The UFC has teamed up with Maxim Magazine in search of a fourth Octagon girl. Starting tomorrow, auditions will be held in Phoenix, San Diego, Los Angeles, Miami, and Las Vegas. And when I say ‘auditions’, I actually mean club events where you show what your momma gave you on stage. Unless you happen to be a man, in which case I recommend just going to watch.

UFC Ring Girl Edith LaBelle - Image: Zuma Press

Those selected at these events will then be brought to the UFC Fan Expo where a group of fighters and fans will judge them and a live vote will take place. The winner gets an Octagon girl contract and will also be plastered all over an upcoming Maxim magazine spread.

You may have noticed the UFC already has three Octagon girls: Arianny Celeste and Edith LaBelle were joined by Logan Stanton a few months back. There’s no word yet on how a fourth girl will fit into the picture … how many girls do you really need to carry around 3 rounds worth of cards? I think it would be pretty cool if they started rotating girls between different shows so it’s not always the same ones. America needs new jobs, so it’d be a patriotic act for the UFC to hire on more hotties!

Here’s the dates for the preliminary club events:

Phoenix, AZ - Saturday, July 4th - 11pm
Afterlife Nightclub - 4282 N Drinkwater Rd, Scottsdale, AZ

San Diego, CA - Sunday, July 5th - 2pm
IVY Hotel Pool - 600 F Street, San Diego, CA

Los Angeles & OC, CA - Sunday, July 5th - 5pm
XIV Restaurant Terrace Deck - 8117 Sunset Blvd, Hollywood, CA

Miami, FL - Wednesday, July 8th - 10pm
Mansion Nightclub - 1235 Washington Ave, Miami, FL

Las Vegas, NV - Friday, July 10th - 1pm
Tao Beach - inside the Venetian Hotel 3355 Las Vegas Blvd., NV

And don’t forget to check out this page for more contest info. Those who can’t make it can feel free to send me as many hot pictures of themselves as they’d like. It won’t really help in any way, but it would make me happy.

We’re now up to month number seven of 2009 but the UFC is working hard to fill up their calendar until 2010, locking down a number of big fights for the end of the year. Tops is the battle of Ultimate Fighter 10 coaches Rashad Evans and Quinton Jackson, who will clash at UFC 107 in Memphis on December 12th. I’m extra hyped for this because my parents live in Tennessee too so I can use them as an excuse to see the UFC. Or is that supposed to be the other way around? Sorry mom.

Quinton Jackson - Image: Zuma Press

Working backwards, UFC 105 on November 14th is in the UK and expected to feature Michael Bisping vs Anderson Silva if Bisping gets past Dan Henderson. No word yet on what the plan is when that doesn’t happen…. UFC 104 the day before Halloween has Lyoto Machida versus Mauricio ‘Shogun’ Rua, but the real match to watch on that one is the one that was just leaked yesterday: Shane Carwin versus Cain Velasquez. These guys are the future of the heavyweight division and it looks like the UFC is putting them in an eliminator to see who’s ready for a title run.

Those Chuck Liddell rumors I mentioned last week are still floating around, and there are enough headliner gaps in the UFC’s future to slot him into UFC 103 on September 19th or UFC 106 in Vegas on November 21st. Whatever ends up happening, you can pretty much guarantee that the rest of the year is going to be a very good one to be an MMA fan. Here’s the schedule:

UFC 101: August 8th in Philly with BJ Penn vs Kenny Florian
UFC 102: August 29th in Portland with Randy Couture vs Big Nog
UFC Fight Night 19: September 16th with Roger Huerta vs Gray Maynard
UFC 103: September 19th in Dallas
UFC 104: October 24th in Los Angeles with Lyoto Machida vs Shogun Rua
Ultimate Fighter 10 Finale: December 5th with Kimbo Slice
UFC 105: November 14th in Manchester UK
UFC 106: November 21st in Vegas
UFC 107: December 12th in Memphis with Quinton Jackson vs Rashad Evans

Tito Ortiz is once again claiming he’s close to returning to the cage. After flirting with Affliction and EliteXC for several months while contractual hold-ups with the UFC and back surgery kept him on the sidelines, he is now claiming that Strikeforce is looking like his new home … sorta.

Tito Ortiz - Image: Zuma Press

According to Tito Ortiz, he will be starting a new promotion with Strikeforce called Punishment Fighting Championships, which Tito will both manage and compete in. I have no idea how the hell that’s supposed to work, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the ‘new promotion’ is just a differently branded Strikeforce event which Tito gets a cut of the profits from. And that’s if the whole thing ends up happening at all - Tito has been known to talk out his ass on numerous occasions regarding unfinished business deals. Didn’t he learn anything from his time on Celebrity Apprentice?

