The Gadget Blog » Virtual Hilarity

A Totally Effective Porn Blocker

Rico Mossesgeld — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:58:40 +0000

It seems the minds behind The Tonight Show hosted by Conan O’Brien have struck a gold mine. Looks like they’ve come up with the perfect porn blocker. Watch the mock ad below.

Looks good on paper. Someone put up a company to create this! Whoever decides to turn the Parent Porn Blocker will likely have an uphill battle though. Not only will they have to deal with the numerous workarounds sure to pop up once the product hits the market. I can imagine the makers coming under fire for turning innocent children into Oedipuses (Oedipii?).

Other than automatically replacing the heads of porn actors with the faces of the viewer’s parents, what other effective ways are there to keep children from watching porn?

Source

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Defense of the Ancients in the Flood

Rico Mossesgeld — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:30:59 +0000

I think pictures of gamers in the flood are becoming viral in the Philippines, where I’m currently based. First you’ve got someone playing Left 4 Dead:

And a bunch of people playing Defense of the Ancients:

Obvious fakes? Well, here’s what I think: the flooding levels in both pictures are high enough that wall sockets would be submerged. Even if somehow the gamers are drawing power from a wall socket located higher than usual, other sockets exposed to water would necessitate shutting down power—to prevent any overloads.

Here’s more definitive “proof”: look at how still the water is. No one playing on a computer would keep so still so as to not cause any waves in the water.

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Got What it Takes to be a Web Designer?

Rico Mossesgeld — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:37:20 +0000

Online stereotypes as old as anyone can remember: web designers hate IE with a passion (with good reason), have to use Macs, and use bootleg copies of software if they can’t afford it (not to mention torrents usually equating to pirated software). I’m hoping the underpaid work cliche dies soon though!

Thanks to Andry for sending this in!

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Classic: “Gates Made Ctrl+Alt+Del Famous”

Rico Mossesgeld — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:30:18 +0000

The quality betrays the following video’s age, but dissing Microsoft for coming out with unreliable OSes is a timeless practice. Here’s how David Bradely, inventor of Ctrl+Alt+Del, gave Bill Gates the rhetorical smackdown, during the 20th anniversary celebration of the IBM PC:

I honestly wonder what was going through Gates’ head, after Bradely joked that the Microsoft founder was responsible for making the key combination famous (implying of course, the numerous crashes that necessitated Ctrl+Alt+Del)? Was he the socially awkward geek unable to produce a witty comeback? So like yours truly, except for the billions of dollars in net worth of course! All I know is that “we are not amused” would have been really fitting.

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Employee Moans About Crackberry Connectivity, IT Director Retaliates

Rico Mossesgeld — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:17:01 +0000

Poor Mikey! First he blogs about his company furnishing a Blackberry to his department’s managers—a distinction that amazingly includes him:

Courtesy Wikipedia

you do NOT understand the ramifications of being issued a BlackBerry. Among other things, if you have one, your boss can Email, IM, call or SMS you 24/7 and expect you to reply. This wasn’t the case for me prior to being issued one as I always had the “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to call you back. My phone went dead” excuse and the “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to email you back, my DSL got cut today. You see, I was thrown in jail last night for drunk driving–whether or not I’m guilty is for the court to decide–and I used the money I’m supposed to pay my monthly DSL subscription with to post bail.” excuse.

Uh yeah, that’s Mikey for you, always sharing too much information without leaving out the occasional profanity or embarrassing self-deprecating revelation. In any case, the IT director of his company got wind of his sentiments and probably tattle-taled to the CEO, sharing a link to Mikey’s blog post through this email:

Can we please ensure we assign Mikey a primary and secondary BlackBerry? Did we already assign him a notebook with WWAN access? If not, let’s make sure gets one. Did we provide him with DSL access as well? Let’s make sure we have 24[-hour] access on this one.

Poor poor Mikey! Anyways, can I have your second Blackberry?

