Celebrities and Progressives Are Totally Confused About Why They Lost America

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Wed, Nov 9 - 10:24 pm EDT | 2 years ago by
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A lot of celebrities, journalists, and other prominent Progressives woke up to a hard reality today: they lost America. After dismissing Donald Trump (and all the people who supported him) for the past year, and talking about how awful he was (or how awful his people were) instead of the points he was running on, they were shocked – shocked, I tell you! – to find that after kicking the crap out of everyone he ran against, Donald Trump somehow kicked the crap out of them too.

They aren’t taking it well.

Huffington Post on Trump

Here’s Patton Oswalt, who spent most of the election insulting Trump voters:

Sarah Paulson is talking to dolls:

Katy Perry seemed confused:

The “revolution” DID come, Katy. It was against people like you.

Rose McGowan apparently thinks women are going to be kicked out of Trump’s America:

She also thinks that the nearly 60-million people who voted for Trump, including millions and millions of women, only did it because they hate women:

Most celebrities and Progressive pundits seemed happy to just name-call at Donald and the American people who voted for him, without any real introspection:

Alec Baldwin, who spent all the election mockingly impersonating Trump, said that America is “broken” because it democratically elected Trump.


Many celebrities were scared and confused, not used to a world where things don’t go the way they want:

Amy Schumer, of all people, dumbfoundedly asked, “What motivated this?”

Hold each other close. It's not over but this is a reason to really look at ourselves. What motivated this?

A photo posted by @amyschumer on

So I guess I should explain it to Amy and all of you celebrities, because someone has to and it may as well be Urbanski. And while I’m at it, to all the gender-studies college students, and the “journalists” who seem confused (because understanding the reasons would require actual journalism to uncover), and all the other Progressives stunned that it wasn’t “Her Turn” after all. All of you guys in your bubble where you can’t understand how Trump won when absolutely no one you know voted for him.

You ask, “Why did this happen?” Let’s see if we can solve that perplexing mystery together, shall we?

CLUE #1: You Literally Hoped We’d All Die

If you hadn’t wanted Trump to win, maybe you and all celebrities and progressive everywhere shouldn’t have cheered so loud a few days ago when your friend Lena Dunham called for the extinction of straight white men:


You might feel really surprised by this, but most people don’t feel ‘really good’ about having super-wealthy celebrities who’ve never worked a real day in their life calling for the extinction of their entire race, gender or sexuality. I know, CRAZY, right?!

You want to not lose an election? Maybe start by not calling for the deaths of half the nation’s voters.

Clue #2: You’re Hypocrites

Not one of you condemned Dunham for this, or any number of other people who spent the past year saying that men, white men, straight white men, white people, straight people, Americans, or all of Western Civilization need to be exterminated. But you can bet that if someone had said something like “straight black men need to go extinct,” you all would have lost your shit.


And RIGHTLY SO. You SHOULD lose your shit, celebrities and other progressives, when someone says “everyone of this race should go extinct!” That’s right! But you should feel that way about ANY race, not make a special exception for one you think you can insult for free.

And while we’re at it, you try to pretend like we all say stuff like ‘kill all the Latinos’ all the time, but we don’t. I know you’ll have trouble with this one: some of us even ARE Latinos, like me.

And we have NO politician or celebrity anywhere near as famous or influential as Lena Dunham advocating racial genocide at all, even though you guys desperately wanted to imagine we did. There was only some marginalized retards none of us like anyways and who have no influence over Trump or his campaign. The 3.5 MILLION or so Latinos who voted for Trump, and probably close to a million black voters too, have way more influence on Trump than the couple of hundred white-power neo-Nazis who don’t realize half Trump’s family is Jewish. The only people who thinks Trump gives a crap about those racists is the media.

If any conservative celebrity or politician ever said anything even close to what Dunham said, the same media would crucify them. But instead when Dunham and other actors, comedians, journalists, Twitter celebrities, etc. say stuff like that about white people or straight men or Americans, you all applaud.