As for the possibility of returning to the UFC, Tito has said it will never happen so long as Dana White is president of the UFC. I could write a novel about the bad blood between them, but suffice to say they’re not fans of each other. It is worth noting however that quite a few informed people are still betting on the Huntington Beach Bad Boy returning to the UFC in the end. Something to do with money talking and something else walking?

The good (or bad, depending on your opinion of Tito) news is that all signs point towards Tito returning to the cage by the end of the year. As unintentionally entertaining as he can be outside the cage, I’d rather see him fighting than talking any day.

Bob Sapp didn’t manage to get a single offensive move off against former WWE wrestler Bobby Lashley at last night’s “Ultimate Chaos” event in Mississippi. Repeating a similar strategy from earlier fights, Lashley immediately shot in and took Sapp down. For the next three minutes Lashley attempted to ground and pound his opponent out, finally getting a tap at 3:17 of the first round.

Bobby Lashley - Image: Zuma Press

Bob Sapp came into this fight at a relatively svelte 322 pounds - a big drop from his typical 375 pounds. Here I was hoping that this meant he was finally starting to take his training seriously but the story he told before the fight revolved around the embarrassment of sitting on a toilet and breaking it rather than any desire to seriously compete in mixed martial arts.

As for Bobby Lashley, Sapp is a nice recognizable name on his record … much better than the second biggest name, Jason Guida. Guida is the older brother of UFC fighter Clay Guida and is best known for his appearance on the Ultimate Fighter where he cramped up trying to cut weight and exposed his junk to the world while rolling around the floor in agony.

Speaking of TUF, earlier this year Lashley was considering breaking into the UFC via TUF but his management has decided to take it slow and let Lashley develop - a good idea in my opinion considering Lashley is still looking pretty one dimensional at the moment. I don’t expect him to be finishing guys with flying elbows off the top rope or anything, but thus far we haven’t seen much from the young prospect past some okay wrestling and not so okay ground and pound. Still, with his record standing at 4-0, he’s gotten off to a good start.

In other Ultimate Chaos results, Gilbert Yvel knocked Pedro Rizzo out in brutal fashion 2:10 into the first round, Chris Horodecki defeated William Sriyapai via rear naked choke at 4:02 of round 1, and Affliction promoter Tom “T-Shirt Guy” Atencio came back from some serious blows in the first round of his fight against Randy Hedderick to win in the second. Well, in between the second and third … Atencio beat on Hedderick in the second that the fighter refused to answer the third round bell. Din Thomas was also originally supposed to fight on the card, but missed weight by half a pound and before he realized it wasn’t okay had already started to rehydrate himself. Oops.

It looks like Quinton Jackson may be returning to court, according to a report on TMZ.com. A civil suit has been brought against him by the women who’s vehicle he hit in an incident over the summer. The interesting case, dubbed Rampage’s Rampage by mixed martial arts fans, saw a delusional Jackson lead police on a high speed chase across town in a custom built monster truck. He would later be checked into a mental health facility, where he tested negative for drugs and alcohol and was diagnosed as having suffered a psychotic break.

Quinton Jackson - Image: Zuma Press

Because of this, Rampage avoided jail time. But now a woman who’s vehicle was hit by the former UFC light heavyweight champion is taking him to court over a miscarriage she suffered a week after the accident. She was 16 weeks pregnant at the time. The district attorney cleared Rampage of criminal wrongdoing but this will be a civil trial … you know, the same kind of case that found OJ Simpson guilty after his criminal trial found him innocent. So there’s a lower burden of proof.

The 38 year old woman, Holli Griggs, is suing for $25,000 for personal injury, emotional distress, and property damage. No word yet on if Rampage will settle out of court or not. As for if he is guilty or not, here’s my assessment: Griggs was pretty old as far as pregnant women goes but it’s hard to imagine getting sideswiped by a monster truck helps a pregnancy along.

People trying to make Griggs out as a greedy ambulance chaser ignore the fact that she was minding her own damn business when Jackson hit her with his truck. Considering $25,000 is the kind of money he spends on pimping out one of his many rides, I think he should suck it up and pay the woman. You can see pictures of the damage done to the woman’s vehicle right here. So what do you think?

