami.

How long ago was that? A while ago.

I’ve beaten Oblivion and Shivering Isles [if you can ever beat those games] but I didn’t have the balls to beat Drake’s Fortune.

Well, in my defense of that one, Drake’s is like a movie that you get to interact with occasionally. The husband was playing Drake’s on his own save and I was watching him play and it just didn’t make any sense for me to “watch the movie” again. At least I got to see the ending of the game. [And it was cool, too.]

Remember Kingdom Hearts? The first Kingdom Hearts.

Yeah, haven’t beaten it.

#2 came out before I had beaten #1 and I just moved onto the second game. Now, #3 is due out…wait. Does anyone know when? If you know, will you let me know?

Kingdom Hearts 3 is kind of like Loch Ness or Bigfoot – everyone has heard of it or knows a cousin’s, uncle’s, brother who knows about it, but no one has actually seen it first hand.

One game that I can proudly say that I have beaten is the Lion King game for Sega Genesis.

Do you remember that game? It was sweet!

I’m not being sarcastic. I ruled that game and Scar was my bitch!

For those of you who still haven’t bested Scar, you have to make him jump over you and off of the cliff’s edge. Please refer to the picture on the left of your screen.

I beat Psychonauts, too. Can’t forget that awesome game.

It really does rock, but is often forgotten. You can either buy it at the Amazon link that I posted, or you can usually find it in the bargain bin at your favorite game store. I think we picked our copy up for maybe $5. Best $5 I’ve spent in a while.

I guess I should explain why I don’t “beat” games. It’s not that they get too difficult or that I’m a big gaming baby. Honestly, I have the attention span of a fruit fly. [That's not very long] There are tons of games that hold my interest until the middle and then fall flat on their faces. So, for me to actually finish a game really says something for the game.

Take Assassin’s Creed.

Loved the concept. Loved the graphics. The fact that the cut-scenes were interactive made me happy. And, I guess it was kind of fun to shove my blade into a guy’s neck. BUT, after a while, it got really old to do the same thing over and over.

Pickpocket a bad guy. Check. Eavesdrop on a bad guy. Check. Interrogate beat the crap out of a guy. Check.

After the third time of doing all of that stuff I just wanted to puke. But, I trudged on. I wanted to love Assassin’s Creed. In the end, I got to the final “boss” and all of the sword fighting and it just got old and I was finally tired of the game. I’ll go back and beat the damn thing so I don’t loose my street cred, but it will be a while.

Now that I’ve written all of this, I kind of want to dust off the first Kingdom Hearts and just start over.

Maybe this time I’ll actually finish it.

Post from: EveryJoe

I Apparently am Incapable of Completing a Game

The above is a 10-minute Resident Video 1.5 (RE 2 prototype) video which stars Elza Walker & Leon Kennedy.

Resident Evil 1.5 has never saw the living daylights, with Elza Walker being axed.

More RE 1.5 stuff @ PlayStation Museum

Post from: EveryJoe

Resident Evil 1.5

Enjoy. [Click the name for the Amazon.com link]

Halo 3

The Orange Box

Rock Band

Super Mario Galaxy

BioShock

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

Mass Effect

Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation

God of War 2

Post from: EveryJoe

Time’s 10 Best of ‘07

Well, I feel like crap today so I’ll use that as my excuse for being the asshole.

God of War: The Movie is a bad idea. Plain and simple.

The first God of War game rocked. It introduced a new way to kill things with all of its head wrenching goodness. The manic button pushing to kill sea monsters was tons of fun. And, who didn’t love the minotaurs?

God of War 2 sucked.

OK. So maybe sucked is a bit harsh.

God of War 2 was redundant.

But, people bought it up like hot cakes [I've never really gotten that phrase] and it has somehow become one of those games that “you gotta play”. I played the damn thing for about three hours and then put the controller down out of disgust. I kept expecting something to distinguish 2 from 1; it never came.

I don’t even wanna talk about God of War 3.

So, when I read that the God of War movie is still on, I want to run to the bathroom and wretch. Actually, I want to do that anyway, but the idea of the movie doesn’t help matters. David Jaffe seems like such a nice guy and he’s really excited about the movie, but I’m just not feeling it.

I’m sure that God of War 3 is going to sell its ass off and I have no doubt that the movie will rake in the dough as well, but does that necessarily mean that they will be good?

Um, yeah. Not so much.

Post from: EveryJoe

God of War Movie a Bad Idea

The “little hand held that could”, sold 124,627 in Japan, up from 116,694 the week before.

The next closest system was the Wii with 54362.

Microsoft’s 360 got a thorough spanking and only moved 7117 units.

If the DS keeps on selling like it’s selling, it will beat the PS2’s sales records by early next year.

I guess I’m going to have to jump on the DS bandwagon. The games keep getting better and the system keeps getting cuter and cuter.

And you know, when it comes to choosing a console, I always choose based solely on the system’s aesthetics.

Post from: EveryJoe

DS Stomping Everyone in Japan

Singapore may be small but we do have our own legion of Guitar Hero fanatics who can pose with their precious Guitar Hero’s guitar just about anytime, anywhere, with any costume when doing anything.

In the bedroom with a kool look.

Kids, don’t try this at home.

When you are having serious business.

The OMFG pose.

The Katamari Princess pose.

Pose with your guitar minus the bridegroom in your wedding gown.

