What is it with people always telling you that something tastes like chicken? Not everything in this world tastes like chicken. First of all, they tell you that because they want you to get you to try it, but clearly it isn’t true. What these people are also saying is that chicken tastes like nothing. They use chicken as if it has no taste at all so seriously, try this because it tastes like nothing! Well then why do we want to try it in the first place? Also, chicken does not taste like nothing, it’s very delicious!

T-shirt courtesy of funny-tshirts.biz

Two times in particular stand out to me when this ‘chicken’ stunt was pulled on me. One was at a very young age when my parents thought that my sisters and I needed to eat Tongue. Yes you heard me, tongue. When I say tongue, i’m talking about a cow’s tongue which is the most revolting thing I have ever laid eyes on. So my parents felt that we needed to eat this and told us it was chicken. What are we having for dinner tonight Mom? Chicken! Okay! So i go about my own business till i came downstairs thinking dinner was almost ready, and saw this disgusting massive tongue sitting on the counter that was curved and rolled around this bone thing. I screamed and ran out of the room. That is NOT chicken. That didn’t matter though, we still had to eat it but know they couldn’t tell us it was chicken. What did they say? Don’t worry, it tastes like chicken. I sat staring down at my plate and actually saw little bumps all over it which were the taste buds. ewww, I just got the shivers even writing that remembering it. Anyways, long of the short I tasted this tongue that we were made to eat and guess what. It DIDN”T taste like chicken.

The second chicken experience was in Paris. My parents tried to pull the same story when they ordered frog legs. Trust me they said. This is a Parisian delicacy. Everyone loves it, and don’t worry, it tastes like chicken! My sisters and I were a little older than the tongue experience so a little more mature. What did we do? We took pictures of ourselves holding up these frog legs thinking it was hilarious. Everyone in the restaurant were staring at our parents as if they should control their children. We took our first bite and to our surprise….it didn’t taste like chicken.

Give it up, Only chicken tastes like chicken and leave the pour thing along. Let it be unique and not everything has to be compared to chicken!

Well that didn’t take long at all. CrookedMonkey.com has already released t-shirts in memory of MJ and our love for the king. Kind of sad to think about it isn’t it? It always takes someone to die for them to be appreciated more than when they were alive. It was so easy to poke fun of him when he was a live and how weird he was, but as soon as something tragic happens, we aren’t laughing anymore are we.

T-shirt courtesy of Crooked Monkey

I think it’s great that we honor Michael Jackson, I just think we do it in the wrong ways. MJ’s music will always live on and we will always have his music, but that’s all we knew him for in the first place. It’s not like he was still producing music and coming out with new hits here and there. His music was finished and he had finished his peak time for his music. His biggest hits had already past and there was nothing that was going to exceed further.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy and turn on Thriller and i’m grooving…but I just think sometimes our world is pretty poor when it comes to attention, who gets it and when. We decide based on when the media tells us. They bring out the stories, they decide what stories are bigger than others and based on the publicity, we follow along.

I hope MJ rests in piece. Despite whatever we said about him in the past about his ‘bizzareness’, he will never be forgotten and his legend will forever live on.

Well there are tons of reasons why I love to camp, the funny thing is is that I hardly do it! So most of the things I ‘love’ to do while camping is envisioning what I actually would do when I camp. What do I envision? Sitting on one of those fold out chairs, taking back a Coors Light while someone is lighting the fire and making hot dogs, and the other people are swimming in the cute little river we are over looking. (This is all before the sun goes down). Then what happens after the sun goes down? That’s easy…more drinking and SHMORES!

T-shirt courtesy of Snorgtees

Shmores, or wait, is it smores? What ever it is they are delicious. There is nothing quite like a toasted marshmellow that has been sitting in the fire pit getting nicely burnt and sometimes even catching on fire. Slab it onto a nice piece of milk chocolate and top it off by squishing it by two gram crackers to make it into a chocolate squishy, melty sandwich. It tastes so good you have no idea. What’s even better is that you have had a couple drinks after this so the mess is unreal. Everything is sticky, your clothes are covered in chocolate and sticky marshmellow and there is probably a little bit of dirt attached to the melted marshsmellow.

This is a pretty funny t-shirt. I’d rock it that’s for sure. Is it just me or does the chocolate look like some Parisian, and the gram cracker look like a hillbilly? I don’t even think the gram cracker knows which direction he is running in.

You are either amazing at it, or you suck. In any event, when it’s your turn and your standing at the other end of the ping pong table, you think and know that this throw is going to be awesome. This throw is going to be the best throw you have ever thrown, and your going to get it into a cup and sink it and win the game. You know you suck, but you feel like you are just the best player on the team and everyone is going to give you high fives all the way around and pick you up and chant your name as you win the final toss.

