Happy New Year! God Still Hates the Toon.
January 1, 2006 by admin
Filed under Uncategorized
First, He teases us by allowing us to bring in Michael Owen, a proven goal-scorer who actually – wait for it – scores in a black and white shirt. And we win whenever the boy plays, practically. So we start to creep up the table, and hope returns to the ever-pessimistic Toon Army. “Perhaps,” we think, “the UEFA Cup isn’t an outrageous hope. Hell, maybe Souey will even make it through the season.”
“Ha,” thinks the Lord, as he lets Liverpool walk all over us, and then has us bow pathetically to Tottenham. “Ha-ha,” He mocks, as He cruelly smashes Owen’s foot, ruling him out for up to three months and possibly threatening his World Cup place. And, suddenly, the optimism is gone. We all know we’re headed for a relegation battle, and Souey’ll be lucky to see out the month in charge.
Welcome to 2006. It’s just like every other damn year.
Newcastle is just getting killed with injuries right now: Owen, a knee injury to Scott Parker, and now Ameobi out with a hip problem. And what happened to Shay Given? I’d read that he might have broken his thumb on Saturday, but he played on Monday, so obviously not. Unless he’s tougher than I thought.