You guessed it: WWE’s SummerSlam.

The 2008 SummerSlam will mark the PPV’s 20th year! Where have the years gone? The lineup for this year’s August extravaganza hasn’t been announced yet so instead we’re posting a youtube video of the very first SummerSlam Main Event.

It happened in 1988 and it was beautiful. That’s right it’s The Mega Powers vs. The Mega Bucks. Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Andre the Giant and Ted DiBiase.

In The Mega Bucks’ corner was Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and special guest referee Jesse “Senatorial Candidate” Ventura. More importantly in the Mega Powers’ corner was the beautiful Miss Elizabeth.

Is this classic match ringing the old ringside bell? Four words: Miss Elizabeth Tearaway Mini-Skirt. Just press play and relive the memories.

Post from: EveryJoe

SummerSlam 1988: Mega Powers, Mega Bucks, Miss Elizabeth

Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes def. Cryme Tyme
This match lasts 12 seconds. I am not kidding. It takes Vince McMahon longer to dial the next Million Dollar winner’s number. She can’t stop telling Vince how wonderful is, how much she loves him, and how she thinks he’s the most handsome person in the world.

Image details: China Celebrates Valentine’s Day served by picapp.com

Paul Birchill and Katie Lea def. Mr. Kennedy and Mickie James
I enjoy all four of these wrestlers but am distracted and disturbed by the crawl reminding us to buy Ted DiBiase’s book, the WWE Kids magazine, WWE Diva ringtones, The Rock’s DVD (I do want that) and to register for next week’s Million Dollar Madness. This lottery farce is continuing next week! Maybe this week’s ratings will be down again and that will end it.

I like Katie Lea as a wrestler despite her tall awkwardness and her second pin in as many weeks of the WWE Women’s champ must mean something. She’s a convincingly vile heel, her myspace tag is dawgkilla, and I think her rivalry with James might have more legs than her “brother’s” saga with Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy has bigger and better things in his future.

Triple H def. Chris Jericho by DQ
Before tonight’s Main Event Frank from New Jersey wins $300K and tells Vince that he loves him. He had to have been prepped.

The match has started and Jericho has a quizzical probing look on his face. He’s trying to solve the puzzle that is Triple H. We suggest hair conditioner. Triple H viciously tosses Y2J into the ring post and Jericho grabs his shoulder. “Is he OK?” we wonder as the newly born match goes to commercial.

He must be. We return to see him put some damage to HHH via a kick to the head, an elbow to the face, and a slam into the steel chair. Jericho’s rage is getting the best of him as he recklessly walks into a HHH clothesline and knee to the face. Has the match turned?

Jericho can’t complete the Walls of Jericho (see left) and is hit with a Double-Edged Spine Buster and then a Pedig…no! Y2J counters but misses with a high risk Lionsault. HHH goes for the Pedigree again but Jericho counters again. The fight is getting good outside of the ring when Lance Cade, of all people, runs into the ring, assaults HHH, and the match is stopped.

John Cena shows up and all four start brawling. This is a disappointing turn of events. In the midst of it all Jericho puts HHH out with a Codebreaker showing what could have happened in the match had Cade stayed out of it all.

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE RAW 6/16 I Love You Vince McMahon

Here we go. The epic, historic, amazing Vince McMahon announcement. The entire WWE lineup has emerged from the locker room to hear what the Chairman has to say. How will the announcement “affect ever RAW viewer?”

Vince starts by telling us that there’s going to be another WWE Draft in four weeks. That’s been expected. No big deal there. Where’s the epic-ness, the monumental-ness, the historic-ness?

“It’s all about the money,” Vince begins “I’m going to give away cash money every week.” Oh yeah. Here it comes. We’re so excited. How much? How much? How much? How much?

Image details: $100 Bills served by picapp.com

“Each and every week on RAW I’m going to give away $1 Million.”

Then the show ends. That’s it. Huh? That announcement, while appealing, didn’t quite live up to the hype.

I guess a cool million could be cool but what are the details. Is it $1M in the sense of the $20M Floyd Mayweather, Jr. got for Wrestlemania XXIV? Is it $1M in the sense of Ted DiBiase’s millions or M.V.P.’s millions or JBL’s millions? Scratch that, JBL does actually have millions.

We’re guessing that right now the WWE website is being flooded with visitors and explanations so to spare their bandwidth we promise to do our own research at www.jabandgrapple.com and keep you informed on this this site how to make your wrestling viewing worth a lot.

Segment Grade: D The whole pay-you-to-watch gimmick is not nearly as epic as we wanted it to be. That said, if I happen to be the one who wins the million this grade turns into an A++++.

Post from: EveryJoe

Memorial Day Monday Night Raw: The Epic Announcement

Match One
Melina def. Jillian Hall

Melina enters the ring doing her signature full split under the bottom rope and makes Hall submit with a indescribably flexible reverse camel clutch-type thing. Oh. My. Heavens. Beth Phoenix, who was interviewed in character today in the Miami Herald sits at ringside with JR and contributes little.

After the match Y2J and Vince McMahon agree on another Y2J – Shawn Michaels match tonight which puts a huge smile on our face. Then they engage in assorted non sequiturs while Cryme Tyme steals a cheap portrait of Queen Elizabeth II off the wall. Weird stuff.

Segment Grade: C . All of which earned by Melina.

Match Two
Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes def. Paul London and Brian Kendrick.

London and Kendrick do some impressive acrobatics and London even manages to pin Holly for three seconds. Luckily for the champions, the referee is distracted. Holly quickly reverses and punishes London with a vicious Alabama Slam. Match over.

But who is this? Of course, it’s the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. Is he going to announce that he’s the new RAW GM like we predicted last week. Is that the announcement? Not at all. He’s announcing that his son Ted DiBiase Jr. is a new RAW roster member. We like second generation stars and are glad to finally see him in the big leagues. Although the “I’m Priceless” catchphrase isn’t our favorite.

Segment Grade: C. Whole lots of yawns tonight.

Picture Source: Wikipedia by mshake3

Post from: EveryJoe

Memorial Day Monday Night Raw: We Want An Announcement!

Image details: A Conversation with Mr. Warmth.Don Rickles served by picapp.com

Monday Night Raw: The Pit of the Piper

Before the match begins Ted “The Million Dollar Man” DiBiase interrupts Vince McMahon’s meeting with an exercising William Regal. Clearly DiBiase’s son’s recent entry into the WWE means that his dad wasn’t far behind. Now it all makes sense. Ted and Regal will be engaged in a RAW GM power play. Regal’s malevolent megalomania was getting tired anyway.

Next up is Roddy Piper’s return to Piper’s Pit. But no, it’s Santino Marella wonderfully dressed as Roddy with a big stomach and a bad hairpiece. His jokes are terrific but calling Adrian Adonis a “fat transvestite” is crossing the line.

We see the “Jimmy the Kimmel” highlights again of Santino, Roddy Piper, and Jimmy’s Cousin Sal exchanging slaps at at Hooters. Roddy appears, endowment jokes are made, cakes are thrown in faces and Cousin Sal gets a match with Santino. Which is an odd end to a funny segment. D-level celebrity vs. Pro wrestler matches never work out well. We want Roddy vs. Marella! Which we think we probably happen anyway.

Segment Grade: B before the match announcement; C+ after

Post from: EveryJoe

May 19 Monday Night Raw: The Pit of the Piper