While 38-year-old Marty is looking forward to celebrating Father’s Day this weekend, he’s hoping he’ll be able to celebrate something much bigger soon.
The married father of three kids, ages 7, 6, and 18 months, is on the transplant list for a new heart. His courage and perseverance make him a super dad we’re excited to feature for Father’s Day.
A long road
Nine years ago, Marty was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. “My lower left ventricle is enlarged and unable to pump blood to my other organs effectively,” he explains. “The doctors also found an irregular heartbeat and therefor placed a defibrillator in my chest to shock my heart if ever it beat so fast that it would cause death.”
Unfortunately, his condition worsened over the past year and he was recently diagnosed with congestive heart failure and pulmonary hypertension, conditions his doctor told him are genetic.
I asked Marty about his reaction upon learning he’d need a new heart and he told me, “I was relieved and excited.”
That might not be what we’d typically expect, but his explanation makes complete sense: “I had been living with my heart condition for nine years and my heart got so bad that I had no energy. So when they said I definitely needed a transplant, I was excited that I could feel normal again.”
Weathering the storm together
Marty’s illness and wait on the transplant list has had a drastic effect on his family — both financially and emotionally. “I had to quit my job as a teacher and move my entire family to Los Angeles [from Las Vegas] to be close to UCLA,” he says. The family is currently relying heavily on family and friends for financial help.
“Emotionally, there are ups and downs. The most difficult thing to deal with emotionally is the uncertainty of when the heart will come,” Marty explains. “In the meantime there is all of the stress of worrying how we are going to keep a roof over our head and put food in our kids’ mouths.”
Marty’s children are holding up well, despite the upset in the family’s lives. “Children are resilient,” Marty notes. “My girls adapted to their new school and made friends rather quickly. They kind of just go with the flow. Their biggest concern is that I can’t play physically with them.”
The value of support
Marty and his family are facing so much hardship, and nothing can undo that. But fortunately, there are organizations designed to do what they can to ease the struggle. Ava’s Heart is the only non-profit in the U.S. that offers broad support to transplant patients both before and after their organ transplants.
Marty, his wife, and his daughter with Ava, the founder of Ava’s Heart.
Ava’s Heart, along with Change A Life Foundation, provided Marty and his family with a grant that will cover their housing preceding and following his transplant. Most of us don’t know that transplant patients must prove that they have secured housing by the transplant center for three full months after the procedure. For people already facing financial crisis, that can be an insurmountable obstacle.
“The grant that Ava got for us for… housing is like a gift from God himself,” Marty says. “Not having to worry about paying for housing post transplant takes a tremendous emotional weight off of my shoulders.”
His most important role yet
Despite his extreme health challenges, Marty relishes his role of Dad. “When I was younger, I used to be an actor,” he says. “Being a dad to three little girls is the best role I have ever played.”
“I think the best part is when a special moment happens, and you make eye contact, and it’s almost like you can see their soul. For a split second time seems to stop, and you feel a sense of Nirvana.”
Parenting isn’t always easy, but Marty wouldn’t have it any other way. “I knew what I was getting into when my wife and I decided to start having children,” he explains. “It’s been a big job, especially with my heart condition, but I can’t imagine being 45 years old and not having kids. I mean, really, what in the world would I do with all that time?”
It’s all about love
“Tell your kids you love them everyday,” Marty says. “They are on the go constantly, so sometimes you latterly have to grab them by the shoulders, look them in the eye, and make sure they truly understand what you are saying. Otherwise, it’s just words to them.”
Happy Father’s Day to Marty — and best wishes for a new heart and renewed health.