No this little bit is actually pretty funny and well written. I tried to do some searches to look for the original author, but didn’t have any confirmed success. If you know who originally wrote this, please let me know, I want to give credit where credit is due.

Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science: (Gv)

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.  The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 – 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. 

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Okay, now that we’ve lightened up your Weekly Wednesday Hump Day, go and be productive in your cubicle!

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The first sound you always need in your arsenal is the sound you use when you somebody does something stupid or silly or makes the wrong choice. You’ll know it as soon as you hear it, and all you need to do is visit www.sadtrombone.com and just press the big, orange "play!" button.

The other website you need in your back pocket is going to be used when someone makes a funny comment or hits the nail on the head. It’s the classic rimshot sound on a drum set. It’s the sound you hear after a well timed and executed joke or witty remark.

Just send your browser over to www.instantrimshot.com and you’ll get what you need. Press the big, red button and you’ve got your sound effect.

Two great sounds. Two great websites dedicated to them. You can’t get much more specific than that!

Uncover www.sadtrombone.com and www.instantrimshot.com and you’re there!

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If you’re not familiar with what happens, you upload a picture of yourself and some friends and embed their images on some dancing, animated characters on the card. They usually dance and sing and it’s all around a good time to be had by all.

When you watch these cards, you can’t help but bring a little smile to yourself because let’s face it. Anything dancing, dressed up in Christmas cheer and a face that looks like you or your friends has got to be funny! If you disagree, well Bah-Humbug to YOU Mr. Scrooge!

One of its latest cards is Christmas With The Stars. Appropriately imitating and spoofing Hollywood icons and legends, this animated card allows you to transform you and your friends into dancing celebrities such as Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and Bob Marley.

Another is the techno-inspired Dancing Christmas Toys. This card is set up in a Santa’s workshop where familiar entertainment figures are showcased and spoofed. The user will get the chance to be Captain Jack Sparrow, Betty Boop, Wonder Woman, Spiderman or Anakin Skywalker after uploading his/her photo.

Last one is the Wild West Christmas. Having the Great Plains as a backdrop, the user can have a lot fun having his/her headshot placed on dancing cowboy or cowgirl to the tune of a very funky music.

How can you go wrong with a line-up like that? So go on! Get moving and start bringing some holiday cheer to your friends! It’s all waiting to be uncovered and delivered at CardFunk.com

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The truu confessions website, currently in beta, lets you share stuff anonymously. If you told somebody you knew, and it was a secret, it probably wouldn’t be a secret for long. Chances are the person you’d share with would know the people you’re talking about, then they’d feel the need to share it someone and eventually it would get back to the original person.

No good usually comes from spreading rumors and gossip (so why do we do it?) but if don’t share details with someone that has any clue of who you’re talking about, it’s all good right?

The truu confessions website lets people share that little secret they need to get rid of and you could fit it into one of the following categories on their site: Single, Bride, Wife, Mom, Body, Office, and Military Wives. Is there an obvious reason why “Husbands” is missing?

So, go feel better, get it off your chest and share it with the world, anonymously on the truu confessions website. After all, nobody really cares anyway do they?

Uncover secrets at truu confessions website

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Now noodling, the sport of catching catfish by sticking your hand and arm into a hole and letting them bite it, is one thing. But noodling for snapping turtles is something completely different. I’ve been fishing and seen a snapping turtle break a broom stick like a twig. You can believe these suckers he’s catching would take a chunk out of whatever they wanted that they could reach.

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I’m really not sure what to say about the HavenWorks.com site. It does literally leave me speechless. It appears that it’s a randomly thrown together collection of links and information on current news events and politics.

The design is the draw, or repellant depending on your viewpoint. It reminds me of a website I featured awhile back because of it’s "design qualities". The HavenWorks.com site is much more text heavy, it’s all just overwhelming.

Would anyone ever really use a site like this as a regular source of information? 

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All you need to do to start to participate on the IGotAnEnvelope.com website is to address and stamp a plain, empty envelope. Leave a note on it, or write on the back and ask the person who finds the envelope to put a little memento into it and drop it in the mail.

Since it’s already stamped and addressed there’s no hassle for the person involved except for deciding what little something to include in the envelope. You could decide to send something simple like a magazine clipping, a funny photo, a concert stub or some other trinket. Or you could get a little more risqué and send something that will keep the recipient really guessing.

Get in on the game and start playing. Remember, it’s as simple as an empty envelope, a stamp and a little bit of ink. Then you can start telling your friends "I Got An Envelope" too.

See what other people have been receiving and sending at IGotAnEnvelope.com website.

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The There, I Fixed It website follows in the footsteps of some of the other great photo sites on the web, many of which we’ve highlighted here on Uncover the Internet. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it doesn’t apply here. The images and situations shared on the There, I Fixed It website are definitely broken, I’m just not sure there anymore fixed than they started. In some instances they could be more broken than they started because now there’s the illusion of it being fixed when it’s not.

There, I Fixed It highlights just what can be done with some duct tape and a Git R Done mentality. Go uncover some good laughs, self-esteem and in some cases maybe some repair tips.

Visit There, I Fixed It and fix what ails you.

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The People of Walmart website pays homage to the sites frequently on display at everyone’s favorite retailer.

There’s just something about the folks that you frequently see in Wal-Marts around this country that set themselves apart from the customers you might find in other establishments like your local Target, Meijer or similar retailer.

Sometimes you just get the feeling you’ve crossed over into a different dimension or perhaps a different planet when you walk through those doors and are greeted to this new world. If it’s a different planet, would we refer to them as Wal-Martians?

If you’re familiar with the I CAN HAS CHEEZ BURGER site and enjoy you’re time there, then think of the People of Walmart site like that, except no animals and no subtitles in the photos. Otherwise this is like a blue-light special on some seriously funny photos.

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