Mickie James & Jamie Nobel Vs. Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella: Marella pins Nobel for the win.

Ted Dibiase Jr. Vs. Kofi Kingston: Dibiase wins by pinfall.

Between Matches you see Dolph Ziggler trying to introduce himself to Mark Henry, Tony Atlas and Kane. They ignore him. Now I don’t know about anyone else but isn’t this "Hi, I’m Dolph Ziggler." thing getting a little bit old? Shut up and wrestle already.

They also show video of John Cena and about his neck surgery. The doctors said it all went well and that there was slight paralysis before the surgery. Batista talks about how Cena was a great and difficult opponent and HHH was talking about how John was back on his feet and visiting everyone while he should have been resting, but that’s John Cena. Everyone was very supportive of Cena and said he was a great guy with personality and such. John Cena is a fun and funny character in the ring. Like many others, I’ve seen him come in as a much younger and skinnier, lower card wrestler. Not knowing or ever even thinking that he would be as popular as he is today. I hope he recovers well and soon and hope to see him in the ring in the future.

Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio Vs. Kane & Mark Henry: This one looked as if Matt Hardy and Mysterio were going to win, but in the end Kane caught Hardy in a choke slam and pinned him for the win.

HBK Vs. Lance Cade: In the end of this Anything Goes match, HBK ended up beating the hell out of Cade with a chair and pinned him for the victory.

Between matches, Jerry The King Lawler says that Santino Marella claims to be the greatest Intercontinental Champion and ion two week he’s get to prove it. King says that the fans get to choose who Santino Faces by texting their votes. You can vote for Gold Dust, The Honkey Tonk Man or Rowdy Roddy Piper. I hope it’s piper, because I love to see piper get back in the ring. I really never cared for Gold Dust and his Pajamas and The Honky Tonk man is like a thousand years old…no wonder those guitars disintegrate when slammed over peoples heads.

Johnny Knoxville interviewed The Great Khali for a segment of Jackassworld.com. One of his questions was that with the size of The Great Khali, is everything in proportion, meaning his "Tally-whacker". Khali took offense to this. Khali is in the ring and says abu-dubu-lala-dubi-whatty, or something like that and sing translates that to Khali wanting Knoxville to show up at raw in two weeks so he can show him real entertainment. Until then he’s going to host the "Kiss-Cam" So the porn music starts to play and the big heart goes up on the screen and it shows a few couples in the crowd kissing and then it goes to the beautiful Lillian Garcia (who was in the ring about to announce the next match when she was interrupted by Sing and Khali’s intrusion)…so Khali wanders over and plants  a kiss on the rather unwilling Lillian Garcia. Khali mumbles something and does the phone hand gesture and Sing says "Khali will call you."

I love the whole Jillian thinking she can sing gimmick. It’s like watching karaoke in crack. Jillian comes out to the ring and starts trying to sing Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit. The Miz and John Morrison are guest commentators with King and Cole. Kelly Kelly comes to the ring with Cryme Tyme. Cryme Time join King and Cole on the other side of the commentators table. During the entire match Cryme Tyme and Miz-Morrison are talking trash and throwing some of the corniest insults back and fourth and you can tell they were having fun with it. There was a match going on here too. Kelly Kelly, in all her blonde cuteness won by pinning Jillian. Both ladies looked absolutely exhausted as if they had been going at it for hours. At one point before Kelly Kelly rolled up Jillian for the pin, they were trying to do the whole, "Flip you opponent over your shoulder so she lands on her feet routine." but it almost looked as if they couldn’t do it. Jillian had to try like three times just to get the momentum to get Kelly Kelly up.

More video on Cena

The Main Event- Batista Vs. JBL w/ Y2J as special guest referee. But first, special time keeper William Regal, special guest commentator Randy Orton. Blows are traded during the match and Y2J is constantly telling JBL to get up and this and that. At one point Y2J trips Batista as Batista whips JBL into the corner. But in the end Batista double spears Jericho and JBL. Mike Adamle runs to the ring with another ref who counts the three count as Batista pins JBL for the win.

