Dear Duggar Family

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Fri, Aug 21 - 9:00 am EDT | 9 months ago by
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Kiraspondence - Dear Duggar Family

Dear Duggar Family:

This isn’t a lecture about how you guys are hypocrites. I know you’ve heard and seen more than enough of those lately with recent revelations about Josh, Ashley Madison accounts and porn addictions.

As a Christian myself, I know that the word “hypocrisy” isn’t really an accurate description for a Christian who engages in sinful pursuits. It’s not being a hypocrite to strive for something better and fail. That’s just…failure. And that’s the whole point of Christ – we are failures and we need strength from places other than ourselves to have better and do better. If we didn’t need Jesus then we wouldn’t need Jesus.

What Josh did and has done is sad and pathetic and super cringe-worthy. He sounds like a real creep. I’m sure no parent wants to hear that about their own child, but I get paid to tell people what I think and I think Josh sounds like a big bag of creeps.

I’m not here to berate your family for being hypocrites.

I was disturbed by the latest story about Josh but what I found more disturbing was what I found out in the process. I heard you’re shopping around a new reality show which is sad in its own right, but that wasn’t the worst part to me. It’s also disturbing that the reality show you’re pitching is for you and your family to counsel survivors of sexual abuse.


I must say, I’ve never been a great fan of your show or your lifestyle but I am a fan of Jesus and a fan of freedom. If you guys choose to serve God in this way and take some money for it on the side, more power to ya! You’ve always seemed like sweet people.

But I don’t think that anymore. I don’t think you’re sweet at all. I think you’re delusional. I think you’ve been seduced by a lifestyle that started out as a blessing for your large family. I truly thought you’d have the wisdom to leave entertainment behind after the whole sexual abuse fiasco with your son. I get it – it wasn’t your fault, your daughters have forgiven him and frankly I do believe it was a nuanced situation that pointed to a run-of-the-mill pervert rather than a child molester. You handled it badly as parents but it’s a tough situation. You certainly reaped the consequences very publicly, which you probably deserved.

I assumed you would do the graceful thing and bow out of the reality TV game when TLC canceled your show. I assumed you learned the lesson that most reality TV personalities learn: the same public that built you up will eventually turn on you, because at some point you can’t control your image once you’ve opened Pandora’s TV box.

“We had a nice run, bought a lot of nice things and traveled a lot. Thanks, TLC! We’re out to live the rest of our lives in peace and some sense of normalcy again.”

That would have been the logical thing. That would have been the honorable thing. That would have been the graceful thing. Instead you’ve proven that you are not just a sweet, Christian family who got the chance to do something unique, influential and lucrative. You’re now cogs in the Hollywood machine that keeps grinding up people and spitting them out. You’re willing accomplices to that. It’s disappointing.

You’ve been so seduced by the fame and the trappings of TV success you don’t even have the decency to simply pay the price and move on with your lives.

In fact, you’ve doubled down.

Amazingly you have become so obsessed with your own fame and fortune you seem to be completely unaware of just how shockingly inappropriate and disgusting it is for you of all people to be counseling abuse victims – on television, no less. You got caught helping to cover up your son’s dangerous and illicit behavior towards your own daughters. Did you even think this through? Has it not occurred to you that some people may think that’s pretty damn creepy?

By the way, if no one has said this to you yet, let me be the first… IT’S PRETTY DAMN CREEPY!

Your daughters and daughter-in-law have suffered great embarrassment and public humiliation. You’ve sold out to the pursuit of celebrity so much that you are willing to capitalize on that humiliation in order to earn more paychecks. It’s sad and disgusting and I know I keep using this word but it’s disappointing. Look at yourselves. Look at what you’ve become.

You’re sellouts and the price is the dignity of people in your own family who never had a choice in all this.

I understand you have a large family and you need to support them, but if you really are followers of God you know He will provide for you when Hollywood won’t. He will honor honorability.

The fact that you don’t have enough intelligence, self-respect or decency to believe that very basic tenant of the Christian faith – God’s unfailing love and provision – tells me that you’re worse than the hypocrites that non-believers always accuse you of being.

You’re sellouts, and that’s really sad.



P.S. You should really find some friends from before your fame that you trust and ask them what they think of your stupid new show idea. Your lack of self-awareness is frightening.


Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images

Kira Davis is a writer, video blogger and homeschool mother of two. She has interviewed President Obama and appeared on Fox News, The BlazeTV and the Dr. Phil Show. Kira is a dog person but she owns a cat anyway. You can find her on Twitter @RealKiraDavis.

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