There’s a new board game in town. It’s Grand Theft Auto: The Board Game! There are hookers, pimps, automatic rifles, and all the other usual stuff one would need when engaging in a turf war or shooting people in the face. Just don’t try sniffing the synthesized drugs that came with the set. MADtv is the mastermind behind this side-splitting skit.

In Grand Theft Auto: The Board Game, you can murder anyone.

Post from: EveryJoe

MADtv spoofs Grand Theft Auto

There’s been a lot of noise recently surrounding Dead Space, that survival-horror shooter by EA, and it has something to do with the game being allegedly banned in several countries at once. According to EA community manager Ben Swanson, “Dead Space will be banned in Germany, China, and Japan.”

Interestingly, it’s not quite an open and shut case. GamePolitics somehow managed to smell something foul. Their reasons?

• “Germany, perhaps. They’ve been tough on game violence of late. But Japan? The home of Resident Evil?
• Does EA even distribute console games in China (due to piracy concerns)?
• No announcements from the individual censorship bodies of the three nations?
• All three bans come in simultaneously?
• Also of note, Australia’s notoriously censorious OFLC cleared Dead Space with MA15+
• And the BBFC, which banned Manhunt 2 in the U.K., cleared Dead Space with 18
• No official press release from EA on the alleged bans?”

What’s even more fascinating is that a GamePolitics reader, presumably from Germany, commented that Dead Space has not been banned in the country. According to the reader, products can’t be banned in Germany until they’re actually available. Since Dead Space is shipping on October 24 in Europe, there’s no way it can be banned in Germany just yet.

It’s not just GamePolitics saying that the game wasn’t really banned. Even Videogaming247 revealed that a German-language report by Eurogamer.de says otherwise.

So why the deception? Evidently, any publicity is good publicity for EA’s PR. When gamers find out that a certain game is banned because of its violence, the temptation of getting said violent game seems too great to resist. Makes sense? Apparently so.

Please EA, spare us the crap. If Dead Space is truly banned, then say so. If it’s not banned, then shut up.

Image of Dead Space is brought to us by EA, unfortunately.

Post from: EveryJoe

Crap-Detector: EA announces Dead Space is banned in several countries

There’s a new trailer for the Max Payne movie. You know, the one starring Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis? Some parts of it may look familiar, but a lot of the scenes here are pretty new. The movie may not be directed by Uwe Boll and may have a considerable budget behind it, but I’m beginning to have my doubts.

For starters, Marky Mark as Max Payne? It’s very distracting. Almost as distracting as putting Eddie Murphy or Tom Cruise in a Harry Potter movie. Secondly, there doesn’t seem to be any difference between Max Payne the character and the other roles that Wahlberg has portrayed. Where’s the gruff, constipated, law enforcer?

Bottom line: I’m still on the fence on this one, especially after this trailer.

Post from: EveryJoe

New Max Payne theatrical trailer is out

Game reviews have been getting a lot of criticism nowadays. Several of the issues raised are valid: that the ratings seem too high, that publishers wield influence in the reviews, and certain genres like MMOs aren’t fit for a definitive review. As the popularity of blogs and user-generated content increase, expect this sentiment—especially among core audiences who have access to this medium—to be more prevalent.

Interestingly, game reviewers themselves offer no defense to the accusations being hurled against them. Is this a sign of guilt? Naysayers would be quick to agree. Let me just say this: don’t flatter yourselves.

Game journalists write about video games and review these products for a living. There are two main differences between these professionals and the multitude of wannabes that try in vain to do the same thing: the professionals do it way better, and get paid for it.

Just because the job seems easy (i.e. play and finish video games, write a 1,200-word review, cash in the check), many gamers think they can do better. Let me ask this: if it were really as easy as people thought it was, then why aren’t there more professional game journalists in the world?

Because the truth is—it’s not that easy.

When hopefuls get ignored for their “thorough” write-ups, when wannabes can’t get their feet through the game-reviewing door, when aspirants fail no matter what they do, they criticize.

It’s just sour grapes.

This doesn’t mean that the issues raised about game reviews aren’t valid because they are. However, the problem doesn’t lie directly with the medium itself, but with other factors. The high ratings, for example, wouldn’t be addressed immediately by just changing the numerical scales. A paradigm shift is also needed for the readers who have gotten used to the practice.

MMOs are another matter. Since these virtual worlds are constantly evolving, updates should perhaps be “reviewed” as well. An analysis could be done on individual updates, or the MMO could be scrutinized as a whole—including the latest update. There are different ways to go about this, but the answer doesn’t lie in attacking the medium.

Ultimately, we look to these reviewers for recommendations. We must take a review for what it is—an opinion piece. Some of its writers do it for a living; some post it on a free blog. We may not always agree with the authors, but we don’t really have a choice. It’s either we wait for our friends’ recommendations (who are likely waiting for the reviews themselves), base our decision on a single rating or aggregate score, allow ourselves to be swept up by hype, or read the entire review and come out informed.

Image for Gears of War is courtesy of Microsoft Games.

Post from: EveryJoe

Why game reviews get a lot of flak

I’m done withThe Bourne Conspiracy and Contra 4. As you may have noticed, I’ve already finished Jason Bourne’s PlayStation 3 game. As for Contra 4, I don’t plan on touching it for at least a year.

