For Part One of the May 16 SmackDown recap click here.

The proud half dozen make their way towards the ring looking increasingly paranoid. Are they afraid of a second indoor lightning strike? Edge is, well, edgy. Either Curt Hawkins or Zack Ryder is pushing Vicki Guerrero along. We can’t tell them apart. But where are Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely? They’ve abandoned Vicki, the Rated-R Entourage, the Rated-R Superstar.

As the not-so-fearsome foursome pass the guy at ringside dressed like Hulk Hogan and a guy with a “Mick Foley, My Wife Loves Your Sock” sign they face their first real problem of the night: the WWE ring is NOT handicap accessible. Will Edge carry his true love into the ring and then place her back in the chair? No such luck. She miraculously stands up, walks up the stairs, through the ropes (which Edge doesn’t even spread open for her!), and then flops back into her chair proving why she isn’t included on the wikipedia list of notable wheelchair users.

I wonder “why is she using the chair at all if she doesn’t need it?” The Wife responds “it’s all an elaborate plot to use a wheelchair as a weapon in a wrestling match. That’s never been done, right?” It might have happened when Vince McMahon was bound but I’m not sure. Readers, do you know?

As The Undertaker’s bells chime Mick Foley says that he almost feels sorry for Vicki. Not us. We want her choke slammed! The match itself is just a precursor to that eventuality. But before that Edge looks a little too afraid of The Undertaker, Vicki shrieks a lot in absolute fear, cries a little, and The Undertaker choke slams Ryder and Hawkins AT THE SAME TIME!

Then while Edge is nowhere to be found The Undertaker walks over to Vicki, picks her up and out of her chair by the throat and into the center of the ring. But before the slam can happen Edge comes to the rescue, topples the Phenom, makes the crippled Vicki run out the ring while he orders Ryder and Hawkins to “get the wheelchair.” Chivalry is not dead but Edge’s chances to beat The Undertaker at Judgment Day look to be.

Picture Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

The Undertaker Gets His Revenge…on a Wheelchair-Bound Woman

Seven wrestlers had a part in last week’s Smackdown Main Event battle royal ending with Edge securing his Judgment Day PPV title shot against The Undertaker. How many people would be participating in this week’s Smackdown Main Event? Two, three, four? How about another lucky seven!

Six persons including wheelchair-bound Vicki Guerrero vs. The Undertaker. The announcement coming from SmackDown Assistant GM Theodore Long who went behind Vicki Guerrero’s back straight to the WWE Board of Directors. What must that board room look like? We’re thinking it’s bound by a steel cage, cedar wood desk in the middle surrounded by folding chairs. Just in case. No one allowed to leave until a decision is made. Disagreements settled the old fashioned way.

In Vicki Guerrero’s case the Board’s decision was simple. She needs discipline. And that discipline need not involve Edge, champagne flutes, wood headboards, or Reddi Whip. The Board’s edict dictates she “either compete in (her) first ever wrestling match tonight or be removed as SmackDown GM.” She promptly fires the messenger, Teddy Long, only he says “You can’t, because I quit!” Technically she was first so the firing takes precedent but whose counting. His real response comes a few seconds later when he gleefully announces her opponent: it’s THE UNDERRRRRTAAAAAKER!

She can’t refuse to fight The Undertaker but she can and does change the rules. She tells us – while standing in front of a Georgia O’Keefe print (no symbolism there) – that the Main Event is now her six vs. The Undertaker’s one. Given her wheelchair-bound status Vicki still has nowhere to run but nevertheless has a few more places to hide.

We can’t believe how excited we are to see a presumably crippled woman get beat up by a presumably undead behemoth. Oh, it is so on.

Part Two of the May 16 SmackDown recap appears here.

Picture Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

Vicki Guerrero vs. the WWE Board of Directors