After Chuck Liddell lost to Mauricio Shogun Rua at UFC 97, UFC president Dana White declared that the Iceman was done and would be retiring from the sport. Chuck sounded a lot less certain, and for a few weeks there was a war of words between White and Chuck’s trainer John Hackleman over who’s decision it was for Liddell to stop. Chuck, being Chuck and not being much of a talker, stayed out of it for the most part, simply saying he’d take some time to mull it over and make a decision on his own ’soon.’

Chuck Liddell - Image: Zuma Press

While we haven’t had any official word yet, all signs are now pointing towards Chuck having made a decision to keep fighting. On Saturday Night at the Ultimate Fighter Finale, Dana White went on an Inside the Octagon segment and re-iterated his desire not to see his close friend fight again but added “I’m not his father, he can do whatever the hell he wants to do.”

That might not seem like much, but keep in mind this was a prepared statement directly from the UFC made on national television. There was no reason for Dana White to bring the topic back up except to backtrack on the issue and open the door for Chuck’s return.

Now just a few days afterwards, there are unconfirmed reports coming out that the UFC is looking for Chuck’s next opponent, with Rich Franklin being named as a possibility. Again, I want to stress that none of this has been officially or even semi-officially confirmed but you know the saying: where there’s smoke there’s fire and right now I’m seeing a ton of smoke.

The Ultimate Fighter 9 Finale wasn’t the only MMA event on over the weekend. Strikeforce, a California promotion that has recently grown to a national scale with Showtime and NBC TV deals, had an event on Friday night as well. In addition to some great fights, the promotion officially announced the first female superfight in the history of mixed martial arts: Gina Carano versus Cris Cyborg on August 15th.

Gina Carano - Image: Zuma Press

Dubbed ‘Beauty and the Beast’ by some of the less politically correct press, the fight will be for the newly created Strikeforce 145 pound championship and is five 5-minute rounds. This is a pretty big deal since until recently most women’s matches have been 3-minute rounds. Why? Because women are clearly inferior. Please note that this statement is drowning in pissed off sarcasm … there’s very few things I hate more than the bias and sexism that sometimes pervades the mixed martial arts world.

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock or are just getting into this MMA thing, you’ve probably already heard of Gina Carano. She’s a kickboxing beauty that actually lives up to the majority of her hype. She may not be the best female fighter in the world, but she’s one of the best and by far the most popular - imagine Chuck Liddell but with a great personality. Sorry Chuck, but you’re pretty wooden.

Cris Cyborg is like a female Wanderlei Silva, and she’s got the aggression to match. There is no woman out there right now as physically intimidating as her. She’s got muscles on her muscles and uses them to smash her opponents’ faces in. She is by far the most dangerous opponent Gina has ever faced, which is why this fight is so exciting. Add in the fact that both fighters are known for their exciting style and the media attention that follows Gina everywhere, and this fight could very well cause women’s MMA to explode.

Diego Sanchez and Clay Guida stole the show at the Ultimate Fighter 9 Finale last night - not an easy feat considering the other amazing bouts on the card. In the first round Diego was absolutely slaughtering Guida, boxing him up against the cage and landing a direct kick to Guida’s face that no doubt knocked the taste out of his mouth. It was a miracle that Guida managed to survive the first round, but he did one better by coming back in the second to take Sanchez down and punish him on the ground.

Diego Sanchez - Image: Zuma Press

It was in that second round that Diego used over a dozen brutal elbows from his back to cut holes into Guida’s scalp, turning the next two rounds into a bloody mess. Both could have gone either way on the judge’s scorecard, but in the end it was Diego Sanchez who was awarded the split decision.

In other fights, Joe Stevenson (an EveryJoe favorite for obvious reasons) proved he’s not a has-been by out-wrestling Cesar Gracie disciple Nate Diaz on the ground, winning the first two rounds with a number of nifty reversals and rolls. At one point Joe Daddy caught the young Diaz in a crucifix, trapping both his limbs and hammering on his face. Nate spent the time trying to get something going off his back but only had success in the third round when the fight stayed on the feet.

While there’s no doubt Nate Diaz is a talented prospect, I think it’s time the UFC sent him back to the prelims for more seasoning. It sucks to say that because he’s always a pleasure to watch fight, but better that than have him lose again and wash out of the UFC like another talented prospect who was pushed too hard too early: his brother Nick Diaz.

As for the actual Ultimate Fighter finals, UK welterweight James Wilks seemed like a different man as he drubbed Team USA’s DaMarques Johnson on the feet and ground before sinking in a choke in the dying seconds of the first round. Johnson seemed as shocked as I was with Wilks’ transformation and spent the entire fight trying to survive the onslaught. While I’m going to wait and see if Wilks can repeat this kind of performance against a UFC vet before writing his name on all my school binders in sparkle marker, there’s no doubt this victory will make him an instant star in England.