Hey, you can vote for your favourite pose @ GXL Guitar Hero Pose Contest

Inspired by Sheylara

Post from: EveryJoe

Guitar Hero Poses, Anytime, Anywhere, Anything

Mass Effect comes out this week for the 360 and the screenshots and plot have me wishing that this wasn’t a 360 exclusive game. There’s nothing like a little girl-on-girl action to really get the buzz going around a game. I hope you pre-ordered.

Another game that Santa might have a problem getting his creepy hands on is Rock Band. With the success of Guitar Hero 3, this promises to set some records and take the “band game” to the next level. Don’t forget to pick up your guitar, microphone, and drums.

Kane & Lynch: Dead Men hits this week for the PC, 360, and PS3 and the squad tactics look sweet!

Ghost Squad [Wii] is tapping into the “kill the terrorists” genre with the addition of the Wii Zapper. Expect tons of shoot-em up fun.

Time Crisis 4 [PS3] is another game with a gun tie-in. The GunCon 3 looks awesome and comes with the game when purchased through Amazon.

The granddaddy of shooters, Unreal, releases Unreal Tournament III this week for PC. Expect it for PS3 in March.

Next Life is another PC addition who’s plot caught my eye. Game play starts after a car wreck. Did you die or didn’t you?

Medal of Honor Airborne continues the World War II saga for PS3, PC and 360.

Soulcalibur Legends promises to be another great addition to the Wii’s “non-casual” arsenal

The DS offers a classic character, Mario, with a new twist in Mario Party DS as well as Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings.

I have to add Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune here since I didn’t include it last week.

Amazon has it releasing on the 19th while GameSpot says the 16th. Whatever the case, add it to your Christmas list.

There are a couple of others coming out this week, but the ones listed are the games that I would buy if I had the moola and the systems.

Happy gaming, everyone!

Post from: EveryJoe

New Releases!

Assassin’s Creed! Yippee!

Quoting from Game Spot here, “The first game in the Assassin’s Creed franchise…”

Franchise? Did I miss something?

I guess so.

Here I’ve been waiting for just the game [for over a year] and now they’re talking franchise.

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally!

UBI Soft is releasing their movie tie-in Beowulf for the 360, PC and PS3 and PSP.

The story bored me and I hate games [and books] that are made from movies.

Maybe it won’t suck, but I’m not holding my breath.

Blacksilk: Area 51 is being launched this week as well. Ugo.com is panning the game. It’s for PC and 360, so I’m not really concerned with it.

PC and 360 gamers, I hope that the game doesn’t suck as much as Ugo.com is saying it does.

Medal of Honor Heroes 2 is out this week for the Wii and PSP. IGN gives it an 8.4/10.

Crysis hits on the 16th for PC and it’s the 3rd most popular PC game right now on 1up.com. It’s your classic “save mankind from the killer aliens” FPS.

Need for Speed: Prostreet is coming out for just about every console. [even cell phone]

There’s some pretty decent buzz surrounding this game. So, if you’re into tweaking cars and [simulated] fast driving, you might want to check this one out.

Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles is Resident Evil’s newest release and they’ve made it special for Wii Zapper.

I always had faith in the Wii being more than just tennis. Game Trailers gives Umbrella Chronicles 8.3/10.

SimCity Societies for PC is coming out this week.

Eurogamer panned the game at 5/10, but, the screenshots looked hot.

I have a soft spot for the entire SimCity franchise, so I hope Eurogamer was just having a bad day.

Also being released this week is Kane & Lynch: Dead Men for 360, PC and PS3.

Dragon Ball Z Tenkaichi 3 [gag] is released for the PS2.

Aliens vs. Predator Requiem is set to hit for the PSP.

Soldier Of Fortune: Payback is being released for PC and the 360.

WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 [double gag] is coming out for the Ps2, 360, Wii, PS3, DS and PSP.

And, last but not least, Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii which Gamespot picked as “Editor’s Choice” with a 9.5/10.

Happy gaming, kiddies!

Post from: EveryJoe

Coming Out This Week

A time of goblins and ghouls and witches on brooms.

Ok.

Who am I kidding?

It’s time to go trick-or-treating [aren't you a bit old for that?] and dress up like a super slutty bar maid.

In honor of my favorite holiday, I figured that I would give you some links to some great games.

Some are blatant Halloween games; some are just plain scary.

Halloween games

Undead Smackdown – Ben and Jerry’s version of wack-a-mole…except you’re whacking zombies with a shovel.

Tomb Chess – Clear your “graveyard” of your opponent’s “ghouls”.

Transylmania – Turn all of the invading villagers into the walking dead.

Kingdom Hearts 2: Halloween Town – Skip to this world and be rewarded with Jack, Sally and Zero from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Just Plain Scary

You know it’s good if you have to confirm your date of birth…very good.

Any of the Silent Hill games – The first Silent Hill was the first game that gave me nightmares. Origins is set for PSP release Nov. ‘07.

Resident Evil – A game so wonderfully creepy that it has launched three sequels, books, comics and movies.

F.E.A.R. – Are you freakin’ kidding me?! Make sure you have a towel handy for when you pee yourself.
Indigo Prophecy – Not a title most would consider “scary” but it definitely has creep factor.

I know that this list is far from exhaustive. But, it’s my list and these are the games I’ve played that have made me look twice at shadows in my bedroom.

Happy Halloween!

Post from: EveryJoe

My Ode to Halloween