Dear Glamour Magazine

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Mon, Oct 26 - 4:30 am EDT | 2 years ago by
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    Kiraspondence - Dear Caitlyn Jenner

    Dear Glamour Magazine:

    I heard you’ve named Caitlyn Jenner as your “Woman of the Year.”

    Ummmmm… Are you f*cking kidding me?

    No, seriously. Are you pulling my leg? Is this some kind of Halloween prank? Did I wake up in the Twilight Zone?

    Let’s break this down for a minute.

    I don’t really care what your qualifications for “Woman of the Year” might be. I don’t harbor any expectations of depth from a magazine known for their groundbreaking listicles on how to give your boyfriend the ultimate blow job and how you know your man is cheating. I get it. But there is one universal qualification for any “Woman of the Anything;” one thing that can’t be intelligently disputed or questioned; one thing that is the basic common denominator of literally every single woman on the face of the planet.

    A vagina.

    Surely you must have heard by now that Caitlyn Jenner has a penis. That’s right, Caitlyn Jenner is a man. You’ve nominated a man for your “Woman of the Year.” Now, I don’t want to get into all the manic social justice arguments about gender and identity and sexuality. I already broke down all the reasons I think physically and medically Caitlyn Jenner isn’t a woman in a previous Kiraspondence.

    Sidebar: Never in a million years could I have imagined there would come a day when I would have to write an entire column explaining genitalia and gender to grown adults. Oh, Sexual Revolution of the ‘60s look what ye hath wrought!

    But let’s put all that aside. You may have your arguments for why transgender is the same as an actual gender but they don’t apply in this case. Maybe Caitlyn Jenner now finally feels like a woman for the first time but there’s that one dangling, loose end that disqualifies Caitlyn Jenner from the female gender.

    A penis.

    Even if you want to argue that gender is in the mind and not the chromosomes, Caitlyn Jenner hasn’t even been a woman for that long. I mean, for crying out loud I had to endure 18 years of girlhood and periods and boobs before I earned the title of “woman.” How does a rich, privileged Olympic athlete with an Adam’s apple get to take that title just in five months? Caitlyn Jenner has not even been Caitlyn Jenner long enough for us to know what kind of “woman” he will become. Jenner hasn’t even been living as a woman the amount of time required by law to have sex change surgery.

    By all medical and common sense measures Caitlyn Jenner is not actually female.

    Caitlyn Jenner was Bruce Jenner for 65 years until last April. Sixty-five years! For 65 years he enjoyed all the privileges and biases that come with being a rich, white man in America. He navigated the world as a man and was afforded the conveniences of a man. He has never had to hit the glass ceiling or struggle as a woman in a man’s field. He has never had to be a woman having to prove that she can do the same job as a man…and this is the person you’ve nominated to carry the illustrious title of “Woman of the Year.”

    As a black woman I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Not only am I competing with white women in a battle against female beauty stereotypes, I now have to compete with white men.

    RICH, WHITE GUYS GET ALL THE THINGS!

    So thank you, Glamour, for that slap in the face to all women who have toiled and triumphed as actual women their entire lives. In this day and age of #BlackLivesMatter and social justice warriors and the War on Women, it’s nice to know progressive, tolerant publications such as yours still reserve their highest honors for rich, white men.

    XXY,

    Kira

     

    Photo by Michael Bezjian/Getty Images

    Kira Davis is a writer, video blogger and homeschool mother of two. She has interviewed President Obama and appeared on Fox News, The BlazeTV and the Dr. Phil Show. Kira is a dog person but she owns a cat anyway. You can find her on Twitter @RealKiraDavis.

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