Google Is A Single Girl’s Best Friend – Part 2

Jason Bean — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 13:00:00 +0000

This post is Part 2 of a guest post written by Amy Halleran, who I met online awhile back through twitter. I asked who might be interested in writing a little guest post and she was one of the first to respond and provide me her article. I think you’ll enjoy it. Let us know what you think in the comments. Perhaps we can convince Amy to write again for us in the future. If you missed Part 1 of Amy’s post, you can catch-up here.

I am all for Googling a date, as long as two basic protocols are observed:

#1 Google for the highlights, not the details.

See a LinkedIn reference. Scan the top page. Is he an accountant, a musician or a nanny? There is no need to look up the company in Standard & Poor to see financial statements. However it will confirm the truth you may already know about his job and/or help you think of some great conversation starters.
Blogs are a great place to really get the 411. But there is a dark side to this. Reading through several years or even months of blog posts can take away a bit of the dating magic. Part of the fun of dating is discovering each other. Peeling back the layers to get to know and understand the person underneath the public persona. If you read it all, not only is it a bit stalkerish, but you take away from the mystery and joy of dating. If, and only if, they tell you about their blog and encourage you to read it, should you give it a second glance. But be forewarned… Reading someone’s personal online diary creates a sense of false intimacy. This can potentially change your behavior around that person and disrupt the natural flow.

#2 Be honest about it, but don’t over-share.

First, don’t lie about it if they ask. It’s a known fact for anyone who puts their information out on the web that it is a permanent public record. If they don’t want anyone to know anything about them, there won’t be anything to find.
Second, acknowledging it is not a reason to over-share. If you followed the guidelines above you should be ok. But just remember how weird it will look if you talk about it in detail on the date. Oops! Do we need to reroll that footage from The Bachelor when one of the girls spilled out the details on him AND his entire family because she had been stalking him on Facebook? Yes, she actually used the word ‘stalker’ herself.

This is my bottom line, I Google to screen people. I’m looking for the red flags that would lead me to avoid dating someone. I’m a single mom and feel the need to be cautious about the people I interact with for my children’s sake. Quite frankly, I have uncovered a lot by typing in a name. For instance, the guy who asked me out at church turned out to have a Meet Up profile showing interest in meeting other swingers and investigating the impact of alternative lifestyles on young kids. Mind you, this was someone I was attracted to and felt comfortable with because we had spoke a couple times at church and around town. Had I went out with him, who knows how long it would have taken for him to broach that subject with me. I never returned his phone calls.

For obvious reasons, I think screening a date is a good thing. Realistically, we’ve been doing it for years, this is just a new methodology. Let’s hope you are doing it for the right reasons and use your knowledge sparingly and with respect. Always remember, chances are you were Googled too!

Post from: Uncover the Internet

Google Is A Single Girl’s Best Friend – Part 1

Jason Bean — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 13:00:00 +0000

This post is a guest post written by Amy Halleran, who I met online awhile back through twitter. I asked who might be interested in writing a little guest post and she was one of the first to respond and provide me her article. I think you’ll enjoy it. Let us know what you think in the comments. Perhaps we can convince Amy to write again for us in the future.

Pre Date Screening 1990s:

Lisa phones her best friend Julie (on a land line)

Julie: Hello

Lisa: Guess what?

Julie: I don’t know, what?

Lisa: That guy from the 4th floor asked me out.

Julie: What did you say?

Lisa: Well, I said yes. But I’m a little nervous. I don’t really know anything about him.

Julie: Well he seems like a nice guy from what you’ve said.

Lisa: Yeah I know, but Ted Bundy was a charmer too!

Julie: Ya know I think my friend Brad has a friend that works on the 4th floor. I’ll call him to see if he knows anything about him, then I’ll call you back.

Lisa: OK, thanks!

Pre Date Screening 2000s:

Lisa IM’s her BFF Julie

Lisa: U there?

Julie: yeah, sup?

Lisa: 4th flr guy askd me out

Julie: And?

Lisa: I googled, he’s cool, said yes.

Julie: That Rawks!

Before the dawn of search engines and vast data stores on the world wide web, if a girl wanted to know something about a potential date, the information came from word of mouth. A friend. A friend of a friend. A friend of your step aunt’s, second cousin, twice removed. At that point it was iffy at best if you found out anything at all before dinner.

Now the rules have changed. We are in the age of digital transparency. Privacy is a thinly veiled idea on the interweb. We Press Words, Tweet, Feed Friends, Facebook & Link In our lives as a chronicled proof of our being. Thus creating gushing data streams of personal tidbits ripe for fishing. Please join me in welcoming to the postmodern world of dating, our latest chaperone, Google.

There is an ongoing debate if one should Google a date before dating them. I agree there are pros and cons to this, as with any debate. Single Mom Seeking blogged about it as a negative choice. The NYT, CNN and ABC have all had their own articles written over the last few years.

Be sure and come back to read Part 2, where we find out about the two protocols you should probably observe before Googling that guy from the 4th floor.