All Your Base Are Belong To Us

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Mon, Jan 2 - 8:00 am EDT | 2 years ago by
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All Your Base Are Belong To Us

All Your Base Are Belong To Us1

That’s something the Left has never understood, and that’s why its contempt is so heavy with hate. When it spits on the flag or tries to piss out the eternal flame…or yells “Women’s lib” outside the church at an old-fashioned wedding…it does so in such a grim, serious manner, like some “pompous assholes,” as the Left would put it, if only it could judge. The true Right is never so grim; that’s why the left hates its guts, the way a hangman must hate his victim as he laughs and jokes on his way to the gallows.

~ Jean Raspail, The Camp of the Saints

First off, Happy New Year, friends, God Bless America, and perdition to her enemies. Now let’s start that new year with some fun, shall we?

Ladies, gentlemen, the face of the enemy:

That creature2, who has somehow managed, like the execrable Lena Dunham,3 to avoid being harpooned and processed for oil, ivory, and blubber by rogue Japanese whalers, is Cora Gales4, better known to the world as “Trigglypuff.”

Now, I don’t want you to think of Trigglypuff as merely another Social Justice Warrior who needs a diaper change. Oh, no, she’s much more – much more valuable – than that. Indeed, the whole country’s population of SJWs has become a resource for us. What? You doubt this? Read on.

Somebody Set Up Us The Bomb

Ordinarily, which is to say ordinarily when dealing with a sane enemy, it would be considered unwise to do him5 a small injury, or to motivate him to greater efforts. And, were we still dealing with the old mainstream Democratic Party, especially the party as it was before the Dixiecrats became Republicans, it would be a mistake to provoke them in minor and non-ruinous ways. Happily or unhappily, that party is deader than chivalry. What’s left are mostly the Trigglypuffs, along with the genocidal lunatics – like the aforementioned incestuous child molester, Lena Dunham6 – who want straight white men extinct7, reinforced by the left-wing professorial freakshow8, and egged on by myriad self-righteous and unutterably stupid assholes, molesting innocent women and their families, on public conveyances, when said women have had the bad judgment to be fathered by men the assholes don’t like.9

Oh, yes, yes, there are, no doubt, some sane men and women hovering around the top echelons of the Democratic Party. But if they’re sane they’re equally corrupt, venomous spiders, dripping with poison, at the center of left wing insanity. However, those spiders aren’t really in control of the movement anymore. Nobody is. Instead, the left is largely a bunch of self-willed, albeit unintelligent, bombs, just like Trigglypuff, waiting to go off at the slightest emotional jar.

And we – yes, we right wing knuckle-draggers – control those bombs because we can emotionally jar them. Hence, to paraphrase, ‘somebody set up them the bomb.’

Take Off Every Zig…

where “zig” is equal to “act , to include speech, perpetrated by the right that causes Social Justice Warriors to emotionally explode.”

Now think about that, for a bit. As I began, quoting Jean Raspail, the left is humorless and grim. They cannot take a joke. Indeed, they have only one joke: “He’s stupid,” as they have only one insult, “you’re stupid.”10 (Why is that? Well…it’s because they’re rather stupid, really. Exceptions are just that, exceptional.) We can provoke them at will, easily, any time we like.

Moreover, the more we do provoke them, for the next four years, provided we do so with humor, hence the more we can get them to act like the fascisti they are, the more likely it is that the Democrats cannot return to power, because social justice is now at the core of their base, so much the core, in fact, that they cannot repudiate it. White men? Hell, white people? Pretty much gone now, and apparently not broadly welcome to return.11

That’s how we got Trump elected, really, that working class whites – and not inconsequential numbers of high quality blacks and Hispanics, too, be it noted – got tired of being ignored, except to be disadvantaged, and tired of being insulted. That’s why we’re in control of both House and Senate. That’s why we have a fairly hefty majority of state governorships. And that, o, most blessedly, is why we, not the left, are going to set the immediate tone for the Supreme Court and quite possibly create a supermajority within it that will last generations

But to make absolutely sure of that, to save the country, we need to keep the left out of power not merely through 2020, but all the way to 2024 and maybe beyond.

To that end I propose the following highly amusing program. I am going to drop a line to every right wing pundit I can think of, from Ann Coulter to Rush Limbaugh, referencing this column and suggesting that we should greet the ascension of Donald Trump to the oval office, this 20th of January, by flooding the internet, the airwaves, and the legacy media with the old but still fun meme:

All Your Base Are Belong To Us.12

At the same time I’ll pester both EveryJoe and to do the same, in banner headlines, on the great day.

It may not be enough. In the big scheme of things, I am not so very big (and it’s snowing outside…and there are wolves…aaaooooooo…oops, wrong story). However, you can help. Post the meme this 20th to every leftie blog you can find, from DailyKos to DU to Start nagging the righties, from the aforementioned Coulter and Limbaugh, to Breitbart and Taki, to every right wing blog you can find to make this 20th of January a day to remember, for all the SJWs we can cause to emotionally explode…

For Great Justice!


1 This column is dedicated to “Dr. Science,” who posts on file 770 and who was an early recognizer of my innate and incurable evilness.

2 For a version moving in many senses, with sound:

3 h/t Vox Day

4 Or Cora Segal, or Cora Miriam…or maybe “Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea.” Or was it Moby Twat?

5 This one’s from the heart, fuck gender-neutral speech.





10 Second h/t Vox Day

11 And the funny part? I mean the really­ funny part? These idiots haven’t clue one that they are responsible for, and at the core of, the rise in not just the alt-right, but the alt-white as well.


Tom Kratman is a retired infantry lieutenant colonel, recovering attorney, and science fiction and military fiction writer. His latest novel, The Rods and the Axe, is available from for $9.99 for the Kindle version, or $25 for the hardback. A political refugee and defector from the People’s Republic of Massachusetts, he makes his home in Blacksburg, Virginia. He holds the non-exclusive military and foreign affairs portfolio for EveryJoe. Tom’s books can be ordered through

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