Afterwards Mike Adamle comes out as Jericho is walking around outside the ring. Adamle says that it’s ironic that Jericho appointed himself the guest referee. He said during his meeting with Shane and Stephanie McMahon, they told him to shake things up a bit. So at Cyber Sunday Y2J will face Batista for the championship with a special guest referee that could be anyone from Randy Orton to HBK to Stone Cold Steve Austin. Raw goes off-air.

Image ©JabandGrapple.com

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Raw Recap 10/7

Dear Jabandgrapple.com readers. Chances are next week’s wrestler rankings will be funnier, better written, provide smarter, crisper analysis, might include someone other than WWE wrestlers, and won’t show extreme prejudice towards Mark Henry, JBL, and Kane.

That’s right, this is Mr. Jabandgrapple’s last post. That doesn’t mean there won’t be another Mr. Jabandgrapple just like there was another Ultimate Warrior, another Kane, and another Undertaker. What’s that? There was only one Ultimate Warrior, one true Kane, and one true Undertaker.

That’s besides the point. Just goes to prove that the next Mr. Jabandgrapple will be a more learned wrestling fan. Am I off to a lucrative column at Pro Wrestling Illustrated? A WWE writing gig alongside Freddy Prinze, Jr. in Stamford, Connecticut? Sideline speech and interview writer for Eve Torres? Exclusive publicist for Shannon Briggs?

Let’s just say I’m off to parts unknown. Without further ado, here’s my last WWE wrestler rankings.

1. Undertaker (LW: 1)
Taker’s to-do list:
Sunday: Edge sent to h-e double hockey sticks. Check.
Friday: Steal Vickie Guerrero’s soul. Sorta check. He said he was going to do it. Didn’t exactly see the aura sucked out of her body. Perhaps because SmackDown was again pre-empted by exhibition football and all I got was the standard-def feed. Taker is back and he’s on fire! Although presumably not as on fire as Edge.

2. Batista (LW: 2)
The Animal still holds the 1-0 edge over his former Tag Team Champion partner but his work on RAW – hobbling to victory over Paul Birchill – certainly doesn’t carry the same weight as Cena’s effort last Monday…

3. John Cena (LW: 5)
Hustle, loyalty and respect brought a handicap match victory over the reigning tag team. It’s only right then that Cena should be named Tag Team champion all by himself. We’re still surprised that Mick Foley never teamed with one of his many personas to win a Tag title. What’s that?

(Official voice: This is a WWE ranking and Mick Foley has nothing to do with the WWE. Cease and desist in mentioning the king of the hell in the cell.)

Let’s move on.

4. Y2J (LW: 10)
Our personal savior (who no longer is in the saving business) Chris Jericho joined the growing list of WWE superstars who’ve defeated the supposed RAW title holder, CM Punk, during his ignominious reign. Shouldn’t that then make him the World Heavyweight Champion just as Cena should be the tag team champ? That would make too much sense.

What also is inexplicable? Why did the WWE replay the Y2J-punching-Shawn Michaels’-wife saga on all three shows? Doesn’t matter, I loved it all three times.

5. HHH (LW: 3)
The King of Kings was just sort of there this week only slightly assisting our next entrant in his match…

6. Jeff Hardy (LW: 6)
The now-braided rainbow-haired warrior defeated the Great Khali in the biggest mismatch between athlete and non-athlete since nearly every Olympic boxing match. Somehow in those bouts the non-athlete always won. Shows you why I love pro wrestling.

7. Kofi Kingston (LW: 7)
It is STILL so unfair that Kofi lost his Intercontinental belt without getting pinned. We say he wins it back on tonight’s RAW. Of course we said the same thing last week.

8. Edge (LW: 4)
When will he emerge from Hades? If not this Friday then I’m dropping him off this list. But you won’t be here next week. Arrggghh.

9. Shelton Benjamin (LW: NR)
Beat Finlay in a very long match on SmackDown. I keep forgetting that Finlay has a title belt, namely the U.S. Championship. Yet another reason why next weeks ratings will be smarter.