Do you really not see how that might just piss us off? I know you think things like Dunham’s little video look “profound” or “brave” but trust me: to all the rest of us, you just sound like Hitler.

Clue #3: Could Calling Us All Nazis All the Time Have Anything to Do With It?

Speaking of Hitler, if you want to win elections maybe stop calling regular people Nazis when they get upset at you cheering for their extinction. Or at you laughing about them losing their jobs. Or at you mocking their values.

Heck, you pretty much call us Nazis any time we do anything. You think that might be why regular people don’t like you anymore?

For example, you mock Christians all the time. Some of your celebrities even do it when Christians are literally being killed for being Christians:

war on Christians

But if a regular American says anything about Islam, he’s a xenophobic monster, right?

Hate Crime

You have a double standard: no one else’s culture or religion can be so much as joked about, but the religion and culture of everyday Americans can be shat all over constantly by decadent actors and comedians and “journalists”.

You mock all the basic foundations of western civilization, things most ordinary Americans are proud of and consider treasured truths. Things like Free Speech.

UN Feminists

And the nuclear family. And the military. And pride in the community. And patriotism, loyalty, discipline, hard work, and moral rules.

Yes, it’s true that some ordinary Americans get a bit uptight about some of these; but progressives seem to go out out of their way to want to demean all these things people really care about.

You say working hard and getting ahead by your own merit (the American Dream) is a lie and just “privilege.” You say masculinity is really “rape culture.” You say competition is “patriarchy.” You say being patriotic is “imperialism.”

Chelsea and Hillary on White Privilege

Clue #4: You Live in a Fantasy World, and Demand We Do, Too

You expect us to ignore things that seem like basic truths – like how if there’s a religious-based terrorist attack, it’s usually not an Amish dude who did it.

Amish Terrorist

Your progressive media and politicians can’t even say the words “Islamist terrorist bombing.” Hell, you can’t even say the word “terrorist” anymore. Hell, you can’t even say the word ‘bomb’ anymore!

Jake Tapper Bombing

An Islamist puts a bomb outside a home for the blind in New York, and we can’t say it was a bomb. It was an ‘explosion’ or a ‘blast’ – like in your fantasy universe things just explode for no reason or cause whatsoever. Because using the word “bomb” would be Islamophobic even though you tell us again and again “terrorism has nothing to do with Islam!”

A guy shoots 50 people at a nightclub, calls the authorities, literally says: “I declare allegiance to the Islamic State. I kill these people for Allah…” But you demand that we all have to pretend that we can never know why he did it. And then you blame it on gun ownership and want to take away our guns.

(And it doesn’t help when later Hillary gives his pro-Taliban dad pride-of-place front and center at her rally):

Pro Taliban Dad - Hillary

A Muslim migrant runs over 86 people in France and you say we can’t call it terrorism. You call it a “truck attack,” like it drove itself.

Truck Attack

And whenever one of these attacks happen the first thing you guys always seem to worry about is not the people who died but about how it might lead to Islamophobia. Protecting your fantasy world narrative always comes first, so to ordinary Americans you look like delusional fascists.

It’s not just with terrorism. You want to pretend a black kid from an upper class family whose dad makes $8 million a year and sent her to Harvard has less “privilege” than a white kid living in a shack in Kentucky with a meth-addicted mom. And if we say that’s crazy you call us racists.

White Privilege Walmart

You talk about how we live in a “rape culture” of “rampant sexism” (while you claim that “Islam is a really feminist religion”), and how girls face horrible discrimination in education. But girls and women are now outperforming boys in every single level of education. Girls do better than boys in everything from pre-kindergarten to graduate school, but somehow they are the ones who need special favors and help and a support network, and not the boys who are dropping out in record numbers. And if we complain about that, you call us sexist and tell us that we shouldn’t cry “male tears” and that “Men are over.” I guess no one told Trump men were over, huh?

