Yesterday we did a cutting-edge post (see how well our marketing background serves us?) on the 10-year affair between Roger Clemens and country singer Mindy McCready.
As expected, everyone who has a stake in this—Clemens, McCready, and Clemens nemesis/steroid abuse whistleblower Brian McNamee—took turns stirring the pot.   
One series of events, three interpretations. Actually, make that four, given that Clemens changed his story. Here’s the latest:
A teary-eyed McCready fessed up to the New York Daily News.
Clemens (shock of all shocks) initially denied the tryst chatter but given McCready’s sing-like-a-canary routine, the puffed-up pitcher has finally admitted it.
Oh, and here’s the spin from …read more

How else do you explain the oddball—what the heck, we’ll call it this anyway—”accident” that befell his former trainer and steroid whistleblower Brian McNamee?
Yesterday afternoon McNamee passed out behind the wheel and drove his Lexus head-on into a bus. No one was seriously injured, so there’s a good chance the Clemens clan was seriously amused.
The curious subplot in the Clemens-McNamee soap opera had the syringe-collector telling police the blackout was the result of an ongoing medical problem. (Despite not pursuing a career in medicine, we suspect that’s the technical term for “excessive stress due to this *#&^*@!!! steroid abuse scandal”).
Not to jump …read more

Who knew Barry Bonds was a stickler for copyediting boo-boos?
Bonds, as you probably know, is being bagged for allegedly lying to a federal grand jury about his use of “performance-enhancing drugs.” He’s pleaded not guilty to perjury and obstruction of justice charges, and now he’s turning the tables because of a couple typos: Last week, prosecuters idiotically mistakenly cited a failed drug test he took in November 2001.
Oops! They meant November 2000.
But the official documents said 2001 until the typos were fixed the following day. Bonds’ claim is that the typos could—wait for it—no really, wait for it, ’cause this is good—”compromise his …read more

It ain’t over till it’s over, but it is for Roger Clemens at the Yogi Berra Museum. The Rocket’s shirt was removed from a rah-rah New York Yankees exhibit honoring the team’s—oh, it makes our Red Sox blood run cold to write this—4-of-5 World Series wins from 1996-2000. Seems the good folks at the Yogi Berra Museum and Learning Center got a little nervous about the “unresolved issues” concerning the congressional Clemens & Co. of late.
Blame it on the kiddos: A spokesman for the museum claims it was “difficult for us to give answers to the kids coming through the …read more

David and Victoria Beckham, it’s at times like this that we truly appreciate your respective hotness. Or would that be hotnesses?
In one corner, you have the Roger Clemens-Brian McNamee edition of Days of Our Lives. Adding to the overall “WTF?”-ness of the whole steroid shebang is the latest McNamee bombshell that he also injected the 7-time Cy Young winner’s wife Debbie Clemens with HGH.
But in another corner, thankfully, you have the Beckhams. They’re not embroiled in a steroid abuse scandal, they’re not licking their Super Bowl wounds as we imagine Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are, and they aren’t having …read more

Truth be told, we weren’t that surprised when Brian McNamee fingered Roger Clemens as a steroid kinda guy, whether it’s true or not. But nevah evah did we think Debbie Clemens, The Rocket’s daintier half, would be among The Chosen Ones.
McNamee claims that Mrs. Clemens, looking pretty darn buff here in a 2003 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, had HGH injected while preparing for the salacious shoot.
As faithful reader Prospero aptly pointed out, sometimes the Blog Deities really are generous in doling out foddah. But who knew they worked late on Fridays?

Since Roger Clemens and Bill Belichick are more fun than at least three barrels of monkeys (each), we thought we’d add a fourth barrel via a pretend Q & A with The Rocket.
The catch? All the answers by “Roger Clemens” are actually quotes from the Bill Belichick telecon a few days after the New England Patriots became dead to us lost the Super Bowl (possibly due to the red hoodie).  
Gossip on Sports: How many HGH injections did you take over the past few years?
Roger Clemens as Bill Belichick: “It takes a lot to get to this point, but we’re starting all over in …read more

So, Roger Clemens‘ trainer-turned-whistleblower-turned-laswuit-recipient Brian McNamee has proof. Indeed, McNamee presented photographic evidence of the Rocket’s alleged steroid abuse to a congressional committee. We weren’t sold on it until we saw that crushed beer can. Then we knew Roger was guilty! . . . Or not.
You know, we don’t want to take a congressional hearing lightly, but—wait a minute, who are we kidding? We take all potential blog foddah lightly. Yet even snarky, skeptical blogerettes can’t help but wonder if ancient syringes and gauze are more of a stretch than Kim Kardashian’s qualifications as a “celebrity.”
The real investigation here should be about Brian McNamee’s storage …read more

Well, maybe he didn’t slide into home. But at least Chuck Knoblauch made his way back. And now he’s been un-subpoenaed.
The other day we mentioned how the 1991 Rookie of the Year had the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate pointed at him in the steroid abuse scandal. Chucky Knobby’s initial reaction was to get out of Dodge faster than O.J. Simpson in a white Bronco during a police chase.
He finally reached out and touched the Feds, and they’re all one big happy family now. Kind of. Knoblauch will give either a deposition or a transcribed interview on Friday. And we’re …read more

Randy Hendricks, agent to Roger Clemens, can now add “Defender of the Rocket” to his business card.
Hendricks released an 18,000-word statistical report today in response to former trainer Brian McNamee’s allegations that the would-be Hall of Famer jumped on the steroid bandwagon. Fortunately, we’ve taken the time to decode and summarize the whole shebang for you in three words: “Roger Ain’t Guilty.”
To what does Hendricks attribute Clemens’Energizer Bunny-like career? Good ol’-fashioned adjustment. (Is it too silly for us admit to thinking about jock straps upon seeing the words “baseball player” and “adjustment” in the same article?). Hendricks says the Cy …read more