10. The Miz (LW: NR)
Because I like him. That’s why. Because I love reality TV. That’s right I said it. Because the only show on television almost as good as wrestling is the Road Rules/Real World Challenge. And The Miz was a stellar performer on that show.

Dropped Out: CM Punk, Vladimir Kozlov

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Wrestler Rankings: 8/25/08

1. Undertaker (LW: 10)
He’s baaaaaaaaaack and he’s sending people to h-e double hockey sticks. We really didn’t realize how much we missed the Undead Superstar until his epic SummerSlam Hell in a Cell match. Amazing stuff in what might go down as an all-time great pro wrestling match.

2. Batista (LW: 1)
His match versus John Cena wasn’t the highlight of SummerSlam but hopefully we will see these two titans square off again.

3. Triple H (LW: 4)
He beat The Great Khali. Yawn. Let’s see him start feuding with Edge or Taker. The pedigreed one won’t stand a chance.

4. Edge (LW: 3)
Did Edge solidify his place in the WWE Hall of Fame with yet another ridiculously good headline match? We think so. Can’t wait to see what’s up next for the Rated R Superstar.

5. John Cena (LW: 2)
The crowd is beginning to turn against everybody’s all-American. How long before Cena turns heel? Hopefully soon.

6. Jeff Hardy (LW: 9)
Sure he lost at SummerSlam but only because of Shelton Benjamin’s interference. Hardy has been terrific as of late and the untrue rumors of his broken neck have only added to his legend.

7. Kofi Kingston (LW: 5)
So unfair that Kofi could lose his Intercontinental belt without getting pinned. We say he wins it back tonight on RAW.

8. CM Punk (LW: NR)
He won. Double yawn. A pin versus JBL means NOTHING. CM Punk still has a lot to prove in our book.

9. Vladimir Kozlov (LW: 8)
Maybe he’ll get a match in the next pay-per-view. We’re not holding our breath.

10. Y2J (LW: 7)
Overshadowed again by Shawn Michaels. Y2J’s star is falling and it’s falling fast.
Dropped Out: The Great Khali

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Wrestler Rankings: 8/18/08

Monday night’s RAW and Tuesday’s ECW didn’t exactly bring us a lot of action while Friday night’s SmackDown was preempted in Mr. Jabandgrapple’s hometown by an Eagles vs. Steelers pre-season match-up. And while my DVR wasn’t intuitive enough to tape the delayed broadcast I was able to get a hold of the matches.

1. Batista (LW: 3)
The Animal channeled his ample anger and pinned Ted DiBiase, Jr. to become a half of an unlikely WWE Tag Team Champion pairing.

2. John Cena (LW: 2)
The other half of the new belt holders. We can’t wait for the newly allied SummerSlam matchup.

3. Edge (LW: 1)
At some point he’s going to have to wrestler, right? Still, flipping Vickie Guerrero out of her wheelchair is something we’ve wanted to see forever. And the Rated-R Superstar definitely seems to have his mojo back.

4. Triple H (LW: 4)
Good mic work and some clever insults towards the Great Khali and his manager “Funyon”. HHH had the arm wrestling match won and Khali resorted to some dastardly tactics.

5. Kofi Kingston (LW: 6)
The high flying superstar just keeps getting better. We really enjoyed his dismantling of Paul Birchill. Let’s hope that feud is over. It’s gotten way too one-sided.

6. The Great Khali (LW: 8)
As much as it pains me to move Khali to #6 he did put a hurting on HHH and that doesn’t happen often. We always feel a little bad for him after hearing the rumor that he doesn’t have much time left in the WWE because of his degenerating knees.

7. Y2J (LW: 4)
Chris Jericho gets a lot less interesting without Shawn Michaels as a foil. How could I place him above JBL who actually made the pin in the JBL-Y2J handicap match against CM Punk? Because Y2J did all the damage on Punk and because I hate JBL. Simple as that.