Crackberry: The irresistable force paradox

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Teacher Detains Student for Using “foxfire.exe”

Rico Mossesgeld — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 11:30:22 +0000

Mix poor memory and a lack of tech-savvy, and you’ve got a teacher disciplining a high school student for launching “foxfire.com”. Not sure if this is real or a hoax, but here are some details:

The incident report narrates how the teacher apparently asked the class to do some work through an internet browser, only to catch a student starting a program called foxfire.exe. Said teacher meted out two warnings, but the student continued using foxfire, insisting that it was a better browser. The teacher, probably having no idea what Mozilla Firefox was and tired of challenges to his authority, handed the student two hours worth of detention.

I’m thinking that, if this were real, Mozilla should use the incident as a marketing tool. The new kind of brand evangelism apparently involves exposing the stupidity of authority figures, while taking the heat for your belief in a product or service.

The high school in question? Big Spring High School, according to the image currently making the internet rounds (above). The names of the teacher, student, and parents were redacted. All I know is that I wouldn’t want my child to be studying under such a reportedly clueless teacher!

Source

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Don’t Know the Net? This is For You

Rico Mossesgeld — Mon, 18 May 2009 08:19:24 +0000

Sure, the video below says surfing for seniors, but this unconsciously hilarious video is actually a great learning tool for that rare friend or family member who has absolutely no idea what the internet is about—much less use it:

The hilarious text starts off thus:

Welcome to Surfing for Seniors: An Introduction to the Internet

If you’re not comfortable with your computer, you may need to play this tape and practice many times.

The mouse is made to fit in the palm of your hard. Rest your hand on the rounded top, and push. You will see how the pointer on your screen moves around. It works similar to the game you find in fairs, supermarkets, deparment stores, where all of the toys are inside the glass case. You have to manuever the claw to pick up the toy inside the case. Since you cannot reach your hand inside the case, you must use the tool, by manuevering the lever.

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Hey Jude: A Game for Really Bored People

Rico Mossesgeld — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 16:00:30 +0000

Feeling pretty bored but too lazy to unglue yourself from the computer? Then load your favorite media player and set it to random mode! Start playing any song. Now all you have to do is answer a bunch of questions (received from a friend) by pressing next on your media player. The results can be really hilarious, totally weird, or in my case, strangely accurate. A sample of this game in action is available for those who continue reading.

I’m pretty sure this game can work on other social networks. Here’s what I posted on my Facebook account (yes, the answers below are true, unfortunately):

INSTRUCTIONS:
- Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
- For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
- YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS. DON’T LIE.
- Tag 10 friends (make me #11 so I can see your results). or however many you want…
- Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
- Have fun!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?
Wayne Wonder – Hold Me Now

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Sara Bareilles – Love Song

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Bone Thugs – Bump in the Trunk

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
No Place Like London (Sweeney Todd OST)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Dean Martin – Sway

6. WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
Fatboy Slim – Praise You

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Mick Jagger & Dave Stewart – Old Habits Die Hard

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Stone Temple Pilots – Big Empty

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Corinne Bailey Rae – Like a Star

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Wyclef Jean – Guantanamera

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Belazamusica – Inside Out

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Mary J. Blige – Just Fine

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Plan B – No Good (Chase & Status and Benni G Remix)

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Estelle – You Are

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Peaches and Herb – Reunited

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Vitamin String Quartet – Maybe Someday

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Backstreet Boys – Just to be Close to You

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Jamiroquai – Everyday

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Johanna (Sweeney Todd OST)

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Sade – By Your Side

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Linkin Park – In Between

22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Joe Anderson – Hey Jude (Across the Universe OST)

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Robocop in 10 Minutes. In Rap!

Rico Mossesgeld — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 14:30:46 +0000

So much better than your basic 10-minute edits!

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Black Friday Sales Performance Key to American Economic Future?

Rico Mossesgeld — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 16:00:36 +0000

Over drinks yesterday, my friend shared an insight. Thanks to my hangover, I’ll have to paraphrase everything:

Him: “Would you know how well retailers did during Black Friday?”

Me: “Not yet, I think it’s too early to tell. I’m sure a report will come out soon.”

Him: “Well, all I’m saying is that if people don’t buy this year, even with the low prices, things must be really bad.”

Me: “From what I’ve seen, things look good. Did you read about that Wal-Mart temp employee killed in a buyer stampede?”

Him: “Oh yeah… so there were lots of buyers right?”

Me: “Well if that case is any indicator, yes. You need lots of people to trample someone to death.”

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