UK fighter Ross Pearson was less impressive as he defeated Andre Winner via decision in a slow and methodical three round battle. Both fighters spent a lot of time stalemating each other in the clinch, but Pearson won the fight with crisper striking. If you’ve tivo’d this event and take a more selective approach to which fights you want, I’d say you won’t miss much by skipping this one over.

Last but not least, Kevin Burns attempted to pass gatekeeper Chris Lytle but got smacked back down. While Burns started strong and nearly knocked Lytle out (something no one has ever managed to do), he gassed halfway through the second round and spent the rest of the fight eating decent but not conscious-threatening combinations from Lytle. Burns also accidentally kicked Lytle in the junk three times, making hm one of the most unintentionally dirty fighters in the UFC. This fight went to the scorecards where Lytle was declared the winner, two rounds to one.

Overall this was a solid event, although it felt like the three hour show had about an hour’s worth of commercials.

As Kimbo Slice attempts to rekindle his guttered career on the Ultimate Fighter, he’ll have to do it without the support of his former coach and all around crazy person Bas Rutten. Back when Slice was the untested star of the EliteXC promotion, Bas was one of the few legitimate and respected mixed martial artists who were talking him up, calling him a talented newcomer who’d do big things if he kept working hard.

Bas Rutten

Unfortunately, Bas Rutten claims that around the time of the Ken Shamrock fight, Kimbo stopped listening to him and actually started to get worse. Here’s what he told Fighters Only magazine about the situation and why he will never train Kimbo again:

“I misjudged him, he turned into a whole different person. I told him a few weeks ago, I had a sit down with him. I told him that he was an asshole and that I have zero respect (for him] and I cant train people that I have no respect for. Can’t ever,” Rutten told Fighters Only in a recent interview.

“He just turned into a different guy, he didn’t need to do the things that I told him to do. He wasn’t going to go to the ground, you know? The day before the [Petruzelli] fight, I told him I wanted to go over heel hooks and escapes, and he said “Nah, its not going to go to the ground”.

I said ‘Ha, I like that attitude - but what if it does go to the ground?’ but he said ‘Its not going to go’. So I said OK, but don’t let me tell you ‘I told you so’ if he snaps your fuckin’ leg in half. He said ‘I don’t know if that’s a good thing for you to be telling me mentally, before a fight’! I said ‘I don’t think its a good thing for you not to be doing what I tell you, before the fight”!

Bas Rutten is not someone you want to disagree with. A pioneer of the sport who used to fight in Japan alongside Ken Shamrock in the early 90’s, he became an internet celebrity due to his amusingly violent bar fighting instructional dvds, and was featured in the video game Grand Theft Auto 4. While he’s one of the most entertaining jokers in the industry, his training chops are solid and Kimbo Slice has an even tougher hill to climb now that Bas has excommunicated him from his circle.

From the way Dana White and Mirko Crocop were selling his fight with Mostafa Al-Turk at UFC 99 this past weekend, you might have thought it was the beginning of another UFC run for the famous Croatian striker. But instead, fans who anticipated a steady stream of great battles against foes like Randy Couture and Antonio Minotauro Nogueira will have to settle for whatever Japan can scrounge up, because Mirko Crocop will not be fighting for the UFC again any time soon.

Mirko Crocop visits a children's hospital with Jean Claude Van Damme - Image: Zuma Press

The reason why is slightly complicated. There are two sides to every story: Dana White’s involves a long angry slew of swear words, and Mirko’s involves contractual minutia. But the long story short version goes like this: Dana claims Mirko Crocop agreed verbally to a three fight deal if he won his fight this past weekend. Mirko claims the deal he was offered had the 36 year old fighting once every six months and had no clause for a title shot even if he won all his fights.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of small things on both sides that change to story one way or another but here’s the solid results: Dana White is extremely pissed off with Mirko and Mirko will be returning to a Japanese ring as soon as July 20th. That’s if Dana doesn’t decide to try and sue the checkered tights off him first.

There’s a saying that verbal agreements aren’t worth the paper they’re written on, but there are actually quite a few laws regarding oral agreements. Because Crocop is basically contesting the terms of the deal and not just turning it down outright, I doubt the UFC would win any lawsuit they launched. But as we saw in the case of Randy Couture, sometimes the UFC wins just by making escape a gigantic expensive legal pain in the ass.