8. Vladimir Kozlov (LW: NR)
So it’s not just us who wants Kozlov to face better competition. Vladimir is sick of beating up jobbers too. Last week he got Jesse and Festus who are a serviceable duo. Kozlov got the job done and makes his first appearance in the JandG rankings.

9. Jeff Hardy (LW: NR)
The rainbow-haired warrior is also making his first JandG ranking appearance. And not a moment too soon. He’s been beating up on the competition only to be foiled by MVP’s interference. It’s time to hurt MVP at SummerSlam and we can’t wait for that eventuality.

10. The Undertaker (LW: NR)
Black roses, splayed out La Familia members, fear everywhere. He’s baaa-aackkkk!

Dropped Out: Mr Kennedy (get well soon!), Matt Hardy, and CM Punk

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Wrestler Rankings: 8/11/08

How did I have ‘em last week? Check this link.

We got big shakeups in the jabandgrapple Top 10 this week. Why is that? Well, three of last week’s Top 10 didn’t wrestle this week. And one of ‘em fought Colin Delaney. Doesn’t count.

Also, I can’t reward people for not appearing at shows especially when Mr. Jabandgrapple has tickets to said show. Therefore HHH tumbles. I don’t care if his wife birthed a baby. I really don’t. The Harrisburg area has great hospitals. Bring her on the road. (I’m kidding…I think)

1. Edge (LW: 5)
Pinned Jeff Hardy (tough week for him) on Saturday Night’s Main Event, sent Mick Foley off SmackDown on a stretcher, and looks to still be getting it done with Alicia Fox. Good week all around for the Rated R Superstar.

2. John Cena (LW: 6)
When paired with Batista on RAW it was Cena who got the pin earning him a spot ahead of the Animal making him this week’s biggest riser.

3. Batista (LW: 3)
Holding steady. Can’t wait for his singles match against Cena on SummerSlam.

4. Y2J (LW: 2)
Loved the final edition of The Highlight Reel. Hope its end means more appearance in the ring.

5. HHH (LW: 1)
Congrats on the baby girl. Can’t wait to see you wrestle again even if it’s against The Great Khali.

6. Kofi Kingston (LW: NR)
Kofi looked really good and dominant against Jamie Noble just as all belt holders should be.

7. CM Punk (LW: 4)
Just when I started to warm to Punk he was steamrolled by former exile William Regal. Regal bloodied his lip and inflicted a great deal of punishment before Punk gained the pin. It was not the sort of performance expected from a champion. Can you imagine Regal bloodying HHH’s lip?

8. Great Khali (LW: 10)
Khali beat the tar(heel) out of Jeff Hardy on SmackDown and might have been the week’s most impressive wrestler.

9. Matt Hardy (LW: 7)
Obligatory ECW entry. And he wrestled this week unlike serial steel bender Mark Henry.

10. Mr. Kennedy (LW: NR)
Great win against the bronchitis-impaired Shelton Benjamin in what might not be the last of the Clairol Matches.

Dropped Out: Kane, The Undertaker

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Wrestler Rankings: 8/3/08

Brian Kendrick def. Stevie Richards
The Great Khali def. Jeff Hardy
Maria def. Victoria
Edge and the wedding planner Alicia Fox blissfully talk

1. In my ECW recap I said that the majority of people around me didn’t appreciate my cheers. That said, my “Give Michael Jackson back his jacket” taunt towards Brian Kendrick was greeted with lots of laughter.

2. I didn’t rest on my laurels. My next offering was “How did you get Suge Knight to be your manager?” which wasn’t received so warmly. Mrs. JandG added, “And why is he dressed like Seal?” More silence. After Ezekial busts Stevie Richards up (post The Kendrick pin) I wonder aloud “Why don’t they just let Suge wrestle? He killed Tupac, you know?” Crickets. “And Biggie too!” Mrs. JandG quietly says “Ok, now please be quiet, I don’t want you to be offed too. He’s got spies. Even in the upper deck at the Giant Center. I’m serious.”

