– Obama Tells Cheney To Stop Talking Like Somebody’s Grandmother –
Former Vice President Dick Cheney suggested President Obama “do what it takes to win” in Afghanistan. Which is some pretty strange advice, given the fact the U.S. hasn’t “done what it takes to win” any conflict in the last … More »
– Wal-Mart Fires ‘Asset Protection Officer’ For Chasing Down Shoplifter —
Josh Rutner was a unique Wal-Mart employee. He took his job seriously.
Josh was tasked with being an “asset protection officer” for the gigantic retailer. So, when a customer bolted on the check at Wal-Mart’s food … More »
– Jail Officials Become Suspicious Of Inmates’ Sudden Interest In Tennis –
Prison officials at the Orleans Parish Prison in Louisiana have served a number of warrants on people who were using tennis balls to smuggle contraband drugs to inmates by lobbing the balls over the walls of the prison.
Guards became … More »
– Say Dorothy Never Left Kansas, Scarecrow and Cowardly Lion May Have Been Professional Actors –
In a reversal of previous statements, Kansas police say they now believe the entire story of Dorothy Gale, the young girl who claims she was denied a return ride to her farm by a wizard … More »
– University of Toronto Fruit Fly Researchers Unlock Key To Sex Appeal; First Step: Don’t Be A Fruit Fly Researcher –
A team of incredibly freaky scientists at the University of Toronto say they have uncovered the secret to sex appeal, unleashing what they referred to as a “sexual tsunami” among … More »
– Blog Action Day 2009 Mobilizes Bloggers In Biggest Waste Of Online Time Since Computer Solitaire –
Has there ever been a more ridiculous time sink than the amount of money, press coverage and trampling of individual choice associated with worrying about global warming?
If someone can point it out to me, … More »
–Stories Ripped-Off From The Day’s Headlines –
Russia Refuses To Back Iran Embargo
Putin Says Sanctions Don’t Work … Better To Use Poison
“Trust me, Iranians love sushi….”
Pepsi iPhone App Offers Guys Pick-Up Lines, Chance To Post ‘Conquests’ On Facebook
iCreep App Proves Hit With Key Stalker Demographic
Wants you to come up to the … More »
– Lawyers Admit Former CEO Did Illegal Stuff But Argue That Doesn’t Mean He Violated ‘Honest Services’ Statute; Rest of World Says, ‘Huh?’ –
The Supreme Court yesterday scheduled time on its docket to hear an appeal by former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling.
The Court will decide whether to uphold lower … More »
– Blogger’s Wife Captures Coveted Prize For Groundbreaking Work Proving ‘The More You Spend the More You Save’ –
For the second time in less than a week, the world was shocked at the Nobel Prize Committee’s selection of a winner of one of its annual awards.
Last week’s surprise was Barack … More »
– Lawyer Says Roman Polanski Is Feeling Depressed In Jail –
As a general rule, lawyers are irritating as hell. If they’re not busy trying to parse simple English into some unrecognizable formulation to suit whatever side they happen to be collecting money from, they’re issuing stupid statements on behalf … More »
– Board of Directors Caves to Gov’t Pressure to Limit Pay, Require All Citigroup Execs To Wear Frilly Lace Thongs To Work –
Under government pressure Citigroup agreed to sell off one of it’s profitable business units so it could concentrate on losing massive sums of money in its banking activities.
The … More »
– Baltimore Promoters Hope Fear Will Contribute to Record Times in This Year’s Marathon –
The weather forecast is in for today’s Baltimore Marathon and it’s partly cloudy with a chance of aggravated assault.
This year’s marathon passes through some of the city’s most scenic neighborhoods such as the Inner Harbor and … More »
– Space Agency Puts On Show of Strength To Warn Congress Not To Cut Funding –
NASA has finally settled on the target for the missile it plans to launch into the surface of the moon this Friday. The agency has announced it will send its “lunar impacting probe” into the … More »
– 74-Year-Old Woman Attacked As She Tries to Shoo Raccoons Off Porch; ‘This Isn’t Over,’ Warns Bullwinkle –
A 74-year-old woman who was attacked by raccoons was listed in stable condition today, or as stable as anyone could be after being mauled by a bunch of raccoons.
Seriously, how come no one … More »
– Ability To Check Your Overdrawn Bank Balance In Men’s Room Is Latest Useless App Waiting To Be Hacked –
Ooooh. Have you got the latest, coolest app that lets you check your bank balance anytime from your cell phone? You do?! Really?!
Oh, I know. It’s for all … More »