T-shirt courtesy of BustedTees

That dreams shortly dies after you take your throw and it lands no where near any of the cups and then boucnes off the table. Does this happen to everyone, or just me?

I thought this shirt was appropriate as we are approaching July 1st for us Canadians, and of course July 4th. Luck for you Americans July 4th lands on a Saturday this year so I’m sure your weekend will be filled of fun and not to mention a few cottages playing beer pong. I know it’s a great game, however it better not over shadow and kick out flip cup.

Now were talking. Now flip cup I can handle. You still have the same attitude as if you are the bes player there and going to do the most amazing flip and down your beer faster than anyone else, the difference here though is that I actually can. You DO want me on your team for clip cup.

As soon as it’s my turn, i down that beer, prepare my cup at the enge of the tab, and give it a slightly hard, but not too hard tap with my thumb. Up it goes, flips ones, and lands perfectly on the other end and the next player goes. What a feeling that is. YOu turn around to make sure everyone just saw that amazing turn, and that if your team wins it’s because you cut the teams time in half just by downing that beer.

Everything is a mess and everything is soaked with beer. The table, your clothes, the floor. But no one cares because your team won!

All this beer game talk is making me thirsty. Time to prepare for those cottage weekends and sociaable partying while bringing in the beginning of July. Enjoy and play safe.

What is it with men being cocky. No matter what they think of themselves, even if they think very little of themselves, being cocky is always the easy route out. Ok so it’s funny sometimes, but it’s just easy humor. It is one big inside joke for all you fellows. The size, the looks, the humor. Charm us with something else. This shirt is just the icing on the cake.

T-shirt courtesy of Snorgtees

First of all, whatever it is you’ve got going on there i don’t care how great it is, you still need pants. You are not doing any girl a favour by walking around pantless. I hate to break it to you guys, but it doesn’t paint the prettiest of pictures. You guys act as if it’s one big sculpture and everyone should ooo and aww and think it’s nice to look at. Well guys, it’s not.

You know what would make this shirt popular? If instead of it being a shirt it was a pair of  ladies pants and on the pants it read:

“With a pair of pants like this, who needs a shirt?

Now that is what is going to get people to look twice.

Not everyone will get or understand this shirt unless you have seen the new movie The Hangover. This movie is by far the funniest movie I have seen in a long time. Maybe it was because I wasn’t sure what quite to expect and that I didn’t know much about it, or maybe the fact that I could relate to it on so many levels, but I literally was laughing outloud through the entire time. I felt like i was in my own living room in the movie theater laughing with friends. Ok so you guys get the point that it was funny. So what’s this about the t-shirt?

T-shirt courtesy of NerdyShirts.com

So 4 guys go to Vegas for a dude’s Bachelor party. Typical plan but none the less made this movie awesome. They have a big night out right after they cheers to a “here’s to a night we will never forget”. Two seconds later, it’s morning and what happens? They don’t remember ANYTHING about the night before. The entire movie is back tracking with clues and hints they find to try to piece the night together. On top of it all, the bachelor himself has gone missing, and the 3 guys are on a mission to find him and bring him back to his bride to be.

Sounds pretty common (not the loosing your friend part) but the whole ‘not remembering your evening’. I find it strange to think a movie like this hasn’t been done before, but in any even very glad that it has been done now. This t-shirt obviously comes from one of the obstacles the guys find on the way. A baby. I don’t want to give away the movie for those of you who haven’t seen it, but this movie is done so well, that normally a missing baby is supposed to be a sad story and make all the girls in the theater go “awwww” instead, we are laughing along and just as puzzled as the guys as to where the hell that baby came from.

If you havne’t seen it, hop to it and go see it right now. Right now! Go!

One of my favorite expressions ‘to tickle the ivory’. Don’t know where it came from, and I don’t know if it’s a common, but to tickle the ivory means to play the piano. Get it? Ivory is what keys are made of (elephant tusks) and when you play the piano, you are simply just tickling them! I think it’s very clever. My mom uses this expression all the time and now I have adapted to it.

My dad loves the piano and wanted his three daughters to learn how to play. His dream was to one day see each of us play at a concert, wearing a blue velvet bow in our hair. Don’t ask. I have no idea how he came up with that one. My dad was in retail so used to come up with all these fashion trends saying that they were ‘in style’ at the moment and knew this because he was in with the fashion peeps. Ok dad, so what do you have for us today? He would come home from trips and have all new outfits for us, some matching (which i loved, I am the youngest remember and wanted always to be just like my sisters) and some not. What were some of his best items? Flannel, pleated, plaid skirts that went down to our knees. (I think flannel, pleated and plaid kind of all mean the same thing when you are talking about these skirts but it sounded better with three ways to describe).  I got the red, my sister got the green, and the other blue. We were too young to have an opinion at that point so what did we wear for Christmas that year? Our pleated kilts. Another classic? Stirrup cord pants.