You know, I always develop an overwhelming urge to throw my Nintendo DS against the wall while playing Contra 4, and it’s not just to see if the game cartridge would survive the impact.

See? Violent video games don’t turn people into homicidal maniacs. Frustrating video games do.

I’m looking forward to finally picking up Killzone: Liberation and Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror for the PSP this weekend. If time permits, I’m also planning on finally getting some quality time alone with Mass Effect’s new DLC titled “Bring Down the Sky.”

So what are you playing this weekend?

Image for Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror is courtesy of Sony Computer Entertainment.

Post from: EveryJoe

What are you playing this weekend?

I’ve always been skeptical of video games turned into motion pictures and with good reason. Thanks to a so-called filmmaker named Uwe, we’ve been getting movies so bad they’d make Ed Wood blush. I view the upcoming Max Payne movie (starring Mark Wahlberg) as no exception, but it does seem to show some promise thanks to the trailer. It may not feature the same mournful violins, but it’s catchy and strangely sounds familiar.

On top of that, the Max Payne movie seems to have a decent budget behind it. I may not be crazy about its cast, but let’s wait for October 17th (the film’s release date) before proclaiming it a bust. Or not.

Post from: EveryJoe

First Max Payne movie trailer is now available for viewing

On to the questions!

1. Name and Job/s (if you want to share it) – Mike, video games channel editor at b5media.
2. You’re currently playing? – Grand Theft Auto IV, The World Ends With You, and NBA 2K8. I have Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay, Gears of War, and Baldur’s Gate installed in my PC hard drive, but Niko Bellic demands a lot of attention.
3. Favorite game genre/s – RPG, FPS/third-person shooter (obviously!), adventure, and sports games.
4. Favorite game/s of all time – Gabriel Knight(PC), X-Com(PC), Bionic Commando(NES), Castlevania 1-3(NES), and Deus Ex(PC).
5. Favorite game character/s – Gabriel Knight and HK-47.
6. Earliest and fondest memory of gaming? – Earliest and fondest are two different things for me. Earliest: playing Combat, Asteroid, and Space Invaders in the Atari 2600 with my cousins; Fondest: Finishing Final Fantasy for the NES in one sitting due to the Philippine blackouts of the 1990s.
7. Most hated gaming moment/s? – Any multiplayer session with complete strangers.
8. Gaming gadgets/consoles you own/owned – Game & Watch, Nintendo Family Computer, Sega Mega Drive, PlayStation, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3 with FragFX, Nintendo DS with Wi-Fi adapter, GameBoy Advance. I play a lot of games for the PC, but I don’t think they count since it’s not a dedicated gaming device. If the PC counted, then we might as well put in my iPod and mobile phones in the list.
9. If you had a “gamer’s shirt” what would the color and design be? (or if you have a favorite gamer shirt, what does it look like?) – I have a gray shirt with the 1UP icon plastered in front.
10. Gaming stuff on your wish list? – all Guitar Hero games and wireless guitar, the complete Rock Band set, Gabriel Knights Mysteries, a couple of DualShock 3 controllers, a U.S. version 60GB PlayStation 3 (I own an Asian 40GB one), a limited edition Metal Gear Solid 4, Fallout 3, and ultimately: an Xbox 360 that NEVER EVER goes into RRoD, if there is such a thing.

Post from: EveryJoe

Tagged! When do I get to eat?

Ahh, action figures. Geek or not, you’ve just gotta love them. When I was a kid, these toys were mainly from movies and TV shows. Today, even video games get the miniature treatment. According to the National Entertainment Collectibles Association, action figures for Gears of War are due in stores in late spring of 2008.

The first assortment includes Marcus Fenix, Augustus Cole, and the Locust Drone. If you’re not used to the action figures of today, know that they come with a lot of detail and numerous points of articulation. In other words, they’re too delicate to be toys.

I’m all for the detail, but where’s the fun in just displaying these pricey paperweights action figures? Call me old, but I grew up during a period when I can fling my G.I. Joes from a decent distance (say 2 meters) and not fear of any broken limbs.

Funny how toying with a Marcus Fenix action figure may be my only chance to play anything remotely Gears of War, especially since my highly-anticipated PC version conks out on me. Pathetic.

Images from NECA

Post from: EveryJoe

Gears of War action figures coming out in late spring

By the way, if you’re using Firefox, you’ll view the video just fine. If you’re using IE, click here to view the clip.

Post from: EveryJoe

New Halo 3 video: Red vs. Blue D.I.Y.

I was also advised to call a neighboring branch to reserve my copy of Gears of War for the PC because it seems that reservations are done on a per-branch basis. Once my favorite branch closes, I lose my reservation.

As a tribute, I’ve embedded a Gears of War video montage to the tune of the A-Team. You’ve probably watched it already, but I’m sure a retake would still elicit a smile. See the video after the jump.

You see, the SM Southmall branch is where I got majority of my games lineup, and I can’t help but grin at the nostalgia triggered by the song. With my branch closed, I have to drive all the way to the next mall just to get my copy of Gears.

Are you reading this, DataBlitz? I have to get off my lazy rear, drive half a kilometer away, and actually burn calories just to have a look at what’s latest! Looks like my couch potato days are over.

Post from: EveryJoe

Ode to my favorite games retailer branch