If I was attending the upcoming WWDC and Apple does reveal new iPhone functionality or a model (as rumored by so many websites online), I’d sarcastically scream the following phrases at the top of my lungs.

iPhone and iPhone 3G, courtesy of Wikipedia

• “Oh my God!!! It can now capture video??!?!? Fantastic!!!!!”
• “People can now copy and paste text from one app to another??!?! Amazing!!!!!”
• “Wow, people can now get an iPhone for less than $100?!?!??! Why, how generous of Apple!!!!!”
• “What, I can now send pictures, music and videos as text messages?!?!? Unbelievable!!!!!!”

So what new features will Apple introduce with the latest iPhone, presenting them as revolutionary to the Jobsian masses? What new arguments will Apple users employ to insist on their superiority? This and more to be revealed this coming WWDC!

Engadget recently speculated that WSJ tech emeritus Walt Mossberg was actually playing around with the long-rumored new iPhone, giving out subtle hints while honoring a supposed press embargo.

Walt Mossberg (Courtesy All Things Digital)

Unfortunately for Palm, Apple has both a new iPhone operating system and new iPhone hardware coming, likely available within a month, that could obviate many of these advantages.

Apple already has announced it’s adding MMS, universal search, and copy and paste. And, although Apple hasn’t announced any new hardware features, I expect to see an iPhone with up to 32 gigabytes of memory, video recording, a higher-resolution camera, a compass, and greater operating speed. Plus, there are persistent rumors that Apple will announce at least one iPhone at a drastically lower price than $199. [emphasis mine]

Weren’t MMS and copy & paste functionality available on even basic GSM phones way before the “Apple will release a phone!” grapevine existed? And guess what had universal search as early as the mid-90s? Why, Palm PDAs of course!

To be clear, Walt was just reporting on Apple’s publicized future plans. I’m more amused by the realization that it took for Apple this long to integrate what’s been around for years into its phone.

See what happens when your application certification process is faulty? When the protests end and you give in, you become the butt of jokes, and of this pretend video ad by IGN.

Screenshot of the Baby Shaker App

The video basically features the iPhone BAC Reader, Dial 911, and the infamous Baby Shaker app, showing how they’re perfect for that “romantic” date. And because some of you may be too lazy to click through the video link in the first paragraph, and I have nothing better to do, here’s the complete copy:

Say you’re at a party, and you need to find out if the chick you want to rail is drunk enough. Well… there’s an app for that.

Or you’re worried the next morning coz the chick you railed is no longer breathing. There’s an app for that.

Or, nine months later, you have a little mistake that needs to be fixed. There’s an app for that too.

Yup, there’s an app for just about anything. Only on the iPhone

Me: I just wish Nokia started applying the UI effects of Apple, so that Symbian interface loading times [equal to the iPhone OS' in my opinion] are better disguised.

Image from Tom's Guide

Also I hope Nokia won’t do an Apple and try to control the app market for Symbian. It’s kind of retarded that people are lauding the iPhone-iTunes store when smart phone [not smartphone mind you] of Nokia and SE have been getting apps for free, but also paying for premium ones like CorePlayer and the like.

What I hate about it is the fact that it’s considered revolutionary (only in America however). Yes I hate the iPhone, it’s being praised for shit that was done before and with better ethics to the consumer. And history will have it as some kind of device that’s so fuckin’ superior despite being 2 years behind in technology.

When I read some person saying that $600 for an iPhone is justified because it’s the most advanced hardware for phones out there, I die a little inside. It’s inferior to my phone already, it’s inferior to a large majority of N Series phones, and it’s just eye candy for crying out loud.

Mr. X is a Sony Ericsson user. Questions, reactions, violent objections and counter-rants are welcome in the comments below.

There really is something wrong with the Apple App Store certification process. While you read about designers complaining about their apparently legitimate apps getting rejected, you also read about Apple having to take down a game because it outraged organizations throughout the country.

The game in question, “Baby Shaker”—which is definitely outrageous—isn’t even revolutionary nor interesting. What’s so engaging about shaking a virtual baby until it stops crying? What’s so visually-catching about line-art drawings of a baby, when the game’s developer Sikalosoft simply puts red X’s over the virtual babe’s eyes to represent death?

Now, why would Apple allow this kind of game to show on the App Store? Had Sikalosoft found a way to trick the certifiers at Apple? Or was someone within the App Store team basically running on automatic, deciding that the game met all of Apple’s criteria for certification, without realizing what kind commotion a shaken baby would cause.

If you really want to jump on the iPhone-to-riches bandwagon (and, despite my partially anti-Apple stance on this site, I won’t blame you), here’s a $0.99 that could conceivably bring you lots of money. How to Make Your iPhone App is a virtual textbook for the iPhone platform. It features 70 virtual pages worth of information, all geared towards helping you build your first iPhone app.

At least, that’s how the official seller line goes. The best part is, at barely below the dollar, those who want to tread the iPhone development waters can do so with less financial pain. They’ll still be able to pay for the coffee they’ll need to stay awake while figuring things out.

Another great thing: any iPhone Apps for Dummies book that comes out in the future will have to be really awesome to compete with How to Make Your First iPhone App’s low low price.

(image is screenshot of said app)

Yippee kay yay if you’ve dreamed of owning an iPhone without committing to a two-year AT&T contract! Seems that by March 26, the service provider will start offering Apple’s smartphone with no strings attached for at least $600.

$600 is a lot of money, and I’m not even sure if that price gets you full iPhone functionality. For instance, will Visual Voicemail run on other networks? To be sure, unsubsidized iPhones aren’t really new. The French and Germans required that their local counterparts also be available without any sort of lock-in.

Is the relatively high price worth it? Gearfuse implies that unsubsidized units free the user from the jailbreaking game, definitely a benefit worth considering. But I imagine bypassing Apple’s and AT&T’s restrictions will remain in vogue, so long as really good apps only work on jailbroken units.

(image and source: BGR)

I still don’t get it. The iPhone’s industrial design may be awesome, its marketing is second-to-none, and not even Nokia’s 5800 threatens Apple’s intuitive touch interface.

So why are lots of people going gaga over a phone that can’t tether to a laptop out of the box, and requires an ingeniously-designed accessory to gain a stand-alone microphone? The $13 Mini Capsule Microphone plugs into the phone’s 3.5mm audio jack. At least Apple never tried to make its earphone jacks proprietary.

(Image from source)

Well duh. That makes sense, like Steve Ballmer banning Google and iPods for his kids. Then again, Gates and Ballmer could be missing out on crucial market research opportunities.

No doubt, Apple considered jailbreaking an iPhone verbotten, given how the process compromises the manufacturer’s vision of mobile app and connectivity and financial utopia. But recently, in response to an EFF request to grant a DMCA exemption to jailbreaking, Apple has finally stated for the record that jailbreaking is illegal, since it violates the copyright of its iPhone OS software. The company even went so far as to argue that none of the restrictions it places on the iPhone need removal to foster innovation, implying that its gadget is fine the way it is (yeah, right). Read more