Morning-shift manager Jilly Deux-Naught knew something was wrong when, for the first time in six months of working at the Dunkin’ Donuts in Starnesville, her cash drawer didn’t balance.

To her horror, Jilly was $1.27 short.

“This is the first time I’ve ever been off,” said Jilly, “I don’t let anyone slide just because they’re a regular customer and I always count change twice — even though it backs up the line like crazy.”

Dunkin’ Donuts regional vice-president French Cruller was quick to call for a Federal bailout saying, “I’ve contacted officials in Washington and requested an emergency package of $5,000,001.27 to help us weather the current recession. A collapse of the donut industry would be a catastrophe for all Americans. Everybody knows ‘America Runs on Dunkin’.'”

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner testified that, even though he is a Starbucks drinker, he felt that losses at drive-thru breakfast restaurants threatened the very fabric of the American economic system.

“I know how I am when I don’t have coffee in the morning,” said Geithner, “I skipped coffee one time last fall and later that morning decided I’d let Lehman Brothers go under.”

Geithner admitted that “feeling cranky” wasn’t really a valid basis for making economic decisions and vowed to keep a Mr. Coffee in his office in the future.

Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank blamed Wall Street for the current donut woes and said the whole ‘take-a-penny, leave-a-penny’ concept was invented by selfish investment bankers who thought they could play “fast and loose with their morning breakfast bill.”

Frank called for tighter standards and an new Federal agency with broad powers to crack down on take-a-penny abuses.

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Geithner explains to Administration officials how new Federal policy of ‘take-a-trillion dollars, leave-a-penny’ will work in practice…

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Image: The Official White House Photostream on Flickr

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Post from: EveryJoe

Cashier At Dunkin’ Donuts Comes Up Short