But that’s besides the point, we were talking about piano. So my dad made us all take piano lessons till we got to grade 4. After that, if we wanted to quit, we could. That’s exactly what both my sisters did. They got to grade 4 and quit. Me on the other hand, didn’t actually mind the piano so though why wouldn’t I just continue? So i did and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. At any time I can just sit down and ‘tickle the ivory’ and i find it very relaxing and as well love to be able to say that i can play the piano. I am no Beethoven, but I can get by. My sisters are both very jealous of my talent, and wish that they weren’t so quick to quit and my Dad just says I told you so.

So where am i getting at? I think the t-shirt I am describing to you today represent by two most impressive, not to mention favorite, talents. Playing the piano, and drinking.

T-shirt courtesy of BustedTees

Beethoven’s fifth certainly is a powerful movement, and depending on what he is drinking there, the 5th drink could be just as powerful.

I certainly didn’t need lessons to learn how to drink, that came from my Dad, the one who also told me to play the piano. So I may not listen to him about everything, and he never got his concert with a blue velvet bow, but the things I know he is right about, he really is right!

How do you know my name is Franca, and that my picture on the author page is me? And that I am female? Ok so, you can trust me because I actually work for b5, so my name is Franca, and I am female, and that picture is me. BUT, there are many instances where that might not be the case. The internet is a place where people can come to be whoever they want.

Like this guy. He obviously wants to be a 15 year old girl. Not too sure why? But forever reason, that’s a fetish of his. I bet he has 3 different ‘internet’ personalities and that creeps me out! I don’t have anything to worry about because I only really use the internet for email, blogging, and research, but there are people out there that live in cyber space and cyber chat all night long. You know who you will find in cyber space? This guy right here who wants to be a 15 year old girl.

I’m sure that we are all aware of that, and no one can really be that naive, but it still continues and still goes on. Would I ever want to wear a shirt like this? No. Would I ever want to see a guy wearing this? Definitely not. Do I know why this shirt was made?  No idea. In any event, it’s creepy, and to think this guys wants to be a 15 year old female makes me curious as to what really goes on in this world today.

T-shirt courtesy of NerdyShirts

I used to think I was an amazing poet. English is definitely not my favourite subject, but when it came to learning how to rhyme, I thought i was the queen. All you had to do is write a line, and the next line had to rhyme with the last word of the first line. How simple is that?

Well, I now realize it’s a little bit more complicated than that. Sure if you rhyme is all flows nicely, but it has to have a little bit more of a meaning, and the poem has to tell a story.

So a couple weeks ago I was looking through old books and files from school from when I was in like grade 2, and I happened to find my poetry book. It was a work of art. I would like to share with you a poem that I found, that I handed into my teacher thinking that it deserved a gold star.

Candy here,
Candy there,
Candy everywhere.
Munch on this,
Munch on that,
Munch until your fat.

A little bit of foreshadow that I have a sweet tooth? Well I think this t-shirt is a little bit of foreshadow that whatever guy (or girl) is wearing it, has a little bit of a sweet tooth for something else. Something tells me this isn’t just about liking a fox, or enjoying a good boat ride

T-Shirt courtesy of Snorgtees

Why is it that whenever you want to go shopping, you never can find anything? You finally put your savings, and your attitude to buying a whole new wardrobe, and then store after store, you actually never find anything. It’s those days where you don’t have the time, money, or effort to shop that everything you come across you simply just ‘have’ to have.
I recently just set aside a Saturday to spend the whole day shopping because I was in desperate need of some new clothes. Ok, not in need, nobody needs anything other than food, water, and oxygen, but in this case, clothes came a close 4th. What a disappointment. I spend the whole day, excited to go into every store I had planned, and only came out with a lousy t-shirt.

T-shirt courtesy of BustedTees

So you come home with one item, and the next day when you are trying to get ready for work, you are even more pissed because you had dreamed of coming home with all these cool new outfits to wear to work, and you are left with nothing. The items that you have worn numerous times before when once were your favorite items. It’s just not fair.

Why is it though? Why is it so typical when you want to shop, there is nothing. Is it just a bad day? Styles that don’t mesh well? The Fashion Gods playing a nasty trick on you? Whatever the case is it’s annoying and now every time I go shopping i have to pretend that i don’t want to shop, so that i actually hopefully do find something and have a successful shopping trip.