For Those “I Deserve This” Nights, Even When You Don’t
I was honestly stunned and a little appalled with myself when it was brought to my attention that I had not yet covered this beer. Granted, I brought it to my own attention in a shameless attempt to use the article in a social media post, assuming that as I naturally had so much love and appreciation for this beer that I would have of course written about it. But then it became apparent that either I had not written about it, or…it had been stolen.
I’m not entirely sure how one would steal an online beer review. The more I thought about it, the less likely it seemed. Ultimately and begrudgingly, I accepted the truth, that I was wrong about something, but thankfully was able to repress the sensation of such until just now.
So, how about this beer that I enjoyed so thoroughly that I never managed to write about it and completely forgot that fact until it was convenient? Well, it is pretty spectacular. In the realms of Imperial IPAs, Finch’s Hardcore Chimera ought very well to have its own empire which may rule over other lesser empires from a throne of pure hops.
Sound over the top? That’s because it is. I’m trying to distract from my own failure again.
But what about this beer is so enjoyable? To begin with, it is beautiful to behold following a pour. Deep orange in color, too hazy to see through and ultimately so heavy that as sloppily as you may wish to pour it, the head simply won’t spring up anywhere beyond its own obvious comfort zone. It is a brew which you can judge from looks alone and not be far from the truth.
At a scent, the nose tells you right away that the operative word will be “juicy.” This is to be a beer which pummels you with flavor and sweet, fruity notes through and through. Then at a sip, you pat your nose on the back, which in this case would be the inside of your own face and tell it good job on being so wonderfully right.
Though heavy in body and texture and with a mouthfeel that is almost that of a piece of sourdough bread, citrus notes and swirls of fruity sugars dominate the palate from end to end. With dashes of pear, subtle traces of grapefruit and even strangely, suggestions of butterscotch swimming lovingly across your palate, it is the sort which rolls in and rolls out with gusto and flavorful fanfare, which lingers a bit in the otherwise clean finish.
At 9% ABV, this 16-ounce can makes sense coming to us only in four packs and at something of a respectable premium. Boozy enough to where you can tell it’ll offer some affect, whilst remaining rich enough in flavor to effectively mask this fact, it could quite honestly prove dangerous if sold in packs of six, putting one on their ass perhaps quicker than they’d anticipated.
I am a happy man with this beer in my glass. So to Finch’s, to the mythical creature which in reality would likely be just as splendid albeit twice as dangerous as this brew and of course to you, I say as always…
While the brand may have provided the product mentioned above for free, I was not required to write a positive review, I did not receive any monetary compensation, and the honest opinions I have expressed are my own.
Nicholas Goroff is an actor, writer and craft beer reviewer at EveryJoe.com. Certified as a Cicerone beer server, he is working towards obtaining certification as a beer judge while employed at Bert’s Better Beers in Hooksett, NH. When not reviewing beer, wine and spirits, he is typically writing political essays, screenplays and short fiction. Follow him on Twitter @wizardofcause.
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