See, just when you think every angle of a story has been covered, Frank Coffey and his eTrueSports Goodfellas prove once again that they dig deeper than any other news organization. (As for what they dig—who are we to judge?)

New York – Bob Watson, MLB’s dean of discipline, has handed Shelley Duncan an additional punishment resulting from last week’s Yankee-Tampa Rays flareup, ordering the Yankee first baseman to write, “I will not slide into second base with my spikes high,” 500 times on college-ruled paper.

“Bummer,” said a subdued Duncan.

Rays manager, Joe Maddon, all ready incensed at the lightness of Duncan’s three-game suspension, erupted again at this new penalty. ”He pulls a punk-ass stunt and this is all he gets? Anybody can write!”

Hours after the Watson ruling, sources close to eTrueSports reported a Duncan sighting at a Staples office supply store in Bradenton, FL not far from the Yankee’s Tampa spring training base where he was observed purchasing a box of No. 2 lead pencils and three yellow legal pads.

“He was wearing a black Fedora and a trenchcoat,” said the source. “But the flip flops gave him away, Shelley loves flip flops.”

Our take? It could have been worse. He could have been forced to write “I will not act out S & M fantasies on the baseball field.”

Post from: EveryJoe

Duncan’s Penalty Goes Beyond Suspension, Fines

A comment by faithful reader Caesar on this post got us thinking about one classic smackdown in particular: Pedro Martinez and Don Zimmer in Game 3 of the ALCS. Pre-cockfighting Pedro was pitching for the Boston Red Sox at the time and Zimmer was sleeping with the enemy on the New York Yankees coaching staff.

You’d think this video would be easy to find. Not so much. Here’s what we found. The quality isn’t great and every after the first 40 seconds is lame, but it’s a blast from the past all the same:

Post from: EveryJoe

Revisiting the Pedro Martinez-Don Zimmer Smackdown

Joe Girardi, manager of the New York Yankees, has been fined as a result of the brawl between his team and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. NYY players Melky Cabrera were fined and suspended for a trio of games; Rays right fielder and “You Know” master Jonny Gomes has been fined and be on the sidelines for two games.

We’re happy, but not as happy as we would have been if had been a Yankees-Red Sox fight that bagged the boys in pinstripes.

Post from: EveryJoe

Yanks Fined, Sox Fans Giggle With Glee

That being said, we feel compelled to post this follow-up on yesterday’s Yanks-Rays brawl.

Seems Tampa Bay GM Joe Maddon thinks those Damn Yankees are also Dirty Yankees:

“What you saw today was the definition of a dirty play. There’s no room for that in our game. It’s contemptible. It’s wrong. It’s borderline criminal. I can’t believe they did that.”

Can you believe those jerks? What’s wrong with them? Why they should—oh sorry, we got caught up in the moment and started a fantasy rant of our own.

If we’re lucky, Hank Steinbrenner will open his trap and make things even more interesting.

Oh, and here’s the ESPN clip (3m, 55s) of the brawl. What we like is the YouTube poster’s running tally of Rays RF and would-be linebacker Jonny Gomes’ ”you know”s in the post-game interview. 

Post from: EveryJoe

“Dirty” Yankees and “You Know” Tally for Jonny Gomes

Unless our Blog Foddah Radar is slightly out of tune and needs recalibration, this marks the first bench clearing brawl of the pre-season.

The teams made it all of two innings before tempers flared. (Sort of. A homeplate crash that injured a Bronx Bombers would-be catcher set the tone between these teams several days ago.)

In the first inning, Yankees pitcher Heath Phillips got yanked—pun intended—for beaning Rays prospect Evan Longoria, who is an actual male and not a post-sex change Eva Longoria or anything. When Shelley Duncan of the Yankees slid spikes up into Rays second baseman Akinori Iwamura, all h-e-double-hockey-sticks broke loose.

And baseball fans everywhere rejoiced.

Post from: EveryJoe

Bench-Clearing Brawl Between Yanks and Rays