RAW Results and Commentary
JBL pins CM Punk and will fight for the Heavyweight Championship at SummerSlam.
Shawn Michaels might quit wrestling to be with his family.

Segment Five
After Layla inexplicably writhes around seductively for a few minutes William Regal rudely interrupts her. Before he can tell us how he’s King Jamie Noble rushes into the ring to attack him and win Layla’s love. Regal is about twice his size. What was the point of that?
Segment Six
The next match is the CM Punk – JBL – Y2J handicap match “(Mike) Adamle Original.” Shouldn’t the World Heavyweight champ be headlining Monday Night RAW? Adamle …read more

RAW Results and Commentary
Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix def. D-Lo Brown and Kelly Kelly
Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr. def. Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole
Kofi Kingston def. Jamie Noble
CM Punk def. William Regal
Mickie James def. Jillian
Batista and John Cena def. JBL and Kane

Last night RAW crowned a new General Manager. Someone to stop the anarchy and the lawlessness. The expectation was a Gary Cooper, a Governator, a John Wayne, or even (gasp) a Gipper. But we all should have seen the writing of the wall. Chaos has been good for business. RAW’s ratings are up and fans are interested …read more

Who would have thunk it? Last night’s William Regal get gone match was weaved into the storyline because the former RAW GM violated the WWE’s Substance Abuse and Drug Testing Policy for the second time thus incurring a 60-day suspension. Looks like we weren’t too far off last night with our own conclusion of Regal descending into an alcoholic misery, moving to Albany, and becoming the subject of William Kennedy’s next novel.
London’s salacious Sun newspaper reports that it is not known which drug it was that he either tested positive for or was caught with. But the tabloid does …read more

Image details: Screening Of "Carandiru" At Tribeca Film Festival served by picapp.com
Monday Night Raw Match Four:
William Regal vs. Mr. Kennedy
Who is that in the picture? It’s William Kennedy. Pulitzer Prize winning author of Albany, N.Y.-based novels. His colorful characters range from the wonderfully real (gangster Legs Diamond) to the fictional but evocatively and emotionally empathetic (Francis Phelan). All of whom are much more compelling than his namesakes William Regal and Mr. Kennedy.
Nevertheless we are sure some of Kennedy’s (the author) shady players know their way around brass knuckles which is what William Regal has now outfitted himself with. He tells …read more

Image details: A Conversation with Mr. Warmth.Don Rickles served by picapp.com
Monday Night Raw: The Pit of the Piper
Before the match begins Ted “The Million Dollar Man” DiBiase interrupts Vince McMahon’s meeting with an exercising William Regal. Clearly DiBiase’s son’s recent entry into the WWE means that his dad wasn’t far behind. Now it all makes sense. Ted and Regal will be engaged in a RAW GM power play. Regal’s malevolent megalomania was getting tired anyway.
Next up is Roddy Piper’s return to Piper’s Pit. But no, it’s Santino Marella wonderfully dressed as Roddy with a big stomach and a bad hairpiece. …read more

The Main Event
Between bouts Beth Phoenix appears and complains about not having the Women’s Title. We pretend she’s not there and move on to the next interview: Randy Orton. Orton is snarling, Orton is boastful and he’s ready for John Cena. He pulls out his litany of self-promotion. “I’ve taken out the best” blah blah blah, “Age of Orton” blah blah blah “Triple H has a lucky night” blah blah blah. He ends the interview by stating tonight he’ll prove he’s the smartest wrestler in the WWE. We’re thinking a trivia contest, maybe a puzzle.

The Build Up
72% of WWE fans believe Shawn Michaels‘ knee injury is real. We are not one of them. Neither was Y2J but he now admits that after their last Monday match he is convinced and wants to apologize. Shawn Michaels limps in, his knee looking at least 10x worse than last week and a good 50% worse than the week before. But (GASP) Michaels admits he’s not hurt. Is he faking again? Why won’t this segment end? We will no longer fake interest.Segment Grade: D
OH MY GOSH! The return of Jeff Hardy. He’s back! We’ve missed you so much …read more

The Setup\\r\\nThere\\\’s some big bad out-of-control bullying going on. For the third(!) week in a row RAW General Manager William Regal is angry about being disrespected. This time, instead of turning out the lights, he\\\’s kicking out a random pair in the audience. Miraculously, he picks out Mickie James\\\’ brother and sister to toss. Evidently they\\\’ve made the trek to Detroit from Richmond, Va. Gas prices be damned.\\r\\n\\r\\nMickie James doth protest the ejection. After she balks at her own Regal-dictated dismissal he angrily tells her \\\”What part of get out of the ring don\\\’t you understand?\\\” (Nominee #1 for best …read more

The Setup:
Monday Night Raw begins with none other than the chairman Vince McMahon. Here’s a shocker, he “100% supports and endorses” William Regal, calls him “visionary” and “innovative” and says he reminds him of himself. The audience boos heartily, still smarting from last Monday’s premature blackout.
Regal comes out and turns the lights off again to a chorus of “Regal sucks” chants. He promises to do the entire show in “internal” darkness, which might not be eternal but makes sense somehow. Mr. Kennedy shows up with a silly amount of facial stubble. Regal reminds everyone that “I will not be disrespected!” …read more

Yesterday, Dave Metzler’s Wrestler Observer reported that the Legend Killer Randy Orton has requested a few weeks leave from house shows and an upcoming WWE tour to Mexico presumably to spend more time with his wife. Orton’s wife is expecting a child this summer.
Cowboy Bob’s son cited burnout as the reason for his request. Orton’s absence should not affect his cable TV and pay-per-view appearances. We’ll still be able to see him every week.