In fact, the only time any of you seem to care at all about little boys is if they’re Muslim migrants or want to become little girls.

And since you expect us to believe these were “child refugees”:

Child refugees

This was pretty much the only real little boy you cared about all year:

Transgender kid

And you know, if it wasn’t that I really strongly suspect it was his mom’s idea to dress him up like that, it would be fine, if it really was his choice. Most Trump voters don’t care about that, either. Some hardcore “theocons” do, but MOST of us agree with Trump that transgender people can use whatever bathroom in Trump Tower they want.

It would just be nice if you gave a shit about all the disadvantaged and failing boys who don’t want to wear dresses too.

Clue #5: You’re Pretty Much Just Assholes… Wait, Could That Be It??

You let rich trust-fund liberal arts students, who are literally the most REALLY ‘privileged’ people on Earth, tell unemployed auto workers in the rust-belt or the poor rural southerners that they are “the problem.” You say that they’re voting for Trump because they “just want to hold onto their white power” or similar bullshit.


Of course you don’t just go after straight white men. You’ll totally go after women, even women of color, maybe even worse than men, if they dare to not vote the way you demand they do.

Hirsi Ali
(Ayan Hirsi Ali is a black immigrant atheist feminist, and you hate her. And Trump fans LOVE her.)

And LGBT people too. You know one celebrity who isn’t crying about Trump’s win? Peter Thiel. After you outed him as gay, you turned around and said he wasn’t really gay because he votes Trump.

Peter Thiel

But you cheer when millionaire rock stars literally get on a yacht with all their millionaire friends and have a champagne party and go scream and swear at unemployed fishermen for supporting the Brexit vote because they want their jobs back.


And then you couldn’t understand how the British people could possibly have voted “out.”

But you were totally sure that here in America you’d be fine, if you just copied exactly the same strategy the “remain” campaign did in Brexit and called anyone complaining about the economy a racist, and called anyone complaining about crime privileged, and called anyone complaining about censorship a homophobe (even actual homosexuals who do that, like Milo Yiannopoulos), and just generally call everyone an “ignorant deplorable” if they have any legitimate political, moral or social concerns at all, and said anyone who liked Trump even a little bit was a know-nothing ignorant bigot. It didn’t matter what their real problems or real issues were, it’s just so much easier and safer for your reality bubble to think that everyone who questions you is either an uneducated redneck or a neo-Nazi (or both!).

So you portrayed conservatives as subhuman morons who can’t possibly have anything valid to say about their own problems, and were being evil for even questioning what rich white liberals TOLD them was best for them. Or as mustache-twirling villains who had no reason for opposing your “progressive” vision.

I know you think that vision looks like this:

Flower power

I know you still imagine that you are the rebels, like in the hippie days – that you are the ones being brave and heroic in pushing your vision of a progressive society. But you aren’t. You are literally the least brave people in American culture today, because you OWN the culture. You have control of ALL the mainstream media, of Hollywood, of academics and colleges, of the Democrat Establishment, the Republican Establishment, of pretty much every level of culture. And there’s really NO ONE (outside your own minds) who is still opposed to the main concepts of equality, of human rights, and of personal freedom. Instead, you have become agents of political Conformity, trying to push your agenda on people from above. And you’ve started to engage in censorship and even now in things like discrimination and segregation to do it. So to everyone else, you just look like this:

University of Missouri

And after all that, you’re surprised at being given a huge middle-finger by the American People? Confused at how the people you named the Deplorables told you, “Thanks, progressives, but we don’t want YOUR vision of progress”?

You of all people, Amy Schumer, could have seen it coming, when people walked out of your “comedy” show.

The fault is not with ourselves, but with our stars.

Follow me on Twitter @KasimirUrbanski. Please contact me there if you are interested in hiring me to write on politics, culture, religion, games, history, or just about anything else.

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