3. The Great Khali’s music comes on and my taunting reaches absurd levels. Only my taunts are directed at referee Charles Robinson and no one seems to understand. Taunts like “Don’t get your skull crushed again blondie!” and “You can’t run away this time single dad.” Mrs. JandG turned to me and wondered, “What (in blazes) are you talking about?”

4. Jeff Hardy isn’t looking bad against his competitor who, by the way, is twice his size. But of course there is no way he can win since Khali is HHH’s SummerSlam opponent. In fact, Hardy hits a Whisper in the Wind and then a Swanton Bomb but before he can pin the Punjabi peripatetic MVP interrupts things. Khali lifts Hardy into the ring by his skull. Charles Robinson is shaking with fear. Khali puts Hardy into a Facial Vice Grip and Robinson, calling on his own past traumas, ends the match.

Hardy didn’t want it to end. He could’ve come back. Robinson needs to let go of his past and his fears.

5. Hardy doesn’t look good. Not one bit. Mrs. JandG offers “Jeff could really use a Chocolate Spa.” Good thing he’s in Hershey.

6. FYI, these WWE Divas matches aren’t nearly as interesting when you’re in the upper deck. On TV, they are a little better. Mick Foley makes a Sound of Music reference in regards to Maria. Tori Amos last segment, Julie Andrews and American musicals this time? Is there something you need to tell us Mick?

7. Edge and Alicia Fox a/k/a the wedding planner discuss her SmackDown ticket situation. Edge says “I got you that ticket so you’d be up close and personal to watch the Cutting Edge” but, he intonates, I didn’t want you backstage with me causing problems. At this point I yell, “There are empty seats for you up here Alicia! Come on up. I won’t deny you!” Crickets. Crickets.

Post from: EveryJoe

8/1/08 WWE SmackDown: We Were There Again Part Two

Every week WWE.com rates their wrestlers. Which got me to thinking…I have a wrestling blog. Why can’t I rate them? So I did. And I will try to every Monday morning in preparation the next week of grappling fun.

Don’t go searching for the “last week” ratings that I refer to. I didn’t post them, they only existed in my mind.

Rankings

1. Triple H (LW: 1)
I might not like HHH but you can’t deny his championship clout. He hasn’t lost in ages, his mic skills are still impeccable, and he is about to welcome a little baby into the world.

2. Y2J (LW: 2)
Right now Y2J is the lead dog in my favorite WWE storyline/feud. Heck, he’s even made Lance Cade interesting. Jericho’s weekly taunts of the arena crowds keep getting better and his veteran wrestling skills are always fun to watch.

3. Batista (LW: 3)
Sure he didn’t take the title from CM Punk but he hasn’t lost to him in a televised bout either. Batista has brought a great energy to RAW and his possible upcoming feud with John Cena has us excited.

4. CM Punk (LW: 6)
The Straight Edge Superstar is growing on us. He may not be winning but he isn’t losing either. His confidence is building and every week he gets more comfortable with the WWE Belt and with the crowds. This rating is bound to go up once he pins a fellow top tier superstar.

5. Edge (LW: 4)
It was a bad week for Edge. He spent the entire SmackDown show trying to live down his poorly timed dalliance with Alicia Fox a/k/a The Wedding Planner and then he wife (or is it ex-wife) reinstated his arch-rival The Undertaker.

6. John Cena (LW: 9)
Cena fell last week in the rankings after his ignominious pin by JBL in what was the worst match at the Great American Bash. But good old John stepped in up on Monday when he lifted both DiBiase and Rhodes over his head AT THE SAME TIME and then hugged his proud father. And later in the night he accidentally punched Batista and may have started a feud between two titans. Great week.

7. Matt Hardy (LW: NR)
Matt actually wrestled last week unlike his similarly initialed ECW cohort Mark Henry. So he earns this rank. And what a match it was, a pay-per-view quality Fatal Four Way where he triumphed over three good wrestlers: Miz, Morrison, and Finlay.

8. Undertaker (LW: NR)
He’s coming back! Need I say more.

9. Kane (LW: 5)
Two weeks ago we were intrigued by the burlap bag and the bonkers attitude. Now that that storyline has gone nowhere we’re a little bored.

