Keg Stand

So thanks to my dad I have a bit of a reputation. Chugging reputation that is. There is something about my dad, where he can just open his gullet, and let all the beer pour down within seconds. So thanks to him, I have inherited the same gene Don’t get me wrong, I’m not upset about this talent of mine, it is quite the party trick I tell ya.

T-shirt courtesy of Crooked Monkey

So of course my chugging abilities got a bit to my head, so the first time I saw this thing called a ‘Keg Stand’, i thought my name was written all over it. A Keg Stand? You mean you drink the beer upside down? Oh this is awesome, let me have a go! First mistake girls, don’t do a Keg Stand if you are wearing a dress or skirt. It’s not pretty or hot, it just looks sloppy.

I had passed the first rule. Am I wearing pants? Check. Am I thirsty? Check. Am I somewhat flexible enough to hold myself upside down for a while? Check….I guess. And I was off. Before I could even show interest of this Keg Stand, I had people who I had no idea who they were grab hold of my feet and tip me upside down. Someone found the nosel to my mouth…and the counting began. 1….2….3….4….5….The higher the numbers went, the more motivated and determined you are to go higher! You are more concentrated on the numbers than what actually is happening.

Then it hits you. You are filled up with more fizz then you could ever imagine. You all of a sudden realize you can’t get anything more down you while upside down so you try to say that you are done but you have your mouth filled with beer so all you are capable of doing is kicking your feet for them to let you down.

So what’s the point of a keg stand? Don’t ask me…