– Lawyers Admit Former CEO Did Illegal Stuff But Argue That Doesn’t Mean He Violated ‘Honest Services’ Statute; Rest of World Says, ‘Huh?’ –
The Supreme Court yesterday scheduled time on its docket to hear an appeal by former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling.
The Court will decide whether to uphold lower court rulings which convicted Skilling on 19 counts of conspiracy, securities fraud, insider trading, lying to auditors and refusing to clap for Tinkerbell.
Skilling and his lawyers are asking the Court to consider whether the “honest services” fraud statute was applied correctly, a move which should make this the fastest case …read more

– Supreme Court Nominee Quizzed on Abortion and One of Those Problems Where Trains Are Traveling in Different Directions –
Judge Sonia Sotomayor was on Capitol Hill again appearing before lawmakers who continued to probe whether or not the judge would support their attempts to trample the Constitution if she was confirmed as a member of the Supreme Court.
Sotomayor fielded a variety of tough questions on abortion, gun control and intermediate algebra as she sought to become the first Hispanic to sit on the Supreme Court.
At one point, Sotomayor asked if she could use a pencil and some scrap paper to …read more

– Jurist Will Be First Female Judge In Supreme Court’s Tenure To Have Alliterative Name –
President Barack Obama made history today announcing the first alliterative female judge as a candidate for the Supreme Court.
If she is confirmed, Sonia Sotomayor will join other famous alliterative Supreme Court jurists such as John Jay, Thomas Todd, David Davis and Lucius Lamar.
Many Court historians don’t include Lucius Lamar as one of the “true” alliterative judges due to the fact that he went by his full name, Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar II.
Plus, Lamar was from Mississippi and sported a ridiculous beard …read more

– Headlines Ripped Off From Today’s Stories –
Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s Happy Meal
Company Apologizes, Said It Should Have Advertised Offering As ‘Reeaally Happy Meal’

And you thought the Burger King was creepy…
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Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s Happy Meal
Complains Meal Came With Wrapper, But No Toy
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Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s Happy Meal
Ronald McDonald To Comment Right After He Finishes Cigarette

“As a matter of fact, I do have some fries to go with that shake…”
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Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s Happy Meal
Gung-Ho Employee Proclaims “I Was Lovin’ It!”
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Girl Says She Found Condom In McDonald’s …read more

Scalia ruling declares, “Don’t bust a gut if you bust a gut.”
The Supreme Court made it harder for consumers to sue manufacturers of federally approved medical devices in an 8-1 decision against the estate of a patient who suffered serious injuries when a catheter burst during a medical procedure.
“Nowhere in the Constitution is it written that citizens should be protected from getting paralyzed or dying from defective medical devices,” wrote Justice Antonin Scalia in the majority ruling. “George Washington got an infection from his fake teeth. Did he whine about it?”

The Bush administration sided with industry, saying …read more