10. The Great Khali (LW: NR)
I don’t want to include this big Punjabi stiff in this list but he did beat Mr. Kennedy, M.V.P., Umaga, Jeff Hardy, and Big Show in a Battle Royale to earn this spot and a SummerSlam match against Triple H.

Dropping Out: Shawn Michaels (LW: 7); Big Show (LW : 8); Kofi Kingston (LW; 10)

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Wrestler Rankings: 7/28

HOUR ONE RESULTS
Finlay def. Chuck Palumbo
The Great Khali def. Deuce and Domino

INTRO
La Familia begins the night drinking champagne in the center of the ring celebrating Edge’s World Heavyweight Championship and banishment of The Undertaker. This extended segment is highlight by a fake light’s out Undertaker intro, an extended continental kiss between Edge and Vickie Guerrero, and Vickie’s shocking return to her wheelchair. The crowd is especially hostile to Vickie. They reign profuse boos on her when she announces that she plans to marry Edge on July 11’s SmackDown. Batista interrupts their fun and is now scheduled to face La Familia in tonight’s main event.

MATCH #1
The Finlay – Chuck Palumbo feud continues with a no-DQ “Belfast Brawl” contest. Finlay wins after popping Palumbo with Chuck’s motorcycle chain. Palumbo is predictably distracted by Hornswaggle, this time by a vicious uppercut to the privates. I like the rough and tumble brawls these two are involved in but Finlay’s now won all three matches and I’m guessing their run is over. That’s a shame. Judging from the camera work Finlay’s next feud will involve M.V.P.

INTERLUDE
Big Show comes out showing off his gruesome eye injury. Mark Henry appears and his far too sweaty to look at. He’s challenging Big Show to a fight and their forced dialogue is painfully slow. These two won’t be joining the debate club anytime soon. This is a natural feud. Who else can these behemoths face? But it doesn’t get me that excited.

MATCH #2
The Great Khali is back and looking as awkward as ever. He easily defeats Deuce and Domino in a handicap match while managing to stay in the center of the ring for the match’s entire 90 seconds. Evidently the less movement the better for the Punjabi giant. In honor of The Great Khali’s homeland the accompanying picture is a yawning Bengal Tiger.

INTERLUDE
After showing off her engagement ring to seven WWE divas Vickie Guerrero invokes the late great Fabulous Moolah before announcing a new SmackDown women’s title as well as a Diva’s Challenge. This is a great idea and should add some needed excitement to the weekly SmackDown WWE Divas match.

Hour one of an uneventful SmackDown is over where we saw a grand total of two matches, one of which was over before it began.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE SmackDown 6/7 Hour One: All Talk and No Action

In the other title change at the event Matt Hardy defeated MVP with a clean twist of fate to pick up the United States Title.

Kane pinned foe Chavo Guerrero with a chokeslam to retain the ECW championship and Undertaker submitted Edge via gogoplata to keep the heavyweight title.

What repercussions will the title changes have? What fallout will we see from the PPV? Only time will tell though we will have a good indication of what is to come following tonight’s edition of Monday night Raw.

RESULTS

• Triple H def. Randy Orton, John Cena and JBL in a Fatal Four Way Elimination Match (new WWE Champion)
• World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker def. Edge
• Matt Hardy def. United States Champion MVP (new champion)
• Big Show def. The Great Khali
• ECW Champion Kane def. Chavo Guerrero
• Shawn Michaels def. Batista
• 12-Diva Tag Team Match: Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Layla, Victoria and Natalya def. Mickie James, Maria, Ashley, Michelle McCool, Cherry and Kelly Kelly

Post from: EveryJoe

Backlash: Triple H Earns WWE Championship; Matt Hardy Crowned US Champ

• World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker vs. Edge
• WWE Championship Fatal Four Way Match: Randy Orton vs. JBL vs. John Cena vs. Triple H
• Big Show vs. The Great Khali
• ECW Champion Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero
• Batista vs. Shawn Michaels

Post from: EveryJoe

Updated Backlash PPV Lineup